Moving Forward
by Idan
Summary: Sequel to Recalculating. Jane and Lisbon's new relationship is challenged by a case with a personal angle for Lisbon.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I don't own The Mentalist; I'm just a fan trying to survive the hiatus.

**Author's Note**: You might be a tad confused by the non-canon way Jane and Lisbon came together if you haven't read Recalculating, but otherwise you'll be fine. This sprang from an idea I came up with while tweeting one night. I wasn't serious about it at the time, but my muse apparently was. Hopefully this will keep her happy through the long summer days...

Oh, and this gets a little toward the M side in the third section. You can safely skip that if it's not your cup of tea.

**Moving Forward**

Teresa Lisbon sat at the bar working on her third beer and wishing the game on TV was more absorbing. She needed a distraction, and this blowout wasn't providing it. The beer wasn't doing it either. And the reason she liked this sports bar was that everybody kept to themselves, so there wasn't anybody to distract her with conversation.

Which left her with nothing to do but fume about Jane.

She'd foolishly thought things were going well. The past three months since she'd come back from DC had gone by in a delirious, endorphin-soaked blur, solving cases by day and rolling in the sheets at night, sharing passion and laughter and confidences. Sometimes in an unguarded moment, she'd be struck all over again with the fact that she was the woman Patrick Jane loved, and she'd find herself grinning like a fool. She could hardly believe she had what she'd wanted for so long.

Of course, in all those years of daydreaming about being with Jane, she'd never once thought being his lover would involve watching him ask another woman out right in front of her.

She wasn't an idiot; she'd known immediately it was case-related. Jane was many things, but not a womanizer. And not stupid. But she was damned if she was going to sit quietly while he took her for granted in their personal life, as he so often did at work.

So when he'd assured her he'd be home right after his "date," she'd told him not to bother hurrying. His attempt to explain himself left her unmoved, though she was sure he saw right through her declaration that she intended to find a date of her own for the evening. She hoped his obvious distress at the idea would make enough of an impression to avoid crap like this in the future.

Draining her beer, she motioned for another. She'd take a cab home.

Her attention on her new drink, she ignored the person sliding onto the stool next to her until he spoke. "Shame about the game."

She glanced at him out of reflex, then scowled. "That was fast. Was your date boring?"

Jane grimaced. "Yes, actually. After I got what I needed, I couldn't get out of there fast enough."

"Well, better luck next time."

"There's not going to be a next time," Jane said sharply. "You made it crystal clear you thought I was out of line, and that you're perfectly prepared to punish me in our personal life for my perceived transgressions at work."

"And you've made it crystal clear you don't give a crap what I say at work," she shot back. "And asking for dates is not part of your job!"

"Despite the fact that I've been using that tactic to close cases for years." Jane sounded annoyed, which made her even angrier.

"Fine. Do it all you want. Just don't expect to be sleeping in the same bed with me afterward."

Jane folded his hands in front of him on the bar, leaning forward. "I was under the impression we were going to try to keep our home and work lives separate."

"I meant you couldn't grope me in the office, not that we were checking our whole relationship at the door," she grumbled. "How would you feel if I came on to a guy for a case while you were standing right there?"

"I'd hate it," Jane admitted with a sigh. "And I'm sorry I hurt you. I won't do that again. All right?"

Jane rarely apologized; he even more rarely expressed the intention to alter his behavior. When he did it was always something personal, and so far he'd been pretty good about sticking to his promises to her. She sighed, feeling the impulse to give in and let him off the hook.

"The evening wasn't a total waste," he assured her. "I got a lead out of Tiffani. And we are now perfectly positioned to do a little role playing if you'd like."

She nearly snorted beer out her nose. Jane helpfully patted her on the back until she got herself back under control. When she could breathe again, she muttered, "Role play?"

"Sure." Jane gave her a smile that had lured her into many things against her better judgment, with varying degrees of regret afterward. "You're here seeking revenge on your jerk of a boyfriend, and I'm a sad shadow of a man who's been thrown out by his fed-up lover. We could find consolation in an ill-advised, very dirty little fling."

"I think we've had enough ill-advised activity for one day," Lisbon said firmly.

"Then let me drive you home," Jane offered.

Lisbon drained the rest of her beer. "Fine."

Jane motioned to the bartender and efficiently settled her tab. She thought about arguing she should pay her own bills, but this was all his fault, so he could pay the damages, she decided.

She accepted Jane's arm around her shoulders as they left, and she didn't grumble when he opened the passenger door for her and helped her in, even buckling her seat belt. She was tired, and it felt good to let him take care of her. The attention helped the hurt fade somehow.

"How'd you find me?" she asked as he started her car.

"I gave the cab driver your old address and asked him to take me to the closest serious sports bar," Jane replied. "I know you haven't had time to find a new one."

Lisbon made a mental note that next time she wanted to hide from Jane, it would have to be somewhere far harder to figure out. Not that she'd really been hiding. She just didn't want to be home when he got back from his date. She wanted him to have that instant of sickening, horrified doubt she'd had to suffer when he gave Tiffani Geddes that sly grin and asked for her number.

She was uncomfortably aware that revenge had no place in a loving relationship, but she was so tired of Jane having everything his way. He'd been an idiot and sent her off to DC, hurting not only the two of them, but Marcus, because he thought he knew what was best for her. He'd lured her back when he couldn't stand it anymore, found them a perfect house to rent, and moved them both into it without showing any interest in her opinion. She bet he'd already picked out the ring he was going to give her in some carefully orchestrated proposal worthy of the sappiest romantic movie ever.

_What's wrong with me? _she thought in frustration. Most women would kill for a man half as in love with them as Jane was with her. She should be happy. She shouldn't let one of Jane's idiotic stunts derail the best relationship she'd ever had.

"Teresa," Jane said quietly, in the soft, low voice he used when he was serious. "I'm just as scared as you are. Please try to remember that."

She nearly scoffed. Since when did Jane admit to fear? "Right. Like you're afraid of me."

"I'm terrified of you," he sighed.

She frowned, looking at him for the first time since they'd gotten in the car. "Why?"

"You knew exactly where to hit me when you decided to lash out," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "There's only one person in the world who could utterly destroy me, and that's you. I'm terrified one day I'll screw up so badly you'll decide to do it."

"Patrick," she sighed. "I was mad, yes. I made a stupid threat. But I'd never actually go out with someone to get back at you. I'm not a cheater."

"No, you're not. But you might decide to end it with me and then you'd be free to see other guys. I can't go through that again, Teresa. Watching you with Pike, leaving me in slow motion, was like...like death from a thousand tiny cuts."

"I'm sorry that hurt you," she said, biting her lip to keep from reminding him that he could have stopped her at any time. "I can't promise never to date again if this...if we don't work out. But as long as you're willing to try to make this work, I'll do the same. Okay?"

"Thank you." Jane reached for one of her hands and squeezed it.

Lisbon folded her free hand over their clasped ones, feeling her heart warm at the smile he gave her. It was easy to forget sometimes that Jane was not nearly as self-assured as he seemed, that behind that breezy air was a badly damaged man who needed her caring to keep the jagged pieces of his heart from cutting into him.

It was possible that he really hadn't thought his ploy would hurt her. She'd been angry because she expected him to know how she'd feel about anything he did, but he wasn't perfect. He might have miscalculated, especially if he expected her to compartmentalize their work and home lives, as she'd told him they should.

"I knew right away you weren't interested in Tiffani personally," she admitted. "But it still hurt to watch. I guess that's something I can't be rational about."

"I wouldn't have done it if I'd known that," he replied. "Or at least, I wouldn't have done it in front of you. I'll be sure not to again."

She had to admit Jane's mock seductions often turned up valuable leads, painful though they were. "If you honestly think that's the best way to proceed, I don't want you to avoid it just because of me. But maybe you could give me a sign so I can pretend my phone's ringing and walk away before you start undressing her with your eyes?"

Jane grimaced. "Fine. Pick a code word. And I wasn't undressing her with my eyes. Given what she was wearing, that would have been superfluous."

Lisbon snorted in agreement. "She wasn't leaving much to the imagination, was she? I kept waiting for her to fall out of her dress."

"She's far too calculating for a wardrobe malfunction," Jane remarked. "I prefer a little mystery, myself. Years of peeking down your blouses make uncovering your breasts exciting every time. I love that you don't parade them around for everyone to see."

She'd noticed that lingerie didn't seem to turn him on like other men she'd been with; he seemed more partial to old T-shirts or jerseys. It had taken her a while to get used to the fact that her no-sex-tonight wardrobe said something completely different to Jane. Maybe if she went to bed nude, he'd figure sex was off the table?

For his birthday, maybe she'd dress up like an old Victorian spinster. She grinned at the thought as they pulled into their driveway.

Jane eased her out of the car and into the house while she stifled her yawns in his shoulder. She was half-asleep by the time she sat down on the bed and let Jane undress her and help her into her softest old T-shirt. Then she drank the glass of water and took the aspirin he brought her before curling up on her pillow.

"Good night, sweetheart," Jane whispered, leaning down to kiss her.

She wound her arms around his neck and pulled him down, wanting his weight on her. "Frisky?" he teased when she let him breathe.

Lisbon wrinkled her nose. "You smell like her. Go shower."

"You'll be asleep by the time I finish," he pointed out.

"So? Wake me up."

Jane chuckled as he got up. "I think I've pushed my luck enough for one day," he said. "See you in the morning, love. I'll give you your favorite wake up call."

Lisbon mumbled something into her pillow in response. She was asleep before he left the room.

mmm

Jane took a long time to fall asleep that night. Lisbon tended to curl in on herself when hurt; she lashed out when threatened. Her reaction to Tiffani had mystified him, because how on earth could she be threatened by a woman she knew he wasn't even a little attracted to?

The answer, he finally realized, was that she wasn't threatened by Tiffani. She was threatened by him, by how much power he had to hurt her. And unfortunately she'd been on the receiving end enough to know how bad that hurt could be.

He'd promised them both he was going to do his best never to hurt her again, but he'd gone and done it nonetheless.

He reached over to stroke her hair, still short after the radical cut she'd had in DC, but starting to grow out again. She was his darling, his love. He'd do anything for her. Not hitting on suspects in front of her was a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things.

This was a setback, though. He wanted to get to a place where she trusted him unreservedly before taking the next step, but this was going to take time to get past. He wondered how much of her reaction was a release of pent-up hurt and anger from other times he'd done the same thing when she didn't feel she had the right to object. From Jennifer Sands to Krystal Markham, it was a long list.

He had a lot to make up to her.

Patience was called for, galling as it was. He wouldn't rush her like Pike had; he didn't want any shell shocked stammering in response to his heartfelt, carefully composed proposal speech. He was just lucky she'd been too tired to banish him to the Airstream, safe in its trailer park awaiting the next road trip. Fond as he was of it, he hated sleeping apart from Lisbon.

She frowned in her sleep, making a cute little half-grunt, half-groan. Jane leaned in and nuzzled her neck, kissing along her jaw until she gave a sigh of contentment. Then he tucked an arm around her, snuggling closely and burying his face in her hair as he let himself relax. He needed to sleep.

He wanted everything to go perfectly tomorrow.

mmm

Jane's plans for a perfect day with Lisbon started out just fine. He woke her with coffee, homemade banana nut muffins, and fresh squeezed orange juice, finished off with strawberries he'd picked up at a farmers market two days ago. Fully caffeinated, with her stomach and sweet tooth satisfied, she lay back with a promising smile as he picked up the tray from the bed.

"Was that an apology?" she asked.

"If you'd like it to be," he replied. "However, if that isn't enough, I have a Plan B that involves multiple orgasms."

Her smile grew, so Jane set the tray on the dresser and returned to the bed to kiss her strawberry-flavored lips. "I'm prepared to grovel to the extent you deem necessary," he assured her, throwing back the covers to reveal her bare legs. Then he wrapped a hand around one slender ankle, sliding it slowly upward, noting how her breathing changed.

Lisbon glanced at the clock, but Jane had taken care to wake her early enough to leave time for lovemaking. So she relaxed and watched him, obviously deciding to enjoy herself.

"I love you," he said, because she never got tired of hearing that. "You're the only one I dream of touching. I love your soft skin and strong muscles. I love looking at you and knowing you let me see everything you normally keep hidden. I love the way you look at me, as if you're afraid this is all a dream and you're hoping desperately you won't wake up if it is. And I know that look because you see it in my eyes every time you let me touch you." He slid his other hand up her other leg, then laid his palms against the creamy skin of her inner thighs and gently pushed them apart. Moving with excruciating slowness, he slipped his fingers inside the damp material at their apex, seeking out the source of the heat and moisture.

By now, Jane was an expert at pleasuring Lisbon, so he had her writhing and bucking in no time. As she sighed, coming down from her orgasm, he reached up under her shirt and petted her stomach, inching the material up.

The second orgasm was the real challenge, he thought, especially in the mornings. He'd long ago disproved her belief that she couldn't come in the morning, but that second one took time they didn't normally have. And she usually needed it a little rough, which he didn't always have energy or inclination for.

But this morning was about her, not him. Though he planned to enjoy himself as well, since this part involved the erection that had escaped his boxers when Lisbon started to moan in excitement.

He tugged her panties off, then pushed her shirt up. She lifted her upper body off the bed so he could pull it all the way off, then sat up and reached for his boxers. When they were lying skin to skin, he rained little kisses on her shoulders, neck, and face, letting her anticipation build again.

"Top or bottom?" he murmured. She usually didn't like doing the work in the mornings, but occasionally she surprised him.

"Bottom," she replied. "And hard."

"I'll do my best," he promised, rolling her to her back.

One of the many, many things he loved about being with Lisbon was that in times like this, he didn't need to worry about finesse. He didn't have to think, plan, or hold anything back. He just had to pound into her as hard and fast as he could manage. And best of all, the harder it was, the less she needed.

This morning, he was spurred by their fight yesterday and her threat to find someone else. He'd show her he was the only one she wanted. He'd make her so sore she could barely sit down.

He worked up a sweat as she gasped and shrieked beneath him, marking him with her fingernails just before she began to convulse violently around him. Exhausted, he let himself shudder to a stop as he shot her full of thick, hot seed, wishing for the time to come when he could hope it was fulfilling its intended purpose. Not until they were married, though. And that wouldn't happen until she trusted him.

"I love you," he panted into her ear, his voice raspy with exertion.

"Oh," she sighed happily, letting her legs slide from his shoulders, "I love you, too."

She kissed the tip of his nose, then chuckled as her alarm went off. "Perfect timing," she said.

"Timing is everything," he agreed, smacking the button to silence it.

"Well, time to go to work, caveman," she said, rolling him toward the edge of the bed.

"Those mammoths won't hunt themselves," he sighed, standing on wobbly legs.

"Neither will Greg Simpkins' killer," Lisbon agreed.

"Not unless we trick her into it," Jane said. "Which, naturally, I have a plan to do."

"Great. I can't wait."

Lisbon sounded like she might actually mean it, he thought. In that case, he'd give her Tiffani wrapped up in a big bow. And handcuffs.

mmm

Jane was fielding questions and objections from Cho and Fischer when Abbott joined them. He ignored the obvious tension and said, "Lisbon. A word in my office, please."

Jane frowned, gaze following the pair as they vanished behind a closed door. What could Abbott want with her? They hadn't been up to anything questionable lately, and even if they had, Abbott usually confronted Jane directly. If he was going to start using Lisbon as leverage, Jane would have to break him of the habit as soon as possible.

It was only a minute before Lisbon emerged, heading straight for the elevator. Jane left Fischer in the middle of her sentence and went to intercept Lisbon, managing to slide into the elevator just as the doors closed. Fortunately they had it to themselves.

"What's wrong?" he asked, worried by the pallor of her face and the stunned look in her watery eyes.

"I need some time," she said, her voice sounding choked.

"Tell me," he insisted, moving closer to her. She shied away from the hand he tried to lay on her shoulder, which he found alarming.

Lisbon drew a deep breath. "Marcus is dead."

Jane blinked. "Pike? What happened?"

Lisbon shook her head, looking down to avoid his gaze. The elevator stopped to admit a handful of people from the organized crime floor, obviously intent on the mid morning trip to the nearest coffee shop, so Jane stepped in front of Lisbon to give her as much privacy as possible. His smile had enough edge to it that the elevator descended the rest of the way to the lobby in silence.

As the coffee hunters departed, Jane turned to find that Lisbon had composed herself. He waited for her to step off, then put a hand at the small of her back as they went through the lobby, hoping the normalcy of the touch would comfort her without overwhelming her.

Safely outside, they made their way to her car, where she finally looked at him. "I'm going home," she said. "Abbott told me I could. You need to go solve the case."

Jane shook his head. "You're in no shape to drive."

"Jane, I'm fine."

"Then where are your keys?"

Lisbon patted her pockets, then grimaced. "In my desk."

"And that's why I'm driving you home. If you want to be alone, I'll leave you there," he promised.

Lisbon opened her mouth, then sighed and went around to the passenger side as Jane pulled out his set of keys.

"He was shot," she said when they were safely in the car. "In his apartment."

The apartment they'd lived in together, he reminded himself. A place she'd once called home, and a man she'd told herself she loved. Even though she'd left both, this had to hurt.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, and he was. He held no animosity toward Pike; he'd been a good man who'd tried to give Lisbon everything he had to offer. If anything, he felt sorry for him, because he knew what it felt like to lose Lisbon.

Lisbon sniffed quietly and turned to look out the window, hunching over a little.

"Hey," Jane said softly. "You don't have to hide your grief from me. I want to help, not make things worse for you."

"I just...it seems...weird. Awkward."

"No, it's not. You've lost someone you cared about. I love you, and I want to be here for you." He remembered vividly how helpless he'd felt after Bosco's death and Minelli's departure, watching her struggle with grief and loss and knowing she had no one to lean on. She wouldn't have allowed herself to turn to him then, even if he could have found the courage to confront his own grief enough to reach out to her in hers.

But things were different now. He would be there for her, probably more than she wanted or needed. He would do anything and everything to help her. He'd call her old boss in DC and find out the funeral arrangements and the status of the investigation. He'd buy their plane tickets and get a nice hotel room. He'd pack for her, make sure she ate, and try to banish any guilt she was still harboring at leaving Pike.

A stifled sob made him turn off the ignition and reach for her. Their seatbelts made it awkward, but she turned to bury her face in his chest as she quietly cried. Jane stroked her hair as he held her, resolving that whatever else happened, she would never be bereft of comfort.

He would be there for her. No questions, no excuses, no pressure. He would be whatever she needed him to be for as long as she needed it. He'd show her she could depend on him when times were tough.

And most importantly, he would show her that she was loved, in good times and in bad.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **Thanks for the response to this story! I hope I can live up to expectations. This is off to a slower start than I anticipated, but my muse refuses to be rushed. I hope you enjoy it anyway!

**Chapter 2**

Lisbon was restless and anxious by the time they got home. She hated that she'd broken down and cried in the FBI parking lot and wished she'd been able to sneak out without telling Jane. She could have held herself together without his sympathy, she thought. At least long enough to get home, or better yet, church.

She very much wanted to go and pray for Marcus' soul, but the idea of asking Jane to take her there was daunting. He might not make fun of her out loud, but he'd be rolling his eyes when she wasn't looking.

Was he thinking of going to the funeral with her? That would be awkward. Though she couldn't deny his presence would be a comfort to her, she was sure everybody at the FBI in DC knew she'd left Marcus for Jane. What would they think?

"Hey," Jane said gently. "It's obvious you don't want to go home and sit. What would help? The firing range? A run?"

Maybe a nice late morning jog would help, she thought. Jane wouldn't try to accompany her.

"Church?" Jane added after a moment. "I could drop you off, run back to the office and wrap this case up, then make sure Abbott knows we need some time off. I could look into flights and see if he knows anything about funeral arrangements. Then I can pick you up for lunch."

Lisbon felt guilty for wanting to be rid of him when he was being so sweet and helpful. "That would be great," she said. "Thanks." She leaned over to kiss his cheek, which seemed to surprise him.

"It's no trouble. Anything you need, that's what I'm here for," he said, backing the car out of the driveway.

She wasn't surprised he knew the way to St. Anthony's, though she did wonder briefly if he'd followed her at some point. It wasn't the closest Catholic Church to her previous home, but she'd chosen it for its beautiful altar paintings and general peaceful air. She didn't think she'd ever mentioned it in Jane's presence, either before or after she'd moved in with him, but he had his ways of finding out things that were important to her.

She hesitated before getting out of the car. It occurred to her that Jane might get the wrong idea from her reaction to Marcus' death. She didn't want him to think she regretted her choice to come back to him.

"He went to DC because of me," she said, taking a deep breath. "He was going to turn down the job because he didn't want us to break up, but I wouldn't let him. I told him he couldn't turn down an opportunity like that. If I hadn't, he would probably still be here."

Jane was silent for a moment. "It's natural to wonder what if," he said. "I still do, sometimes. But you can't let it take over. None of us can see the future, so we can't hold ourselves responsible for unintended consequences. You don't know that staying in Austin would have been better for him. Maybe this had to do with an old case and would have happened anyway."

"But maybe he wouldn't have been alone," Lisbon pointed out. Of course, he wouldn't have been alone in DC if she hadn't left him, either.

"Then maybe there'd be two bodies instead of one," Jane pointed out. "I for one am very glad there's not."

Lisbon shook her head. She hated to admit it, but he was right. Her presence was no guarantee of safety. But still, it might have decreased the odds that someone could have killed Marcus in his own home.

"It's natural to feel some survivor's guilt," Jane continued softly. "It's the worst kind. It doesn't yield to logic. The only way I've found to cope with it is to ask what you can usefully do with the extra time you've been granted."

Lisbon held her breath as she looked at him. This was the closest he had ever come to talking about the aftermath of his family's murders and how he'd fixed on hunting Red John as his reason to keep living. "When did it go away?"

Jane looked out his window and gave a tired sigh. "It didn't. I tell myself I survived to kill Red John and save the lives of his future victims, strangers I'll never meet. To bring killers to justice and spare other husbands and fathers my fate. To love you and bring some happiness into your life to make up for some of what you've suffered, maybe. But the sad fact is that there are still moments when I think none of it matters, that I'd have been better off if I'd died with them, or at least shortly afterward."

Lisbon swiped at the tear rolling down her face, breathing carefully so she wouldn't sob.

Jane looked over at her and laid his warm hand against her cheek. "That doesn't mean I'm not happy with you. I am. I love you and I love our life together. The guilt is just...part of me. I think a permanent one. But Red John specifically told me he murdered my family because of what I'd done. You have no reason to think that any action of yours led to Pike's murder."

"But I might have been able to save him," she said.

"Maybe," Jane agreed. "We don't know. But I think we should find out as much as we can, to put your mind at rest. That's what we can do for him: make sure whoever did this is brought to justice."

Lisbon nodded. She needed to know everything possible was being done, and for that to happen, she needed to look into the case. She needed Jane to look into it, too, and see the things she might miss. "You'll come to DC with me?"

"Of course. Unless you don't want me to."

"No, I...I want you to," she replied. She could bear the awkwardness; having Jane there to understand her and comfort her—and stop at nothing to catch the killer—would be well worth it.

"Good. All you have to do is let me know what you want. I'll make it happen," Jane told her.

From anyone else, those might have been empty words. But she knew Jane meant it, and when he set out to do something, he usually succeeded. "Thank you. I'll see you in a couple of hours?"

"Whenever you need me. You have your phone, right? Give me a call when you're ready."

"Okay." She hesitated, her hand on the door, then leaned over to give him a quick kiss on the lips. "I love you."

"I know." He smiled lovingly at her. "I'm not threatened by your grief, Teresa. You don't need to worry about me. Okay?"

"Okay," she replied, relieved but feeling a tiny bit rejected.

"I love you too," Jane added. "And I love that even now you're taking care of me. We'll take care of each other, and we'll find out what happened. I promise."

She smiled a little mistily at him. "Thanks. See you soon."

She got out of the car and headed for the church. At the door, she glanced over her shoulder to see that Jane was still there, waiting to see her safely inside. She waved, and he began backing out.

She could take care of herself, of course. But sometimes it was nice not to have to.

mmm

Jane disliked leaving criminals uncaught, but he had to be satisfied with convincing Cho and Fischer that Tiffani Geddes was someone they should watch very, very closely. His broad hints that perhaps Cho could try his hand at luring Tiffani fell on deaf ears; apparently neither he nor Fischer thought the idea had merit, even though Jane knew Cho could be quite the pickup artist when he wanted to be. But Fischer was far less forgiving than Lisbon, so Jane didn't blame Cho for passing up the opportunity to demonstrate his prowess as a ladies' man.

Abbott had no information on Pike's funeral; he'd heard the news through Lisbon's old boss in DC, Don Bradley. Since the murder had occurred just last night, it was probable no arrangements had been made yet.

"Lisbon and I would like to offer our services," Jane told Abbott. "We both want to make sure the killer is caught."

Abbott nodded. "Don's Major Crimes Unit has the case; they took it from DCPD immediately. He thought Lisbon might be interested, but he can't put someone with a personal interest on the case. I think he'd be willing to keep her informed, though."

"Would he put me on the case?" Jane asked. "I'm not emotionally involved."

Abbott gave him a skeptical look. "Oh, yes you are. If I let you go out there, you'll take all kinds of crazy risks to solve this thing for your girlfriend."

Jane made a throwaway gesture with his hand. "I want to catch this killer to put Lisbon's mind at rest, yes. But taking risks would have the opposite effect. I'm not going to add to her stress level by doing anything she'd object to."

"Hm." Abbott considered him for a moment. "Well. I expect Don's people will wrap this up without any help, but if they don't by the time the funeral's over, you can talk to him and see what he says."

"I'll do that." Jane felt his phone buzz and reached for it. Lisbon had texted: _Are you free, or should I get a cab?_

_I'll be there shortly_, he responded. Looking up, he said, "I have somewhere to be. I've given Cho and Fischer all the information they need to solve the Simpkins case. Can I tell Lisbon we're good with the bureaucratic stuff?"

"Technically neither of you is eligible for leave yet," Abbott said, "but under the circumstances, I'll tell Human Resources to let you borrow the time you'll be eligible for after a year."

_There goes the honeymoon_, Jane thought ruefully. "Thank you," he said, getting up.

"Good luck," Abbott replied.

mmm

Lisbon was waiting on the sidewalk when Jane arrived, pacing a little despite the heat. He frowned as he stopped the car, looking closely at her as she got in. She did not have the look of a woman who'd found peace in her religion. She looked stressed.

"Hey," she greeted him, fastening her seatbelt.

"Hey," he replied, setting the car in motion again. "Abbott's good with our taking leave." She looked like she needed good news.

"Good. We need to go tomorrow."

Ah. She'd spoken to a non-deity at some point. "The funeral's tomorrow?"

"No. I need to plan the funeral tomorrow," she snapped. Then she sighed, rubbing at her forehead. "Sorry. It's just...I wasn't expecting this. I've been gone three months. But I guess he didn't get around to changing his will again."

Ah. Pike had written a new will after moving to DC leaving everything in Lisbon's hands. And, like most people, he'd put off making necessary changes to it. Or had he been hoping Lisbon would come back to him?

"Doesn't he have any family?" Most wills had a second choice for executor if the first was unable or unwilling to act.

"No." Lisbon sounded sad again. "He was an only child, and his parents had him late in life. They're both dead. He's not close to his cousins. I think that was why..."

She trailed off, but Jane didn't need the rest of the sentence. Pike had wanted desperately to build a family because he was alone in the world. He'd found Lisbon, who wanted the same thing enough to give up on the man she really loved and give it a try with him.

"I think it was amicable with his ex-wife, but they aren't really in touch. She remarried," Lisbon added.

So Lisbon was stuck taking care of the final arrangements for her ex-boyfriend, whom she felt guilty over leaving. No wonder she was stressed.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. Let me know what I can do to help."

"Thanks. I just...I've never had to plan a funeral before."

Jane felt his heart constrict with the agonizing memory of burying his family. They hadn't been religious, and he hadn't been capable of planning anything elaborate, so it had just been a short graveside service. But he still remembered the horrible process of trying to pick out coffins and outfits and headstones with his mind barely functioning in a haze of grief. His head had been full of the scent of blood and imagined screams, and after the police had released the bodies he'd operated on autopilot until they were safely buried. Then he'd let his mind go, and it didn't come back for months, until Sophie coaxed it into returning.

He pushed the memories out of his head. Lisbon was the one he should be thinking about. "Your parents?" he asked.

"I was too young when Mom died," she said softly. "Dad and my aunt did that. And when Dad...I was so mad at him. And relieved too. I didn't care what they did with his body, except I knew Mom wanted them to be buried together. Some of his firefighter buddies stepped up to help us, took up a collection for a funeral. They got together with our priest and took care of everything."

Jane reached for her hand, and she clasped it hard.

"I can't believe he didn't change his will," she said, sounding a little choked up.

"I can. Most people procrastinate. I only did one when I came back to the States because Abbott made me."

"You did?" Lisbon asked.

"Sure. It wasn't that different from the one the CBI made me do, though. I left everything to you. Just added some little bequests to Cho and Rigsby and Van Pelt."

Lisbon stared at him with wide eyes. "To me?"

"Yes. Who else?"

She glanced out the window, then tried for nonchalance. "So I'm one stray bullet away from being the proud owner of the Silver Bucket."

"And a couple million in offshore accounts, plus whatever the house in Malibu brings in when it sells," he said, careful to keep his tone casual.

Lisbon was quiet for a long time. Then she said, "I, um, I made a new will when I moved to Austin the first time. I didn't need to change it when I went to DC. I made my brother James executor and left most things to the family."

He shouldn't be hurt by that, he knew, but he was, a little.

"I figured you'd sneak in and take any mementoes you wanted anyway," she remarked. Then she squeezed his hand and said hopefully, "You're my medical power of attorney."

Jane was torn between pride and horror. "I am?"

"Yeah. I figured...you'd try everything. That you'd never give up on me until there really wasn't any hope."

"True," he said. And he supposed that in the event she couldn't make decisions for herself, it would be a relief not to have to argue with anyone while he took care of her.

They drove in silence for a while, until Lisbon said, "I'll change my will if you want. I mean, we're living together, so it would make sense."

Jane kept his eyes on the road. "It's up to you, love. I won't be offended if you don't. I...might not be a good choice anyway. I don't think I'd be able to...concentrate...if you were gone." It was his turn to squeeze her hand. "I really, really want to go first."

Lisbon sniffed, staring out her window and raising her free hand to wipe at her eyes. "Just wait until we're really old and I'm sick and tired of you, okay?"

"I will do my best." They stopped at a light, so he brought their clasped hands up to kiss her fingertips.

They were quiet until they reached home. Then Jane went to the kitchen to fix lunch while Lisbon sat down with her laptop to look at flights.

mmm

Lisbon booked a flight for early the next morning, then, at Jane's suggestion, called Don Bradley in DC to ask his advice. Fortunately they'd had a good working relationship, and he didn't seem to be holding it against her that she'd left so abruptly.

Don didn't have any experience with funeral homes, but he offered to call his pastor for advice. That reminded Lisbon that she had a priest she could consult—going to church had been a great comfort as she struggled to adjust to her new life away from all her friends. So she looked up the number for the church she'd attended in DC, explained her situation, and got a couple of recommendations for funeral homes.

Dealing with what she could get done remotely took up the rest of the afternoon and evening. At some point Jane set down a sandwich and beer on the coffee table, and she realized it must be past dinner time.

"Sorry," she said, looking up from the computer.

Jane smiled at her. "It's okay. I just wish I could help. Do you want me to pack for you?"

"Oh. I need to do laundry first." Crap. Did she have anything black that was clean?

"Already done. What did you think I'd been doing all afternoon?" Jane chuckled.

Lisbon was overcome with gratitude, and she slid her arms around his neck and kissed him. "Thank you," she whispered.

"You're welcome," he whispered back. Then he pecked her on the lips and said in a normal voice, "And now, let's eat dinner."

mmm

It was late when Lisbon finally went upstairs, and she expected to find Jane already asleep. But he was sitting up reading, obviously waiting for her.

"I was about to come carry you up here," he joked, looking at her with serious eyes. He'd been doing that all day, reading her and trying to anticipate what she needed. Thoughtful wasn't a word she'd have used to describe Jane throughout most of their friendship, but he really was when he wanted to be. "I set the alarm for five. Is that enough time?"

Lisbon groaned. "Yeah, I guess."

"Don't worry, sleepyhead," Jane said. "I'll get you onto the plane with the least amount of effort possible on your part."

"Thank you," she said, quickly changing into her nightshirt and sliding beneath the covers.

Jane set his book down on the nightstand and turned off the lamp, lying down and shifting to get comfortable. He ended up lying on his side facing her, and she rolled to face him as well, reaching out a hand. He took it in his, thumb stroking the back comfortingly.

"It's going to be okay. I promise," he said. "Try to get some sleep, darling." Then he leaned over to kiss her forehead.

Lisbon was relieved that he seemed to know she wasn't in the mood for sex, but she thought she might like a cuddle. Jane was an excellent cuddler. She scooted over so she could disentangle her hand from his and drape her arm across his waist, then inched closer so she could tuck her face against his shoulder. Jane wrapped an arm around her and rubbed her back slowly, his breath ruffling her hair.

Trying to calm her mind wasn't working, though. She kept thinking about Marcus and how she'd disappointed him, recalling good times but also the nights she'd lain beside him missing Jane. She was ashamed of herself for that, but she'd acted in good faith, convinced that what they had was enough to build on since she couldn't have what she truly wanted.

What she'd told Jane was true; Marcus had wanted a family very much. She'd understood that, since she wanted a family too, so she believed they could make it work. It wasn't as if Jane was interested in anything but friendship, or so she'd thought.

But he was. When he'd asked her to come back, he'd offered marriage and kids as part of the deal. They hadn't talked about it since, though.

"Hey," Jane murmured, pulling her a little closer. "You know you can say anything to me, right?"

Life was short, she thought. She still wanted to make a family; that hadn't changed. The only thing that had changed was the man she was planning to build it with.

Turning her head so he could hear her, she said, "I want to get married."

Jane kissed the top of her head. "I want that too."

"Not someday. Now. Soon."

Jane hummed a little. "We can go to the courthouse when we get back. But if you aren't in a rush, I'd like it if you'd let me propose to you properly first."

"Nothing big," she protested. "Or embarrassing."

"Neither, I promise. Just something romantic we can both look back on and smile about."

"Okay. And I don't want the courthouse," she admitted. "I want to get married in church."

"Then we will."

That was a relief. She'd explain what that entailed later. At least there wasn't any reason she couldn't marry Jane in the church. If she'd married Marcus, his divorce would have been a roadblock to a Catholic ceremony.

Feeling braver, she added, "And I want to have a baby."

"We can start trying after we're married," Jane said.

He was so old-fashioned, she thought. Or maybe he just wanted her to think that because he was stalling.

"I'm serious."

"I know. But I also know you're having an emotional reaction to Marcus' death. Trying for a baby is something we should be very sure of before we start. Especially you, because you're the one whose job is going to be affected."

She really hated it when Jane was the reasonable one. She sighed in frustration.

"Teresa, you can have everything you want," he assured her. "Just maybe not all at once, okay?"

"Fine."

"I love you," he whispered into her hair.

She sighed again, snuggling up to him and hoping his warmth would lull her to sleep. "I love you, too."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **I've been a little bogged down, so this is off to a slower start than I anticipated. I have always wanted to write Jane and Lisbon on my turf, so I'm grateful Pike gave me a believable excuse. Because of their AU relationship, this version of Lisbon feels more for him than I think the one in the show does. This story isn't going to be all angst, though, I promise! We get into the action in the next chapter, which I'm working on now. So please hang in there!

**Chapter 3**

Jane looked out the window curiously as the plane came to a halt on the runway. He'd never been to Washington before, though since he was looking at the Capitol from across the river, he supposed he still hadn't yet. The airport must be in Virginia.

He tore his gaze from the scenery and looked down at Lisbon, snuggled beneath his arm and sound asleep. She'd been awake on and off all night, and it had finally caught up with her in the air.

At least she was getting better at letting herself lean on him. They had both spent so long hiding their feelings from each other that it was taking time to unlearn that habit. She readily accepted comfort and affection when he offered, but it was still difficult for her to initiate it. Last night, when she'd snuggled up to him, had been something of a breakthrough, though he wondered if it wasn't more the result of her overwhelming need rather than a mark of progress in their evolving intimacy.

"Hey," he said gently, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. "We're here."

"Mm?" Lisbon sat up and looked around, covering her yawn with her hand. "Oh."

Jane refrained from trying to start a conversation, giving her time to fully wake as they grabbed their bags and made their way out into the airport. Lisbon didn't hesitate, heading for ground transportation without needing to read the signs. Since this had been her home airport for a while, Jane was surprised only because one of the few things she'd let slip about her life in DC was that it involved local travel exclusively. There was plenty of crime in the metro area to keep the Major Crimes team busy.

Watching her closely, he noticed a slight break in her stride as they left the secured area. She was looking at an unoccupied space near a pretzel stand, and a brief flash of sorrow crossed her face before she looked away.

Ah. She was remembering her arrival. Pike must have been waiting for her there.

He hoped there wouldn't be ghosts at every turn this trip, but he was afraid this was only the first of many memories she'd be forced to confront. Since she was stuck handling Pike's affairs, they would almost certainly go to the apartment at some point. Jane was avidly curious to see it, but he was sorry it was necessary for Lisbon's sake.

They took a cab to the boutique hotel he'd booked in Old Town Alexandria, because that was an area he thought they'd enjoy and he'd never heard her mention. Hopefully it wouldn't evoke memories of Pike.

"I didn't realize you'd booked us down here," Lisbon said, looking around as they got out of the cab. "I always wanted to spend a day exploring, but we never found the time. I never made it to Mount Vernon, either."

Jane made a mental note to add that to their itinerary. "It looked close enough to town to be convenient," he said.

"Yes, on the Metro," she said. "And it's not too far from the apartment, either. Clarendon's on the Orange Line."

"After we get checked in, maybe we could stretch our legs," he suggested.

Lisbon sighed. "I have an appointment with the lawyer at one. We need to grab a quick lunch and then head for downtown. Then I want to stop by the office. And...the morgue."

That sounded like a dismal day, Jane thought. "Maybe we can hit the zoo afterward. I hear there's a baby panda."

Lisbon managed a smile. "Bao Bao's cute. You could go there instead of the lawyer's office. But I'd, um, I'd like company for the morgue."

"No, I'll stick with you," Jane said. He wanted to be fully informed of what lay in store, and Lisbon was likely to clam up when it came to anything emotional. "What about the funeral home?"

"We'll go there after the morgue. Then, I guess, the apartment. Most of his stuff will probably go to charity, but I think there are some things he left to his college buddies, that kind of thing."

That was more than enough depressing chores for one day, Jane felt. "Then a nice, leisurely dinner and drinks. Room service if you're too tired to go out."

Lisbon gave him an unexpected hug. "Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?" he asked uncertainly as she showed no sign of pulling away.

"For this. For being here and helping me without trying to take over. For...for not making any snide remarks."

Jane smiled. He wasn't stupid; the last thing he would do is make Lisbon feel she needed to defend her dead ex-boyfriend. "Enjoy it while it lasts," he advised. "Once we get back to Austin I'll turn right back into my usual witty self."

Lisbon pulled back, smiling. "Then maybe we should stay here." She picked up her bag and headed inside, Jane catching up to her quickly.

mmm

Jane barely had a chance to look longingly around their room before Lisbon was hurrying him back out. They passed up several lovely dining establishments to grab a quick sandwich, which he was forced to eat much too quickly because Lisbon was intent on getting to the Metro station and grabbing a train for downtown DC.

Jane enjoyed mass transit for the array of people watching opportunities it offered, and the Metro was no exception. Even in the middle of the day, there were business people around, though they were outnumbered by tourists. At Crystal City station, a large group of high school kids got on the train, shattering the quiet. Jane observed them with delight, checking in on Lisbon from time to time. He knew she hated to be watched, so he pretended he wasn't.

After they pulled out of Pentagon station, Lisbon surfaced from her thoughts long enough to say, "There's a great view coming up on our left as we cross the river."

Jane obediently turned to look out the windows as the train came out of the tunnel and onto a bridge. It was a great view indeed, he thought, giving him a glimpse of DC, including a look at the Jefferson Memorial. Too bad this was the fall and not spring, he thought, with no cherry blossoms to be seen. Maybe they would come back someday, though he suspected DC would always be a difficult place for Lisbon to enjoy.

They got to the lawyer's office five minutes early and waited for ten before he could see them. Lisbon was tense and unhappy as he went over the will, talking about probate and other matters Jane had no interest in. It sounded like Lisbon was going to have a part-time job for the next several months wrapping up Pike's financial affairs, which meant things were not going back to normal anytime soon.

They walked the four blocks to the FBI building, Jane taking in the feel of downtown while Lisbon steeled herself to meet her former coworkers again. She led him to an employee entrance and then upstairs to Don's office without comment.

Don got to his feet when they entered, reaching out to shake Lisbon's hand. "Teresa, I'm so sorry. I hoped we'd meet again under better circumstances."

"Thank you. I'm not here to butt in; I just want to know what happened," Lisbon replied.

Don looked at Jane, who held his own hand out. "Patrick Jane. I'm Teresa's partner, and I'd love to butt in."

"Ah. Your reputation precedes you. But I think we have things in hand. Have a seat, and I'll tell you what we know so far."

They settled into their chairs, and Don said, "A neighbor reported the gunshot a little after midnight. Nobody saw anyone enter or leave Pike's apartment, and the security camera in the lobby wasn't working."

"That argues premeditation," Jane pointed out.

"Not necessarily. The camera broke two days before, but the security firm was waiting on a part."

Lisbon nodded, apparently having no trouble believing that. Jane wondered how she'd put up with such lax maintenance if that was typical of the building's management.

"Two shots to the chest, only one of which was fatal. He was still alive when the paramedics got there but died en route to the hospital," Don continued.

Lisbon swallowed hard. "Was he...was he conscious?"

"Not really. He had been, though; after he was shot, presumably after the shooter left, he crawled toward an end table with his cell phone on it. He didn't manage to make a call, but we think he grabbed this instead. He was still holding it when he was found." Don handed Lisbon an evidence bag with a photo in it. When she sucked in a sharp breath, Jane leaned over to see what it was.

Lisbon and Pike in a stadium wearing matching baseball caps, grinning at the camera with their arms around each other. Happy.

Jane couldn't help a painful squeeze of his heart at this reminder that Lisbon had tried to make a life with Pike, and that at least some of the time, it had been one she enjoyed.

Lisbon cleared her throat, managing a reasonably steady voice. "So not a professional hit."

"No," Don agreed. "Sloppy work. So we think it wasn't related to his job, though we're checking on that. And we haven't been able to make much headway figuring out what he did in his personal time." He paused, frowning. "Maybe you can help with that."

Lisbon shook her head. "We weren't really in touch after I left."

Don nodded. "I don't mean to pry into private matters, but we found a letter you wrote to him, as well as several drafts of one from him to you."

"He never sent me a letter," Lisbon said.

"The prevailing theory is that he wasn't dating anyone because he wasn't over you," Don said gently. "But we found some signs of a second person: an extra toothbrush, a woman's razor, that kind of thing. Could they be yours?"

"Maybe," Lisbon said. "I didn't take everything when I left. I had a luggage limit to worry about."

"I'd appreciate it if you'd take a look around and let me know if there really was someone else."

"Sure. Of course." Lisbon sounded like she'd rather have a root canal, but Jane knew she would do it, no matter how awkward or painful it might be. She handed the photo back. "I'm on my way to the morgue next to transfer him to the funeral home, so I'll go to the apartment after that. Is it still an active crime scene?"

"Yes, but you can take a look around. CSU should be done shortly. You might spot something we didn't."

Lisbon nodded, and Jane said, "I assume you've talked to the neighbors?"

"Yes, but he wasn't home much, so none of them seemed to know him well. We haven't found out much about his life outside work."

"He didn't really have one," Lisbon said. "At least, not that I know of. We did things together when I was here, but he didn't much have time to meet new people."

Don nodded. "That fits what we know."

Lisbon said, "So no suspects yet."

"It's early days, as you know," Don replied. "I'll let you know how it goes. And please let us know about the funeral. His team want to attend, of course, as well as the rest of us who knew him."

"I'll let you know. Thanks for your time," Lisbon said, standing.

"Thanks for stopping by. It was good to see you," Don said. "Hey, don't forget to say hi to Joswick and Peters. We all miss you around here."

"Thanks," Lisbon said, managing a smile as she left.

Jane lingered a moment. "I meant what I said. I'd like to help. Sounds like this isn't an open and shut case."

Don gave him a thoughtful look. "Dennis has told me about you. In fact he called yesterday to tell me I'd be an idiot if I didn't let you in on the case, but I might not like your methods."

"I get results," Jane said. He wasn't going to apologize for his methods.

"Can't argue with that. All the same, I'd rather exhaust our conventional methods before getting...creative."

"You know where to find me," Jane said. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise."

mmm

The morgue was the part of the day's itinerary Lisbon most dreaded. It wasn't her favorite place on a good day, but she could handle it. She'd never had to look at someone she cared deeply about in that environment, though. And she was nervous not only about her reaction, but Jane's interpretation of her reaction. She didn't want him to wait outside, though. She wanted him warm and solid beside her. Was that selfish? He didn't like morgues either. Maybe he'd rather wait outside.

"Hey." Jane laid a hand on her shoulder as they paused at the front door. "I want to be here for you, but if you need a few minutes alone, that's okay. You should say goodbye. It will help."

She nodded, too choked up to speak.

Jane took care of communicating with the staff while she gave herself a pep talk. She'd seen so many dead bodies, she'd lost count. She only wanted to look at his face, so she didn't need to see the bullet wounds.

She signed the necessary paperwork first; since the identification had already been confirmed, she simply had to release the body to the funeral home so it—he—could be readied for the viewing and service. She signed where indicated, aware of Jane reading over her shoulder and trusting him to stop her if something wasn't right.

Then it was time. Jane walked beside her, guiding her with a hand on her back, until they went through the last door. He stood aside for her to enter first, as usual, then remained behind her as the attendant brought the body out, his hands on her shoulders. She appreciated his thoughtful comfort, being close to her but allowing her some privacy because he couldn't see her face.

And then she was looking down at Marcus' face for the first time in months. She'd thought her last memory of him was heartbreaking, his face shaded with sorrow and defeat, his eyes glassy with tears. But this was so much worse. Lifeless. She would never hear his voice again or see his smile.

She would never know if he'd forgiven her for breaking his heart.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, reaching out to lay her hand on his cold cheek. He had deserved so much better than she'd been able to give him.

Jane reached for her free hand, pushing something soft into it that after a moment she realized was his handkerchief. She hadn't realized her face was wet until then. Then he squeezed her shoulders, gently kissed the back of her head, and left.

Lisbon had tried to explain herself in the letter she'd left for Marcus, but she wasn't good with words. She didn't know if she'd been able to make him understand.

"I'm sorry," she said again, now that they were alone. "There are so many things I wish I'd done differently. I didn't deserve for you to love me, and you didn't deserve for me to love somebody else more." She paused, wiping at her face. "I know that doesn't matter to you now," she added, choking on a sob. "And I know I can't make it up to you. But I promise, I promise I'm going to find who did this. They won't get away with it."

She breathed through her anger at the killer, who'd stolen such a promising life and robbed her of whatever forgiveness he might someday have offered her. Then she said a quick prayer for Marcus' soul, for strength for herself, and for continued understanding from Jane.

She did not pray for forgiveness for hurting Marcus; she wouldn't do that until she felt she deserved it.

"I'll take care of everything," she promised him. "Just the way you'd want. I'll do my best for you."

She bent and kissed his forehead. "I'm sorry," she said, one last time.

Then she turned and went to get on with things. She had promises to keep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **Thanks so much to those of you who've reviewed—reading your thoughts on what I've written really keeps me going! I know I promised action in this chapter, and someone does get punched, but this is turning out to be a more contemplative story than I originally thought. I hope I'm not disappointing anyone who was all set for a thriller. Though we may get there yet. My muse likes to think of herself as Jane's kindred spirit—she only tells me what she thinks I need to know at the moment. :)

**Chapter 4**

Jane found that he liked the neighborhood where Lisbon had lived. Clarendon was a vital urban area, full of shops and restaurants coming to life as evening began. There were little parks here and there and lots of pedestrians, mostly younger people. It seemed an odd choice for a forty-something couple, but then Jane realized it wasn't just young people, but young families. There were strollers everywhere. This was a neighborhood Pike and Lisbon had chosen not only for their present life, but for their future. They'd planned to start a family here.

It made him realize that maybe he really was moving too slowly. He hadn't wanted to spook his commitment-phobic Lisbon, but she'd already bought into the concept with Pike. Maybe she really was ready.

He'd propose as soon as they got home. He wouldn't do it here because she was focused on Pike, but he wouldn't put it off any longer than it took them to wrap things up in DC.

The morgue and funeral home over with, Lisbon seemed to be feeling better. But then, she was ticking things off her long to-do list, and she was always happiest when she felt productive. Plus, there wasn't anyone they'd have to deal with after the building management let them in. It would be just the two of them, which was always easier.

The manager was subdued, apologizing for the security camera lapse and offering his condolences. Lisbon was polite but distracted, and Jane examined the man closely for signs of deception. Finding none, he tried to put him more at ease.

"Thank you," he said after the manager unlocked the door. "We appreciate your help."

The manager nodded. "Let me know if there's anything else we can do. We really hope you find whoever did this. Nothing like this has ever happened here. Everyone's a little, um, on edge."

Jane nodded. "Of course. We'll let you know if we need anything."

Lisbon had already gone inside, so Jane hurried to follow her, closing the door behind him. He found himself in a modestly sized living room with a sliding glass door opening onto a small balcony with a nice view down the street. The furnishings were simple and masculine, and the walls were bare except for a framed jersey. The single bookcase held mostly art books and crime manuals, interspersed with a few art history texts. Reading for business, not pleasure. It reminded him a bit of Lisbon's Sacramento place.

Lisbon turned to the low TV cabinet along the door wall, sort of a waist-high sideboard taken up almost entirely by the big screen. But in the corner nearest the door was a small ceramic bowl that held keys. "He was in for the night," Lisbon murmured, picking up the keys with a pensive expression.

"Anything out of place?" Jane asked. It was a little cluttered, but not messy, and reasonably clean. Marcus had been a good roommate for Lisbon, it seemed.

Lisbon looked around. "No. It, uh, hasn't changed much. He wasn't home enough to decorate."

"Could robbery have been a motive? Did he keep cash here? Guns?'

"Some, yeah." Lisbon led the way to the kitchen, stretching up to reach a pitcher on top of the cupboards. Jane quickly moved to help her, tipping out a roll of cash. Lisbon counted it. "Nothing's missing. If it was robbery, they didn't look very hard."

Given that the killer hadn't checked to make sure Pike was dead, Jane had figured all along it wasn't a planned operation by a career criminal, but this line of thought was helping Lisbon focus. He was worried by the way her eyes kept going to the bloody carpet near the couch.

Next, she went into a small room with a desk and computer, opening the closet and taking a lockbox down from the shelf. She knew the combination and opened it to reveal a handgun. "His personal weapon's here. Since he was in for the night, his FBI issue one should be in the nightstand, unless the FBI took it already."

Jane said, "So he wasn't expecting trouble when he answered the door."

"No," she agreed. "It was either someone who lived here or someone he buzzed in. So he probably knew them."

"So the question is," Jane said, "whom did he know outside of work?"

Lisbon objected, "It could have been someone from work."

"No FBI agent shoots that badly," Jane said.

"Not an agent, but maybe support staff, or even someone he questioned as part of a case. An informant maybe."

"Could be," Jane mused. It didn't feel right, though. Something about this smelled of a relationship gone wrong. "Can we check the bathroom? See if the stuff Don mentioned is yours?"

"Yeah." Lisbon went into the bathroom and checked the shower, then the medicine cabinet. "Oh."

Aha, Jane thought. "Not yours?"

"No." Lisbon held up a small cosmetics bag. "Not my brand."

"So he was seeing someone, seriously enough for her to sleep over more than once. What timeline does that suggest?" Jane wondered. Pike moved fast; it was possible, given that his colleagues didn't know about the mystery woman, he'd only known her a matter of weeks. Or less.

Lisbon flushed unhappily. "I, uh, we started sleeping over the second week. So it could have been pretty new."

Jane nodded, carefully not commenting on this new piece of information about a relationship that was almost entirely a mystery to him. He felt it was better not to know too much, then and now. "So we need to find out who she is. And why she hasn't come forward or tried to contact him. We should look at his personal email."

Lisbon looked even more unhappy. "The FBI has already done that."

Hm. He wasn't the only one not wanting to know too much about another relationship. "I'll do it if you help me with the password. At a minimum, we need to find out who to notify about the funeral."

She bit her lip, then sighed. "Okay."

Pike hadn't bothered to change his computer password, and Lisbon didn't have to guess it. Jane wondered if that was carelessness or a recognition of Lisbon's utter trustworthiness.

"Thanks," Jane said, sliding into the desk chair as she vacated it.

"Let's pull his address book first," Lisbon said. "I'll start making calls, since we have a date and time for the service."

Jane clicked where she indicated, and soon she had a printout of names and numbers. "Do you know these people?"

"Some, or at least know of them. Melinda is his ex. Tim was one of his college roommates."

"Do those first. I can help with the ones you don't know," Jane offered.

Lisbon ruffled his hair affectionately as she left the room. "Thanks, but I have a lot of experience with this kind of thing. I got it."

A moment later, he heard the bedroom door close. Of course she wanted privacy for those conversations, he chided himself as he felt a twinge of unhappiness. He had plenty to do anyway.

Pike's personal email was mostly junk. There were e-cards from his birthday a couple of months back that he'd kept, plus notes from friends. They were all in his contact list, including a note from tlisbon99. Jane felt only a moment's guilt as he opened it, comforted as he saw it was short and to the point:

_Dear Marcus,  
Happy birthday! I wish you all the happiness in the world, and I hope someday you can forgive me._

_Best wishes,  
Teresa_

Marcus hadn't replied, Jane noticed. Did that mean he'd died angry with her? Did she know that? He hoped not. Guilt like that was a terrible thing to carry through life, as he knew very well. He was positive Angela had died hating him, blaming him for bringing such a horror into their lives. How could she not have?

He had no idea how Lisbon had managed to coax him into slowly healing despite his best intentions, but he needed to devote some thought to it so he could return the favor.

There was no sign of a mystery girlfriend; if she'd wished him happy birthday it must have been by phone or in person. But probably she had arrived in his life after his birthday, which was only a couple of weeks after Lisbon had left. And she apparently wasn't big on email, which he could understand. If she'd texted, that would be on Pike's cell, which the FBI had.

If she'd stayed over enough to keep makeup here, there must be other traces of her. He didn't want to disturb Lisbon, so he couldn't go through the bedroom closet, but maybe the kitchen?

The refrigerator was enlightening. It was possible Pike was into low-fat fruity yogurts and pomegranate juice, but Jane deemed it unlikely. Also unlikely he had bought the quart of triple chocolate fudge swirl frozen yogurt in the freezer, with a sell-by date that indicated it wasn't left there by Lisbon.

The cupboards contained a depressing array of granola snacks and cereal, ryebread crackers and organic almond butter, and a high end bottle of balsamic vinegar probably meant for the wilting salad greens in the fridge.

He was losing weight just looking at this kitchen. No wonder Lisbon had wasted away living here.

Oh, but that assumed the diet food was Pike's, not the girlfriend's. Some of it, maybe, but not all of it, surely. And not the frozen yogurt. He'd double check with Lisbon, but—

Aha! The junk food stash, hidden away on the top shelf. Doritos, potato chips, a jar of queso dip with tortilla chips, and salted cashews. Pike was evidently a savory enthusiast rather than having a sweet tooth, which supported his theory about the ice cream.

Wandering out to the living room, Jane inspected the bookcase and spied something tucked in a corner. It was a plugin air freshener, and a sniff revealed it to be hydrangea scented. Jane grimaced a bit at the sweetness. Definitely not something he could envision Pike buying.

A sound at the door caught his attention, and he straightened and turned as it opened to reveal a petite blonde in a dark skirt and white shirt with a colorful scarf. She tossed her keys into the bowl with the ease of habit and kicked off her high heeled pumps, then gasped as she saw Jane.

"It's all right—" he started to assure her as she reached into her purse and pulled out a can of pepper spray. "Really, no need for that. My name is —"

The woman was looking around nervously, and she let out a muffled cry, her free hand covering her mouth, as she saw the bloodstain on the carpet. "Oh my God!"

Jane noted the slight Southern accent automatically as she rounded on him in fury. "Where's Marcus? What did you do to him?"

"Nothing. I'm with the FBI," Jane hurried to explain.

"Oh my God. Is he—is he—" Her big blue eyes started to fill with tears.

Jane softened his voice. "I'm afraid so. I'm very sorry."

She dropped the pepper spray, to his relief, and then threw herself into his arms, to his dismay. His discomfort increased exponentially when she began to sob loudly.

"There, there," he said, patting her back awkwardly. He strained to hear if Lisbon had noticed anything amiss, but she didn't emerge. She might be in the middle of an emotional conversation.

Lisbon still had his handkerchief, but he'd packed a spare for today, so he handed the mystery girlfriend that one. She clutched it in her hand but kept soaking his shirt. He only hoped she wasn't leaving mascara stains as well.

After the Tiffani incident, the last thing he wanted was for Lisbon to find him plastered with blonde, especially since she was already having a very emotional day. He needed to get this woman talking so she'd compose herself. "Did you know him long?"

"S-six m-months," she sobbed.

Jane frowned. She and Pike would have had to meet almost the moment he'd moved to DC. Could he have cheated on Lisbon? Surely not.

"Where did you meet?" he asked, gently stepping back while holding her in place.

"Work." She wiped at her face with the handkerchief. Jane was glad to note that her mascara was waterproof.

"You work together?"

She shook her head. "I work for TransWorld Airlines. He flies a lot. To Europe mostly. I get the Paris run a lot."

"Ah." So he'd met this woman while living with Lisbon but probably hadn't dated her until after. "I'm Patrick, by the way." He gave her his best reassuring smile.

She mustered a tremulous one. "Hi. I'm Amy. Amy Richardson."

"Nice to meet you, Amy. Can I make you some tea?"

"No, I—" Amy broke off as the door to the bedroom opened and Lisbon emerged.

"It's okay," Jane said. "She's my partner."

"What were you doing in our bedroom?" Amy demanded.

Lisbon's eyebrows went up. "Your bedroom?"

"I live here. Well, as soon as I find time to move," Amy said.

Jane added, "This is Amy Richardson. Amy, this is Teresa Lisbon."

"I'm sorry for your—" Lisbon began, then ducked as Amy tried to punch her in the face.

Jane immediately grabbed Amy, pulling her out of reach as Lisbon raised a hand to her cheek, red where the other woman's fist had grazed it. She looked stunned.

"Bitch!" Amy shrieked. "You have no right to be here after what you did to him! You broke his heart! Get out!"

Jane pushed Amy back a step, a little more roughly than he meant to. Crouching to look her in the eye, he summoned his most compelling voice. "Amy. You need to calm down. Deep breaths. In, and out. In. And out."

Amy burst into tears again. "I don't need to calm down. I need her to get out of my home. I need to know what happened. And I need Marcus!"

She flung herself at Jane again, and he cast a worried glance at Lisbon over her head.

Lisbon was obviously upset, but she was hanging onto her professional demeanor with both hands. "I'll call Don," she said quietly, then stepped out into the hall.

Once she was gone, Jane applied himself to calming down the no-longer-mystery woman, as well as calming down himself. His heart was still pounding from the burst of primal rage he'd felt when Amy had hit Lisbon. He wanted to strangle her, or at least insist that Lisbon arrest her for assaulting a federal agent.

But mostly he wanted to go hold Lisbon until that stricken look in her eyes went away.

mmm

Lisbon waited in the hall until one of Don's agents showed up. He was a young man she didn't recognize, but he gave her a friendly smile. "Agent Lisbon? I'm John Dunn. You found the girlfriend?"

"She found us. She's living here, sort of. She's in there with Jane. Can you tell him I'll be on the roof?" Considering Amy's state of mind, Lisbon felt it was better they didn't meet again. She didn't want to make it harder for the FBI to get information from Amy on the off chance that Jane hadn't already gotten her life story. By now he could probably list her childhood pets and grade school teachers.

"Will do. Thanks."

Lisbon made her escape to the elevators, and a short ride later, she was pushing open the glass door to the little roof garden. She'd always liked it up here, especially when the apartment felt lonely. She could watch the activity below, all the happy families, and hope that someday she'd have that. A lot of those nights ended with her deciding to accept Marcus' proposal, but somehow when he came home again she could never quite say the words to his face. Now she knew why: her heart had still been set on Jane.

She had made some terrible mistakes, but she couldn't truly blame herself for trying to have what she wanted. She'd waited for Jane, after all, without seeing any sign that he ever intended to move on or wanted anything other than friendship from her. Was it so awful to want a better future for herself than more years of hopeless longing?

She would have made it work if Jane hadn't finally confessed that he wanted to be with her, she assured herself. She would have married Marcus and done her best to get pregnant. There would have been happiness in that life, even if the longing never completely vanished. She hadn't lied to Marcus, or tricked him, or tried to hurt him.

There was no denying she had, though. Amy had a right to judge her harshly for that. She would feel the same way in her place.

The door opened behind her, and a moment later Jane's hands were on her arms, turning her gently so he could look at her face. "You okay?" he asked softly.

"Yeah. She barely made contact. I saw it coming," Lisbon assured him.

"Mm." Jane touched his fingertips to her cheek, ever so lightly. But it was enough to make her wince. "We should get some ice on that."

Then he pulled her into his arms, holding her against him and swaying a little. She slid her arms around his waist and held on tightly, grateful for his comfort.

"Thanks for distracting her," she murmured into his chest. She had yet to meet a woman who could resist that mesmerizing stare of his.

"I wanted to strangle her," he admitted. "But I realized you'd be very, very cranky if you had to arrest me instead of her."

Lisbon let out a brief chuckle. "Yeah. Cranky doesn't even begin to describe it." But she was glad he hadn't felt the need for any macho posturing. It would have made things worse for sure.

"You okay?" He asked again, running his fingers through her hair.

"Mm hm." More okay by the minute, in fact. There was something wonderfully restorative about being held by him.

"Yeah," he sighed after a moment. "Guess you can't really be upset about him moving on so quickly, can you?"

"That would be really hypocritical," she pointed out.

"It would be. It would also be totally natural."

She sighed against him. "You'd make a great therapist, you know that?"

"Meh. I wouldn't be able to resist my mischievous impulses. Besides, I'm not interested in listening to other people's problems. Only yours."

"Mm. Sweet." She kissed his jaw and stepped back. "If it's safe for me to go back in there, we should get back to work."

"Agent Dunn let Amy know she should stay at her own place from now on. She handed over her keys after I promised I'd meet her here tomorrow afternoon so she can get her stuff."

"Thank you." Lisbon headed for the door, but Jane caught her hand and tugged her to a stop. "What?"

"No more work today. You've had enough."

She rolled her eyes at him. "I'm a big girl, Jane. I'm fine. I still have some calls to make."

"Make them tomorrow. If you haven't had enough, I have."

"You have?" She was annoyed, but also worried. She wanted his help; he wasn't walking out, was he?

He gave her an intense, heart-melting look, his voice soft and gravelly. "Yes. I can't watch you hurt anymore today. We're going back to the hotel and put some ice on your poor cheek. Then we're going to order a lovely dinner and see if there's anything worth watching on TV. We're going to relax and try to appreciate our case-free time together, and tomorrow we will go back to dealing with Marcus' affairs."

"Jane—" She broke off in frustration. What he was suggesting was exactly what she wanted to do, but she still had three or four people to call.

"Teresa."

His use of her first name reminded her that this was not actually her job. It was personal business, and the remaining names on the list were people Marcus had never mentioned, so hopefully they weren't close friends. Maybe, just this once, she could go easy on herself.

"Okay, Patrick," she said. The smile he gave her was an immediate reward.

mmm

Lying on the luxuriously soft bed in their hotel room with her stomach full of the best Lad Na she'd had in ages, Lisbon felt almost content. Jane tried to pamper her on a regular basis, but he was usually short of time and she wasn't always in the mood. And as much as she tried to tell herself she'd given in partly for his sake, the truth was she'd needed a break. Sometimes he really did know her better than she knew herself.

She could forgive him for telling her what to do when it turned out this well.

Jane finished throwing away the cartons in the bathroom and returned, smiling at her yawn. "I was going to ask if you felt like going in search of ice cream, but I think I have my answer."

"Maybe tomorrow," she said. "Come lie down with me, please."

Smiling, he took off his jacket and shoes and crawled onto the bed, snuggling into her open arms with a happy little hum.

It took so little to make him happy, she reflected. And she didn't go out of her way to think up things that would make him smile, like he did for her. Was she the greedy one in this relationship? She'd spent far more time thinking about making Marcus happy than she did Jane. Wasn't that wrong?

Yes, she thought, suddenly gloomy. She needed to do better.

"Hey," Jane whispered into her hair, "what's wrong?"

"You're so good to me," she said, hesitating as she tried to figure out how to voice her fear.

Jane slid an arm under her so he could wrap her in a hug. "I try to be. I was so bad to you for so long. You have no idea how guilty I feel about that."

"It's not...I'm not keeping score," she assured him.

"Yes, you are," he said. "But you're doing it all wrong."

"Oh, I am, am I?"

"Mm hm. Your timeline is too short. Think back to when we met. To pick just one example, how many times did I make you fear for your job? How many suspensions?"

"A lot," she said. She'd stopped counting years ago.

"How many times did you straighten up your house, doing anything to keep busy, because you were determined not to shed a tear over goddamned Patrick Jane? At least once a week during the bad times, I bet."

She made a noncommittal noise. "Okay. Point taken. You're a horrible person who doesn't deserve to be treated well."

"Now you're getting it." She could hear the smile in his voice.

"But you're not. Leaving aside the argument about your character for a minute, how I treat you shouldn't depend on how you treat me. I should treat you well because I'm a loving and kind person. No other reason."

Jane whistled. "That's some high bar you've got there, Saint Teresa. So you're worried you're not a loving and kind person? I could fill a stadium with people who'd take issue with that."

"Maybe if you paid them," she said wryly.

"Now you're just being contrary," Jane complained. "One ex-boyfriend's grief-crazed fiancée does not speak for the rest of us."

He had a point, she had to admit. But wait. What? "Fiancée?"

Jane hesitated. "Yeah," he said, sounding a little surprised. "You didn't see the ring? I'm glad she used her right hand to hit you, or you might have a nasty cut."

"I, uh, didn't spend much time with her," Lisbon muttered. "He was engaged?"

"Proposed a month ago. They hadn't set a date yet, but they were thinking about New Year's." Jane paused, no doubt editing himself.

Lisbon was surprised, but she told herself she shouldn't be. Marcus wanted a family. He'd found a woman he wanted to be with, so why wait? He'd told her his feelings on that subject when he'd asked her to move to DC with him.

"She was a flight attendant he saw when he traveled," Jane said after a moment. "Paris and Rome mostly. After you left they started going out for drinks, then dinner, then...well. Romantic cities are hard to bear when you have a broken heart. What better cure than to jump headlong into another affaire de coeur?"

Jane was full of shit, she thought. He'd been faithful to his dead wife for close to thirteen years. And though she knew that guilt and fear had played as important a role as fidelity, she still couldn't imagine him simply moving on. Not that she'd wanted Marcus to stay hung up on her, but...he could at least have emailed her about the engagement, let her know she hadn't broken his heart too badly.

"I'm...I'm glad he found someone," she said. That was true. She had Jane, and she was happy. She wished everyone she cared about could be happy, too. Marcus finding joy and love before he died was something to celebrate.

"When she's had a chance to digest everything," Jane said, "you might consider bringing her in on what to do with his things."

"It'd be hard to get anything done if she's going to try to hit me every time we meet," Lisbon said.

"You leave that to me," Jane said firmly. "I'll have her apologizing to you by the end of the day. She should be the one dealing with everything. It's just bad luck Pike didn't get around to changing his will."

Aha. Jane was plotting to get her out of what he regarded as a stressful imposition. "Legally, I still have to make the decisions."

"Yes, but she can be part of that, can't she? Share the work a bit? It would help her heal, most likely," he pointed out.

"Maybe." Lisbon didn't think she and Amy were ever going to like each other, but it was possible they might be able to work together to ensure all Marcus' things were distributed as he'd want. Lisbon had been thinking of donating to charity any money left after things were settled, but maybe Amy should have it. Surely that's what he would have done if he'd had a chance to rewrite his will?

"You don't have to decide tonight. The funeral isn't until day after tomorrow." Jane kissed the top of her head. "Shall we see what else is on? I've had my fill of sitcoms."

"Turn it off," she suggested, nuzzling his neck.

He stiffened a little in surprise, then turned off the television, tossed the remote onto the nightstand, and began dropping light little kisses across her face. "I love you," he breathed.

"I love you," she replied. "And I'm so thankful for you. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be, and I want to make you happy too."

"Teresa," he chided, pulling back to look at her. "How could you doubt it? Every morning I wake up with you is a gift. Every smile, every 'I love you', every time you say my first name makes me so happy I can't express it all. Every time you touch me with tenderness, I feel like the luckiest man alive." His voice dropped into a low tone that went straight through her. "And when I'm inside you, I know I'm where I'm meant to be."

Lisbon leaned up to kiss him, her fingers starting on the buttons of his shirt, needing to feel him skin to skin. After a moment, he began returning the favor.

Between kisses, he murmured, "Don't be jealous when you see Amy's ring. I'm going to buy you a better one."

Like she cared about the ring. "It's not a contest."

Jane chuckled, and she knew he disagreed. "Maybe not." He kissed her thoroughly before helping her out of her blouse. "But it's one you'll win regardless."

"You're so competitive," she teased, pushing his shirt off his shoulders.

He grinned. "I don't hear you complaining when I set out to break a record in bed."

"Or the bed," she agreed, remembering the fate of the one she'd moved to Austin from Washington state. Though she bet that had been deliberate; Jane was not only competitive, but territorial. He hadn't liked sleeping in a bed that he knew another man had slept with her in, even if he'd never said so.

"No bed breaking tonight," he assured her. "Tonight I want sweet and slow."

"Gentleman's choice," she smiled.

As she fell asleep three orgasms later, she remembered to say a prayer for Amy, doubtless crying herself to sleep tonight. And she prayed that if the day had to come when she lost Jane, it would be far, far in the future.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **Thanks to those of you still with me on this!

**Chapter 5**

Jane woke suddenly, disturbed by a sound it took him a moment to identify. Rolling over, he found Lisbon on her stomach, her face buried in the pillow muffling her distressed moans. He lifted a strand of hair from her face and saw her eyes moving beneath her lids, caught in the grip of a nightmare.

"Ssh, Teresa," he whispered, kissing her forehead. "It's all right."

She heaved in a breath and woke, startled, eyes wide and wet. He rubbed her back as she focused on him, the anguish in her expression fading as she focused on him.

"Bad one?" he asked. Nightmares weren't uncommon for them, and he wasn't surprised recent events had given her subconscious new material to work with.

"Mm hm." She wiped at her eyes.

Jane put his arms around her and settled her against him, holding her and whispering the words she used to comfort him when he was the one trembling and gasping after night terrors. "I'm here. You're safe. We're together. Everything's going to be all right."

Gradually her grip on him loosened as she calmed. He kissed her gently, asking, "Do you want to tell me about it?"

She shook her head, which didn't surprise him. He didn't like to talk about his either. And he didn't really want to hear that she was dreaming of Pike, even though he was dead.

Glancing at the clock, he decided it wasn't too early to start thinking about breakfast. Or at least caffeine. The single serve coffee machine in their room would cheer her up, though he would have to go farther afield for a decent cup of tea. Or possibly order room service. Lisbon wasn't a morning person on a good day, and he bet today she'd be reluctant to leave their loving cocoon and face what the day held in store.

She wasn't nearly calm enough for him to let go of her, though. He'd wait until her heart rate went back to normal.

"Promise you'll be careful," she murmured.

Jane was taken aback. Maybe she hadn't dreamed about Pike's death after all. "I'm always careful," he replied.

She thumped him painfully on the chest. "No, you're not. You're always inciting people to punch you or hold you at gunpoint, or just pissing them off. Someday you're going to do it to the wrong person and they'll wait until I'm not around and come after you." Her fingernails dug into his skin. "I don't want to come home and find you dead on the floor."

Like Pike. No, she hadn't dreamt of her ex-lover at all. Her mind had conjured up one of her worst fears instead.

"I promise I'll be more careful," he whispered into her ear. He would never wish his own trauma on her. "I plan to have many, many years waking up with you. When we're both old and grey, I'll scandalize the staff in our swanky retirement facility by chasing you around the rec room so I can grope you."

Lisbon gave a watery chuckle. "When you're not spitting out your pills or stealing the keys to the kitchen pantry so you can make a proper cup of tea."

"I'll be a charming old scamp."

"That's one way to describe you," she said, trying for a wry tone. "I'm sure you'll charm the female staff into overlooking all your misbehavior."

"My charm I spend liberally, but my love is only for you," Jane assured her. "Coffee?"

"Mm," she sighed. "Do we have to get up?"

"No." He stroked her hair soothingly. "Go back to sleep if you want to."

Lisbon let out a contented sigh, shifting to throw a leg over him as if to hold him in place, and soon fell back to sleep.

Jane stayed awake, thinking. Lisbon was such a balm to him that it was easy to forget she was a damaged soul too. Her damage was simply less visible than his. It went just as deep, though, and he was responsible for more of it than he could bear to calculate. And as obsessive as he was about her safety, he often forgot that she was just as desperate to keep him safe. He wasn't the only one who'd be lost if this relationship ended, especially if it involved a sudden, tragic death.

Pike's death had brought that fear into the light for her. He would take precautions, then. At least they weren't on a case here, so he only needed to worry about everyday dangers.

He pressed a lingering kiss into her hair and whispered, "I'll be here for you, Lisbon. I promise."

mmm

Lisbon wasn't looking forward to the day, but eventually she had to get up and face it. After an extravagant room service breakfast, Jane convinced her to go for a stroll to take a look at the historic Old Town. He got a particular kick out of a cobblestone street whose rough surface had been laid by Hessian prisoners of war during Revolutionary times. She was always amazed at the things that caught his attention.

Then she sent him out on his own while she made her remaining calls and then tried to work on a eulogy. By the time he returned, though, she had only managed to waste several sheets of the hotel stationery.

"Amy should give the eulogy," Jane said when he looked at the wastebasket. "I'll talk to her about it when I see her."

"Oh, by all means have a chat with Amy," she retorted, frustrated. Her cheek still hurt, but she wasn't going to admit it. Being taken off guard like that was embarrassing.

"Hey," Jane said gently. She grimaced, hating that he was being so careful with her, like she was fragile. "I'm only seeing her so you don't have to. And to make sure she doesn't cause a scene at the funeral tomorrow."

"I know."

"You'll feel better if we go get some things done," he suggested. "Why don't we go pack some things up? We should at least get rid of the perishables and get the non-perishables to a food bank."

"Sounds good. Though maybe we should wait until Amy gets her things, in case some of it's hers?"

"Meh. It's not like she'll have a strong emotional attachment to almond butter," Jane shrugged. "Or the dishes. Probably not the towels either—those could go to a homeless shelter, unless they're too beat up, in which case they go to the animal shelter. Since she hadn't moved in yet, there's plenty we can get done without worrying about offending her."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Lisbon sighed. She was pretty sure Amy was offended by her very existence.

"Okay. We can leave that for later if you like. I'll, uh, leave you to your eulogy writing, then."

"No, wait." She got up from the desk and faced him. "You're good with words. I don't know what I'm doing. How...how would you do this?"

Jane sighed, looking past her for a moment. "His coworkers will talk about what a good agent he was. His friends will share their favorite memories. Which category do you want to be in?"

"Friend."

"Okay. You don't need to tell me, but think about what comes into your head when I say: fun with Marcus."

An evening playing a very bad game of mini-golf came to mind. She hadn't laughed so hard in years.

"Good," Jane said. "Open with that. Tell them how he made you feel, how you enjoyed his company."

"I can't say that to a room full of people who know I left him," she protested.

"Yes, you can. It's all true, isn't it? No matter what happened later." Seeing she wasn't convinced, he added, "If you feel you need to address how your relationship ended, just say you're so glad he found happiness again, because he was a good man who deserved to be happy."

Lisbon nodded.

"It doesn't have to be long," Jane continued. "Invite everyone to say a few words if they'd like."

"I was planning to."

"Excellent. Well, now that that's taken care of, let's see some more of the sights before my appointment." He smiled hopefully at her.

mmm

Jane enjoyed Mount Vernon enormously. Aside from its historical significance as George Washington's home, the estate was beautiful. The fall air was bracing but not quite cool, and he coaxed Lisbon into sitting for a while in the chairs provided on the back porch overlooking the Potomac River, delighted when she began to relax. He reached for her hand and held it, content just to be here with her enjoying the view while school groups trooped past.

When his stomach started to growl, he reluctantly got up, and they strolled back out to the parkway. There was a bus stop there, and they caught a bus back to Huntington station, then took the Metro to King Street. Today they had time for a nice lunch at a lovely little French place, and then Jane walked Lisbon back to the hotel, kissing her on the sidewalk. "I'll call you when she's gone," he said.

"Be careful," she replied, frowning a little.

"Don't worry," he smiled. "Call or text me if you do, though. No need to torture yourself with worst case scenarios."

"Gee, I wonder where I got the idea that you attract trouble?" she teased, smiling a little before kissing him back. "See you in an hour or two."

"You'll find that eulogy comes to you easily now," he said, planting the suggestion now that she'd relaxed.

"I hope so." She smiled at him, then went into the hotel.

Jane waited until she was safely in the lobby, then headed back to the Metro. He got to Pike's apartment building a little after two, in plenty of time for his two-thirty appointment with Amy.

A friendly young couple were moving in, and he helped carry a few things for them in return for a promise of boxes after they were unpacked. One less thing for Lisbon to worry about, he congratulated himself. They could begin inventorying and packing this afternoon. Then there was the funeral tomorrow, and they needed to go down to the circuit court to begin probate. But getting everything moved out of the apartment so the estate didn't have to keep paying rent was a priority. Lisbon would take her stewardship of Pike's slender means even more seriously now that she intended the money to go to Amy, even though the two women disliked each other.

That was one of the many things he admired about her: she never let her emotions get in the way of doing the right thing.

Amy was five minutes late, her makeup unable to hide the fact that she'd spent most of the night crying.

"Hi," she said as he let her in, taking the empty carry-on she was pulling. "Thanks. And, um, I wanted to say I'm sorry for hitting your partner. Marcus told me that's a, uh, strong bond."

Jane nodded. "It is. And we've worked together a very long time. But I want to make sure you understand, Amy: Teresa is not just my FBI partner. We're living together. I plan to marry her."

"Oh." Amy's eyes went round. "You're the one—"

"Yes. I'm the reason she left Marcus. Please come sit down; I want to explain how that was my fault, not hers." He was pretty sure that since she already viewed him as a sympathetic ally, it would be safe to transfer her animosity onto him.

They settled at the small table outside the kitchen; Jane made a mental note to find out which cleaning service the FBI recommended to get the bloodstain out of the beige carpet. Or maybe the building would prefer to re-carpet. He'd talk to the manager first.

"Tea?" he offered.

Amy shook her head. "No, thanks. So you're her boyfriend?"

"What you need to understand is that I have a very hard time letting people close to me. My family was murdered by a serial killer after I talked about him on television."

"Oh!" She covered her mouth as she gasped in shock.

So Pike hadn't gone into the whole background story. No wonder she was judging Lisbon harshly. "And then he toyed with me for a decade while I hunted for him. Anyone I got close to was at risk. Especially Teresa. I tried very hard to hide my feelings from everyone, even her, to keep her safe. And it was a hard habit to break. Almost impossible, in fact. So when she and Marcus got close, I encouraged her to do what would make her happy. And I let her move to DC without ever telling her how I felt."

"Why?"

Jane shrugged. "I thought she'd be happy. I didn't think I could make her happy."

"And then you realized you could?" Amy was transfixed by his story. She was a romantic, as he'd figured she must be to get engaged so quickly. She was probably also a fixer, since she'd fallen for a man she'd known was on the rebound.

"No," Jane admitted ruefully. "I still worry about that. But I realized how miserable I was without her. So I told her how I felt. And she thought it over and talked to Marcus. In the end she decided she had to give us a chance because she'd loved me so long. It was a risk, because Marcus was a good, stable man. He treated her well, whereas I didn't have a great track record in that area. It wasn't an easy decision, and she felt terrible about hurting him. She still does."

"She should," Amy muttered.

"We both do," Jane said. That was perhaps an exaggeration, but he did regret that Pike had suffered for his own mistakes. Not nearly as much as he regretted hurting Lisbon, though. "So now you know it was my fault, not hers. I didn't give her the information she needed to make her decision."

"But she shouldn't have dated him knowing she was hung up on you."

"Well." Jane agreed with this but had no intention of saying so. "She was trying to get over me, since it seemed hopeless. Unrequited love is a terrible thing."

Amy looked unconvinced, but she didn't say anything. Jane decided to move on to his next objective. "We are hoping you'll speak at the funeral."

"Oh...I...I don't know," she said, looking at him in trepidation. "I'm afraid I'll cry too much to talk."

"Everyone will understand, whatever you decide," Jane said. "The floor will be open to everyone, so you don't have to decide now. Teresa asked her priest to officiate at the graveside, but the service at the funeral home is non-religious. Marcus didn't go to church, did he?"

She shook her head. "He was raised Presbyterian but it didn't stick. I grew up Baptist, but with my schedule it's hard to get to church. That sounds fine."

"Any favorite flowers or other things we should incorporate?" If he could get her to feel partly responsible for the service, she'd be less likely to give Lisbon a hard time there.

She shook her head. "He used to bring me red roses, but that's because I love them. Oh. I should have some flowers sent, shouldn't I?"

Jane handed her a piece of paper. "This is the funeral home information. Give them a call and they can help you."

Amy looked at the contact information, wiping her eyes. Jane gave her a moment, then said, "Well, let's get started, if you're ready."

mmm

In the next hour and a half, Jane learned more about Marcus Pike than he ever wanted to know. Amy couldn't stop talking about him, and everything down to the brand of soap in the bathroom reminded her of a story. While normally he was avidly curious about people, he appreciated Lisbon's reticence about her former lover. There were some images he simply did not need in his head.

At last, Amy had gone through the entire apartment and retrieved all her belongings. Jane walked her to the door with a sense of relief. "See you tomorrow," he said.

"Thanks for everything, Patrick." She gave him a hug, and he grimaced at her flowery perfume. Then she gave him a kiss on the cheek and left.

Jane sighed as he went into the bathroom. Yes, she'd not only made sure Lisbon would smell her on him, but she'd left a big lipstick print on his cheek. What was this, junior high? He scrubbed his face, successfully removing the lipstick, and then called Lisbon. "The coast is clear," he said when she picked up.

"I'm at the office," she replied. "Someone sent Marcus' unit a funeral arrangement with a card saying this is only the beginning. They think it's from a gang of art thieves who've been working their way up the East Coast. Marcus shot and killed one of their guys during a bust gone bad a few weeks ago."

"Ah." Jane absorbed this news thoughtfully. It didn't square with the sloppy kill, though. "Do you want to stay there and I'll get started packing?"

"No. There's nothing I can do here," she said reluctantly. "I'll be right there."

"Take your time. I'll go get our boxes and start on the kitchen."

Jane retrieved a dozen moving boxes in good condition from the couple he'd helped earlier, along with some paper to wrap dishes in. He had just finished putting the non-perishable food in the reusable grocery bags he'd found when Lisbon arrived.

"Wow," she said, looking around at the boxes. "You've been busy." She came over to give him a kiss, wrinkling her nose at the perfume that clung to him. "In more ways than one. Did Amy sob all over you again?"

"No, this was on purpose. I had to remove a layer of skin to get the lipstick off my cheek." He rolled his eyes. "I let her have her petty strike at you to get it out of her system. I think she'll behave tomorrow in front of all Pike's friends."

"I hope so," Lisbon grumbled.

"If it bothers you, I could take my shirt off," Jane grinned. "I've got the kitchen if you want to start on the bathroom."

"Mm. I'm going to find the bequest items first," she said. "I want to make sure we put them somewhere safe before we start getting rid of things."

They worked steadily until dinner time. Jane had snacked on the fruit left in the refrigerator earlier, but it was now gone and his stomach was demanding real sustenance.

"Teresa?" he called, straightening up and stretching.

"Yeah?"

He followed her voice back to the bedroom. She was packing up clothes, some of which had brought back memories, to judge from her reddened eyes. "Any thoughts about dinner?"

"No," she replied, folding up a sweater.

"Oh, come on. You must have had a favorite place here."

Lisbon stopped what she was doing, looking at him with a weary expression. "I'm not really hungry."

"Well, I am." He'd get some food into her one way or another. It would be easier if she picked it out, though.

She sighed. "There's a really good Indian place two blocks down."

Ah. He'd get some onion naan and chicken tikka masala and she'd be chowing down in no time. "Excellent. Just the thing. I will be right back."

"Turn left when you leave the building. Two blocks on your right, on the corner," she called after him.

He smiled. She was hungry after all.

mmm

Lisbon's stomach was growling. She hadn't looked to see what time it was when Jane left, but it felt like he'd been gone a long time, so she called him. "Did you get lost?" she asked as he answered.

"Who is this?" a stranger's voice responded.

Lisbon's heart froze in panic. "Special Agent Teresa Lisbon, FBI. Patrick Jane is my partner. What's happened?"

"Blond, slight build, wearing a blue suit?"

_Oh God, please don't let him be dead_, Lisbon prayed desperately. "Yes. Is he okay?"

"He's on the way to the hospital, but he was breathing. Looks like he was mugged and stumbled into the street. Witnesses say he knocked his head against a bus, but someone grabbed him and pulled him back onto the sidewalk."

"Which hospital?" she demanded, heading for the door.

"Virginia Hospital Center. Aha, just found his wallet in the gutter. We didn't see his phone until it rang."

Lisbon was barely listening anymore, intent on getting downstairs to hail a cab. "Thanks," she said, then hung up. She'd find out what happened later; right now she had to get to Jane.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the cliffhanger last time! I wrote as fast as I could, I promise. :)

**Chapter 6**

Lisbon barely remembered to throw some cash at the cab driver before sprinting through the Emergency Room doors, pulling out her badge and slapping it down on the admissions desk. "Patrick Jane," she demanded. "He was brought in a few minutes ago."

"Ma'am—" The nurse began, frowning.

"He might have come in as a John Doe," Lisbon said, grabbing her phone and pulling up Jane's contact information, which included a fairly decent photo of him.

"Oh. Him." The nurse looked at Lisbon for the first time. "He's in X-ray right now. Can you help with his paperwork?"

"Yes, but I'd like to see him immediately," Lisbon persisted.

"I'll let you know as soon as he's back. Meanwhile, fill out as much of this as you can, please."

Lisbon accepted the clipboard with a frown, then took a seat and began filling it out. While she went through Jane's medical history from memory, she dialed his phone. The same voice from before answered, "Hello again, Agent Lisbon."

"I'm sorry, I didn't get your name before," she replied.

"Kendall Walker, Arlington PD. How's Mr. Jane?"

"I haven't been able to see him yet. You said you found his wallet?"

"Yeah. Doesn't look like a mugging to me; there's cash and a credit card still here."

"His ID?"

"Yes, it's here."

"Any chance I can get you to drop it by the hospital?"

"Sure, I'm almost done here. I'll want to get a statement from him if he's able."

"Great. Thank you." Lisbon felt a rush of gratitude.

"See you shortly."

Lisbon quickly finished the paperwork, then dropped it off at the desk. "I'd like to see my partner now," she said firmly. That was something she'd forgotten about DC: there were so many federal agents of various stripes that people were more blasé about the title than other places she'd been.

The door to the ER swung open, and Lisbon moved toward it, intending to slip inside. Instead, she nearly collided with Jane.

"Jane!" she exclaimed, grabbing his arms to steady him as he swayed. "Where are you going?"

"Lisbon!" he said with a slightly strained smile. "Oh, good. I was just going to call you, but I seem to have lost my phone."

He sounded so much like himself that she threw her arms around him in relief, then immediately loosened her grip when he grunted in pain. Leaning back to look at him, she saw the dried blood along his temple and reddened skin that promised to bruise. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Oh, right as rain. Never better." His confident tone was immediately undercut by his knees threatening to give way, however. Lisbon braced herself to hold him up.

Before she could order him back to bed, a nurse caught up to him. "Mr. Jane, I can't believe you were going to leave without saying goodbye," she teased. "Come on. Back to bed."

"I only let Teresa take me to bed," he replied, grinning down at Lisbon.

"Behave," she muttered.

She and the nurse managed to steer Jane back to his bed. Lisbon asked, "Has he been given anything?"

"A painkiller, that's all. I think the rest of it might be adrenaline," the nurse smiled. "The doctor will be along in a moment."

"Thanks." Lisbon settled on the edge of the bed and reached for Jane's hand.

His smile faded as he looked at her. "I'm sorry."

"For?"

"Scaring you. And dropping our dinner under a bus."

She smiled. "I'm just glad you're okay. What happened?"

"It's kind of a blur." He frowned. "I felt a hand in my pocket, so I grabbed. He pushed me off, but I caught his arm long enough to avoid going in front of the bus. I think. It all goes black after that."

"The police found your phone and wallet. It wasn't about money, apparently," she said. She had to focus on the facts, because the what-ifs would make her start screaming.

"Huh. Maybe he wanted Indian food? It smelled really good," he said wistfully.

Leave it to Jane to be thinking about his stomach, she thought. "I'll get you some later," she promised, brushing a stray curl off his forehead. His skin was warm and soft, and she had a flashback to Marcus' cold, still face in the morgue. She nearly choked trying not to sob.

"Hey." Jane laid a hand on her cheek. "I'm fine, Teresa. I'm okay."

"Yeah," she whispered, trying to get herself back under control. She laid a hand gently over his heart, comforted by its steady thump.

They were silent for a moment, until they were joined by a harassed looking doctor who nonetheless managed a smile when she saw them. "Ah, Mr. Jane, I see you found a friend."

Jane smiled back. "She found me. Doctor Alonso, this is my partner, Special Agent Teresa Lisbon."

Lisbon managed a smile. "How is he, Doctor?"

"Surprisingly well," was the reply, directed at Jane. "Your skull's intact, and that shoulder should be fine now that it's not dislocated anymore. You're going to be pretty sore for a while, though. And I'd like to keep you overnight for observation, in case of concussion."

Jane grimaced. "There's no need for that."

"I can wake him every so often to check," Lisbon volunteered. "I'd like to take him back to our hotel."

Doctor Alonso said, "That would be even better. I'll—"

Jane frowned. "No. Teresa needs her sleep; she has a hard day ahead. I'll stay here."

Lisbon shook her head. "If you're staying, so am I."

"Teresa, you need—"

"Stop telling me what I need!" she burst out. "Yes, I have a terrible day ahead of me tomorrow. But sleep is not what I need. I need you to distract me and make me smile. And I need to know you're safe. So if you're staying, I'm staying."

Jane looked momentarily taken aback, but he wrapped her hand in his. "All right. Let's go back to the hotel, then. The bed's more comfortable, and the room service is probably better."

Doctor Alonso chuckled. "Now, don't go giving us a bad review on Yelp. I'll get your discharge paperwork started. No strenuous activity, and I'll give you some anti-inflammatories and painkillers. And no more head-butting buses."

"I'll try to restrain myself," Jane promised. "That bus was asking for it, though."

"Hey," Lisbon said as the doctor left, "hand to hand combat is my job, remember?"

"And you're welcome to it," he assured her.

She tried to keep up a lighthearted tone. "If you didn't want to go to the funeral, all you had to do was say so."

Jane frowned. "Of course I'm going. I'm fine."

She doubted very much that was the case. "We'll see how you feel tomorrow."

"I know how I'm going to feel tomorrow," Jane insisted. "And I'm going to the funeral."

"Okay." They could argue tomorrow, she decided. For now, the important thing was to get him safely back to the hotel. They'd take a cab.

mmm

Jane's head was aching, and it was all he could do to keep up his appearance of normal behavior. He just wanted to crawl into bed with Lisbon and sleep. But just as he thought they were on their way, they were accosted by a policeman in the waiting room. He seemed to know Lisbon, who seemed irritatingly grateful to the man she introduced as Officer Walker.

Jane accepted his phone and wallet, checking it. Everything was there, but he had the nagging feeling he was missing something.

"What is it?" Lisbon asked, laying a hand on his arm in concern.

"I'm missing something," he muttered, frowning.

Officer Walker suggested, "Keys? We didn't find any. Do you still have yours?"

"The hotel key is in my wallet. My keys are in the safe." No point carrying them around a city where they didn't unlock anything, after all.

"Oh," Lisbon said in a tone of realization. "You had keys to the apartment, remember?"

Jane patted his pants pockets. "Not anymore."

Lisbon sucked in a breath and grabbed her phone. "Don? Someone just mugged Jane. We think they took the keys to Marcus' place. No, nothing else. I'm at the hospital. Can you send—yeah, thanks. I won't get back there until tomorrow. Probably after. Yeah. Thanks. See you then."

Walker said, "You think they mugged you for your keys?"

"Not mine," Jane said. "A murder victim's."

Lisbon winced. "It's an open case. The FBI's sending someone to check the place. Let's sit down, Jane. You give Officer Walker a statement, and then we'll go back to the hotel."

Jane thought about arguing, but Lisbon was a cop to the bone. She wanted to catch the bad guy. So he let her guide him to a hard plastic seat and then he told them as much as he could remember.

Walker handed him a business card. "If you remember anything else, give me a call, okay?"

Jane could tell he didn't have much hope of arresting anyone. "I will," he said, mostly to please Lisbon.

She was quiet as they got into a cab, but he noticed that she kept a grip on either his hand or his arm the entire time. While it felt nice to have her full attention, he didn't want her stressed out. Tomorrow was going to be a rough day for her, and he didn't want to make it worse.

"I'm okay," he whispered into her ear.

"That's the last time I send you out for dinner," she said. He wasn't sure she was joking.

"Does that mean room service?" he asked.

"Yes. You can have dinner in bed. Then you should sleep. I'll wake you up to check on you in a couple of hours."

"Sounds like fun." He tried to waggle his eyebrows suggestively, but it made his face hurt too badly.

"Down, boy," she murmured, but a smile pulled at her lips. He sat back, satisfied he'd given her thoughts a more pleasant turn.

They'd just gotten settled in their room when Lisbon's phone rang. She grimaced, said "okay" a couple of times, and sighed. Finally she said, "Thanks, Don," and hung up.

"Someone tossed the place?" he guessed.

"Yeah. All our work undone, and now we have to figure out if anything's missing." She looked frustrated and exhausted.

He patted the bed. "Come sit down and relax. We can peruse the room service menu."

After a moment, she did, careful not to lean on him. He raised his good arm and pulled her close, and they carefully found a cuddling position comfortable for both of them. Then Lisbon reached for the room service menu.

"Something light?" she suggested. "Fruit platter? Salad? Sorbet?"

"Yes," he said, his stomach letting out a loud growl. "And a sandwich, please."

Lisbon smiled, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Okay, I get it. You're hungry."

"Nice detective work," he teased.

Lisbon ordered dinner, which arrived in reasonably short order. His stomach full at last, Jane let Lisbon help him into pajama bottoms and promptly fell asleep.

It was annoying being woken up throughout the night, and it took all his self-control not to snap at Lisbon after the second time. He could hear the weariness in her soft voice, though, and remembered that this was the last thing she needed before a stressful day. So instead of harsh words, he gave her light kisses and encouraged her to go back to sleep.

When she woke him at dawn, it took him a moment to realize she was dressed. "Where're you going?" he yawned.

"Out for caffeine," she said. "I'll be back in time for your next check, don't worry."

"Hey. Be careful." He caught her wrist, suddenly worried.

"I got my gun," she assured him, pulling back her jacket to show him.

Jane remembered the hard time he'd given her about taking her gun on personal leave and regretted it.

"I'll be fine," she assured him, leaning down for a kiss. "And I'll be right back. You behave while I'm gone."

"I'll try," he said dubiously.

"Go back to sleep," she advised as she left.

Jane doubted he was capable of it. What if the person who'd had no compunction about hurting him to get Pike's keys hadn't found what he or she wanted? What if Lisbon was the next target?

He was mildly comforted by the thought that all this would have occurred to Lisbon, hence the gun on a coffee run. Still, the sooner she was back, the happier he'd be.

He leaned up to look at the clock, and his head and shoulder started throbbing. Wincing, he reached for the bottle of painkillers the hospital had given him, along with the glass of water Lisbon had thoughtfully provided on the nightstand.

Drowsiness overwhelmed him, and at some point he must have drifted off. He woke to the wonderful scent of English Breakfast tea, freshly brewed, and focused on Lisbon's back as she worked at the little table in the corner. His relief was so powerful it nearly brought tears to his eyes. "Hey," he said, his voice emerging as a croak.

"Hey, sleepyhead," Lisbon said, smiling over her shoulder at him. "Breakfast is on its way. Meanwhile, I got you some tea."

She turned around, revealing a beautiful polished wood tea tray holding a china teapot and cup and saucer. Jane stared at it in astonishment as he struggled into a sitting position. "Where did that come from?"

"I asked the concierge if there was a tea shop nearby. He sent me to a nice little place a block over that not only sells tea, but also everything you could possibly need to drink it. I, uh, splurged." She set the tray down on the bed and sat carefully beside it.

Jane beamed at her. She'd gone to a fair amount of trouble and expense for no other reason than to make him happy. Actually, she'd gone to a great deal of expense, judging by the sheen of the nearly see-through china cup.

Extravagance was his specialty; Lisbon was careful with her money. She rarely splurged. That she'd done so today was an indicator of how off-balance she was, whether from the non-accident or the funeral. Or both.

The tray was inlaid with blue and white tiles that matched the white cup, saucer, and teapot with blue geometric borders. The tea smelled amazing, and she'd found some milk somewhere, he saw. Everything was perfect.

Lisbon lifted the cup and saucer and held them out to him. His left hand shook a little as he took them, his shoulder protesting the movement, so he was grateful for the help.

"Do you like it?" she asked hopefully as he sipped.

"I love it. And I love you," he said, setting the cup and saucer back on the tray so he could lean forward and kiss her.

She deepened the light kiss into something that threatened to turn hot, then pulled reluctantly away, sitting back to watch him with a flushed smile.

Jane ran a finger along the edge of the tray before picking up the cup again. This thoughtful, beautiful presentation of his morning cup of tea spoke more eloquently of her love for him than any letter, song, or speech ever could. He felt humbled, delighted, and—cherished. Yes, that was the word. It was an unfamiliar feeling, something he'd gone almost half his adult life without.

"Thank you," he said softly.

"You're welcome," she responded. "And I ordered your eggs just the way you like them. After we've eaten, I'll go find you some Sudoku books and maybe something to read so you won't be bored while I'm at the funeral."

Ah ha. This was also meant to lure him into quiescence so he would let her treat him like an invalid. It didn't make the gesture mean less, though, because he knew her motives were pure. "I'm going to the funeral with you."

"You're supposed to be taking it easy," she frowned.

"And I will. I'll sit quietly during the funeral, and afterward I'll rest on the couch at the apartment while you work. We'll both feel better if we're together."

She couldn't argue with that, he thought, satisfied.

Breakfast arrived, so he sipped quietly at his tea while Lisbon bustled around, proving to her that he could actually behave himself with the right incentive. There was a lot of unnecessary straightening, he noticed, as she took the covers off the plates and unwrapped things. That was never a good sign.

When she came over to pick up the tea tray, he looked closely at her expression. Yes, she was stressed. She had to go to a funeral she'd planned for a man she'd hurt and face his friends and fiancée. Then she had to go clean up his tossed apartment so she could repack things. This on top of a sleepless night after being terrified for her lover's health and safety. That she was functioning at all was a testament to her strength.

When she helped him out of bed and over to the chair, he dropped a kiss on top of her head and left his arm around her waist as she tried to step back. "Come here," he coaxed.

"Patrick," she warned, "no strenuous activity, remember?"

"What's strenuous about kissing? And if you sit in my lap I don't have to move at all," he pointed out.

Lisbon looked at his face, eyes lingering on what he knew had to be one heck of a bruise, and abruptly gave in. Lowering herself carefully into his lap, she laid her palms on his chest and pressed her lips against his.

Kissing Lisbon was always a pleasure, but in this case, when they both knew it wasn't going to lead to sex, he focused solely on her mouth. She tasted like sugary coffee, another stress indicator, but he could feel her relaxing as she gave herself to the kiss. This was what they both needed: a reminder that they were together and safe, that they would face whatever happened as a united force.

They indulged in long, leisurely smooches until Lisbon's stomach let out a loud gurgle. Then they chuckled into each other's mouths for a moment before separating. "The food's getting cold," she pointed out.

"Let's eat," he agreed, reluctantly letting her go.

She was calm now, he was glad to see. And he was pretty sure there would be no more talk of leaving him behind.

She handed him his teacup, and he smiled at her. If there ever came a day when he doubted her love, he would just look at this cup and remember this morning. This might be a hard day, but it was also a good one.

He was sure of it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the delay in updating! Real life has been demanding lately. But please know how much I appreciate your reviews, follows, and favorites! They remind me to make time to do what I love in addition to my to-do list. :)

**Chapter 7**

Lisbon stared at herself in the full-length mirror beside the bathroom door, tugging at her dress unhappily. She owned only one black dress, the one she'd bought for her first official date with Marcus. The one Jane had called her beautiful in when she'd snuck back for her keys. It wasn't flashy, and with the addition of a nice black cardigan it was downright demure. The memories were clouding her evaluation of her appearance, though, and she was worried about what Jane would think. She didn't doubt for a second that he recognized the dress.

He came up behind her, moving a little more slowly than normal. She saw with surprise that not only was he wearing a sharp black suit, but he'd put on a tie. A tie. She hadn't even known he owned one. "Wow," she said.

"That's my line," he chuckled, setting his hands on her waist to balance himself as he leaned around to kiss her cheek. "You're beautiful."

She sighed. "Too much?"

"No. Not at all." He examined their reflection in the mirror, meeting her eyes there. "You look...solemn. Appropriate."

She turned, straightening his tie even though it didn't really need it. "So do you. Thanks."

"I'm here to make things easier for you, Teresa. Not to make things harder. I'll be on my very best behavior, I promise."

She couldn't deny the promise made her feel less nervous. She never knew when Jane might act out because someone irked him, and a room full of people saying nice things about her ex-lover seemed like an environment he'd find irksome at best.

"Thank you," she murmured. Then she kissed him.

He gave her what she needed, a sweet, slow kiss that was better than any anti-anxiety drug could possibly be.

That was what most surprised her about being with Jane. She'd seen him perform countless acts of kindness—and suspected many more—for children and other innocent victims, but she hadn't thought of him as a kind person. Mostly, she'd thought of him as a major pain in her ass who occasionally made an effort to redeem himself so she wouldn't kick him to the curb. It was as if Jane had kept his love dammed up all the years they'd known each other, but now it had burst free, flowing out of him in a steady stream of thoughtful gestures and affectionate touches.

When she'd fantasized about being with Jane, she'd assumed that she would put up with him annoying the crap out of her in return for mind-blowing sex. She had never, in her wildest dreams, thought she would find him easy to live with, or a help and comfort when she was stressed. But now she wasn't entirely sure she could live without him. She was sure she didn't want to face this funeral without him. Though she had to admit she was dreading the judgment from Marcus' friends at showing up with her new boyfriend in tow.

"Stop worrying," Jane murmured against her lips. "I'll keep my hands off you for the duration of the service. I don't have anything to prove to any of those people. For the next few hours I am primarily your friend."

She rested her cheek against his good shoulder, her arms going around his waist carefully. "I'd tell you to stop reading my mind, but just for today, I'm not going to bother."

"You might as well save your breath," he said. "I'm always going to read you, Teresa, so I can give you what you need."

The question that had been on the tip of her tongue for months wouldn't be swallowed down today. "If you can read me so well, why didn't you see that I was dying for you to make your move? Even after I moved here, every day I woke up thinking you'd call, or show up on my doorstep, or send a singing telegram or something. Anything. I couldn't believe I meant so little to you that you could just let me go. Shrug me off and get on with your life."

"No. No, darling, that is not even remotely what happened. Letting you go was the hardest thing I've ever done. But I wanted you to be happy. And I...wasn't on speaking terms with happy." He held her more tightly. "Please don't ever think for a moment that I shrugged you off. I missed you so much it was like all the air had gone out of my life. I just...I was terrified. Loving you is wonderful and being with you is even better, but I don't know how to love you without being frightened of losing you. And that's something I didn't know if I could live with. It was...easier to maintain the status quo."

"I've wondered," she admitted slowly, "if Marcus hadn't gotten the promotion, if we'd stayed in Austin, would you ever have told me how you felt? Or would you have been happy with the status quo?"

"Probably the status quo," he sighed. "As long as I could work with you."

"Even if..." She hesitated, but she really wanted to know. She still hadn't fully come to terms with the fact that he'd let her go, even though he'd changed his mind. "Would you have let me marry him?"

Jane let out another deep sigh. "I don't think so. I might have left it to the last minute, though. You know, burst into your wedding when the priest asked if anyone objected, like the worst cliche ever."

"Ugh," she said, imagining it.

"I like to think I would have spoken up before that, though. Seeing a ring on your finger and knowing you were about to be lost to me forever would have made me face up to my feelings. Because you could move back to Austin, but you wouldn't leave your husband for me."

Lisbon wasn't one hundred percent sure that was true, but it certainly would have been even more painful than what had actually happened. "I'm glad it didn't go that far."

Jane hummed thoughtfully. "But you're still a little angry that it went as far as it did."

"A...a little maybe. I know I have to own my own choices, though."

"It's okay to be angry with me for lying to you, even by omission," he murmured. He began swaying them back and forth a little. "It's okay to blame me for being the root cause of the pain Marcus felt when you left him. I'd far rather you blame me than yourself."

Tears began to threaten, so Lisbon closed her eyes.

"When you pray for forgiveness," Jane whispered, "say one for me, too. Because you didn't do anything wrong, Teresa. It's not a sin to want to be happy, to want not to be alone anymore. I was the one lying and making you think Marcus was your only real chance at that."

She sniffed, biting her lip as the tears escaped. "I just don't know if he ever understood how sorry I was. If he ever forgave me."

Jane hesitated. "He died holding a picture of you. I think it's safe to say he didn't hate you."

Lisbon took a deep breath, trying to get herself under control. She couldn't sob all over Jane's white shirt and probably only tie, no matter how much she wanted to. Jane rubbed her back and kept swaying while she fought her way through the rush of emotion.

It was nice to have someone to lean on, she thought. She couldn't remember the last time she'd let someone comfort her. With Marcus, she'd been so concerned about making him think she was happy that she never let him see her sad or homesick. She'd wanted so much to be a person who was happy to be with him. But with Jane, she could be herself. He knew her too well to be fooled by an act anyway. It was somehow very freeing.

When she had herself under control, she pulled back, giving him a quick kiss. "We'd better get going."

Jane brought his handkerchief up to dab at her cheeks, then pressed it into her hand. "Hang on to that," he advised. "I have another if you need it."

"I'm not going to bawl in public," she replied, but she tucked the handkerchief into her little handbag anyway.

"You should do whatever you need to," Jane said. "And I don't want you to worry about anything. I'll deal with any issues that arise. You focus on you."

"I'm fine, Patrick."

"I know," he replied, with a little smile that made her wonder if he was patronizing her. Then he sobered. "It's important to grieve, to say your goodbyes. You need to do that so you can move forward."

Lisbon stared at him, raising her eyebrows. Jane had the grace to look a little sheepish as he added, "And I realize how hypocritical that sounds. But I know how important it is precisely because I didn't do it for so long. I...I don't want that for you."

She nodded. "Don't worry. I'm okay. I'm more worried about you." She reached up to brush her fingertips lightly across the bruise forming on the side of his face. "You have your painkillers? And you'll tell me if you need to rest, right?"

"I'm fine, Teresa. I've had worse, remember?"

She sighed. He'd been blown up twice, punched countless times, hit in the head by a baseball once, beat up on several occasions, and now thrown into a moving bus. "You need to stop getting banged up."

"I'll do my best. But at least I'm hard headed," he grinned.

"This is not a joke. Not to me," she said firmly. "Part of being together is taking care of ourselves for the other's sake. I'm always aware now that it's not just me I'm risking in a dicey situation. I hope you realize that works both ways."

"I do. And I will be careful, I promise. In fact I won't leave your sight today, okay?" Jane kissed her again, then stepped back. "We'd better go."

Lisbon sighed, slipping her hand in his as they went out the door.

mmm

Jane was happy to realize that he didn't need to worry so much about Lisbon as people gathered for the service. She knew most of Pike's coworkers and knew something about the out of town friends who'd flown in, and none of them seemed to be angry with her for breaking off their relationship. Instead, they were all swapping Pike stories, keeping things light as much as they could. Jane noticed only an occasional thickening of the voice or clearing of the throat that betrayed their genuine sorrow.

It made him wonder what his own funeral might be like. Aside from Lisbon, Cho, and the Rigsbys, who would really mourn him? His new teammates, yes, a bit. Sam and Pete if they were still around. But it seemed that his departure from this life would distress very few people. Which was not necessarily a bad thing, he reflected, except that he didn't want Lisbon to stand alone at his grave, or to have her grief intensified by the knowledge that she had no one to share it with. Sure, she could trade stories about his novel methods of closing cases with past and present colleagues who would come more for her sake than his, but who would really understand why she mourned him?

There was no serial killer stalking him anymore, no excuse to keep people at arm's length. He should make an effort to build some relationships outside work. Maybe he and Lisbon could make some friends as a couple. He and Angela had done that once, before he'd become a celebrity. It had been pleasant, he remembered. It would be good for Lisbon and help them both carve out a personal life outside the bedroom.

Of course, if they had a child, they'd soon have a life revolving around daycare friends, preschool classmates, and such. The thought was at once alluring and terrifying. He had meant it when he told Lisbon she could have what she wanted, but he was far from confident he wouldn't become a nervous wreck the moment he suspected she was pregnant.

One of Pike's fraternity brothers was showing a video of his kid's soccer game on his phone, and Jane didn't miss the furtive glance Lisbon gave him. But before he could respond, he spotted the arrival he'd been watching for and went to intercept Amy.

She was looking around the room uncertainly and seemed grateful that he'd come to her rescue. "Hi, Patrick," she said in a quavery voice. Then she noticed his bruise and gasped. "What happened to you?"

"A minor accident," he replied. "I'm sure everyone here would love to meet you. Whom haven't you met yet?"

"Oh, um, I know Agent Bradley and Agent Weems. And I think I've met Agent Donnelly. And Agent Lisbon of course."

"We'll turn to the non-FBI agents then," he said, smiling reassuringly at her. As he led Amy over to the group, he caught Lisbon's eye, and she excused herself to go greet a couple who'd just arrived.

When it was time for the service to start, Jane gave a little sigh of relief at being able to seat Amy and then settle in beside Lisbon. While he knew that keeping everyone getting along was the best thing he could do for her—as well as sparing her from having to introduce him and thus highlight the fact that she'd left Pike for him—he would much rather have been at her side the entire time.

The funeral home director welcomed everyone and noted that there would be a graveside service to follow for those who chose to attend. Then he invited Lisbon up to speak.

Jane squeezed her hand as she got up. She was composed as she faced everyone with a solemn expression. "Thank you all for coming. I know this has been a shock to all of us, of the worst possible kind. The world is a dimmer place without Marcus—less safe, less honest, and less fun. I hope you'll all share your favorite memories of him today, so I'll begin by sharing one of mine." She took a deep breath. "I'd had a really bad day at work, a terrible case where I wasn't totally happy with my own actions even though we caught the bad guy."

Ah, Jane thought. The human/organ trafficking case. He'd pushed her boundaries with that one, and she'd had to lie to Abbott about it. It was, he realized, right around that time that she'd decided to leave Austin. Had she thought staying would be tantamount to surrendering her integrity, afraid she'd get sucked into ever more outrageous schemes? He'd been more careful since her return, but he resolved to keep being mindful of the damage he caused to their relationship when he put her in situations where she had to lie for him.

"In fact," Lisbon continued, "that was the night I told him I'd move here with him, and he asked me to marry him. But I wasn't ready to give him an answer then. I was surprised and feeling a little down on myself, like I didn't deserve to be with such a great guy. I still think that, sometimes." She paused to wipe at her eyes. "Any other guy would have been upset or impatient, but not Marcus. And he knew I wouldn't feel like dressing up and celebrating, so he took me mini-golfing." She smiled a little. "I thought it was a silly idea, to be honest. It was late at night, and it was us and this group of college students who may or may not have been a little tipsy. Either way, they certainly weren't any good at mini-golf."

Everyone chuckled. Lisbon paused, then said, "I wasn't either, to be honest. Marcus was, but instead of irritating me by giving me pointers, he just let me deal with it. And concentrating on trying to make the shots while he was joking around turned out to be what I needed, the best thing he could have done. By the end of it, we were both laughing and having a great time. It showed me how good we were together. And when I think about him, I remember his laugh."

She was starting to grow hoarse with emotion, Jane noted with concern.

"I remember how patient he was. How much he wanted to make me happy. How honest and straightforward he was. He was a terrible liar." She smiled as the others chuckled again. "He was gentle and sweet. And I consider myself very blessed to have known him." She sniffed as she quickly made her way back to her seat. Jane had his handkerchief ready to press into her hand, and she dabbed at her eyes.

Pike's friends, fraternity brothers, and coworkers all had funny or touching stories to tell, and Jane was fascinated by the picture of an ordinary, but valued, guy that emerged. Was this what he would have been like if he'd been born to middle-class parents in suburban Columbus, Ohio? Was this the kind of man Lisbon had grown up thinking she would marry?

Her hand tucked itself into his, fingers gripping tightly, and he looked over at her to find her looking back, brows drawn together in concern. He smiled reassuringly, and she relaxed.

After nearly everyone had spoken, there was a pause. The funeral director was just starting to make his way forward when Amy stood, looking around nervously as she went to the front of the room. Jane gave her an encouraging smile when she looked his way, sliding an arm around Lisbon's shoulders to remind Amy to behave if she wanted his continued support.

"I...I can't believe he's gone," Amy began, twisting her hands together and then smoothing down the skirt of her black dress. "Marcus was...the best thing that ever happened to me. I couldn't believe how lucky I was when he asked me to marry him. It was like a fairy tale. He was handsome and kind, just like a prince or a knight. But, you know, like a tragic hero. With a broken heart."

Lisbon tensed, and Jane gently tightened his embrace.

"But we made each other happy. So happy. And I'll always remember that." She managed a tremulous smile as she sat down again.

As everyone stood to go, Jane whispered in Lisbon's ear. "That went well. You did great."

She leaned her head against his shoulder, just for a moment. Then they went outside.

Lisbon had decided to bear with being driven to the ceremony in a limo, mostly because it was easier than renting a car. But as Jane handed her in, she froze in surprise. "Amy," she said.

Jane ducked his head to see Amy already ensconced on the far side of the seat. "I'm sorry, weren't you expecting me? I thought, as the fiancée..."

"Oh. Well, there's plenty of room," Lisbon said, sitting down with a fake smile.

Jane opted for the backward facing seat rather than force Lisbon and Amy to sit close to each other. He hoped the cemetery wasn't far; he wasn't comfortable with the number of teeth being bared on the seat facing him.

"That was nice, what you said," Lisbon told Amy.

"Thanks." Amy pointedly did not return the compliment. "It was a nice service. What have you planned for the gravesite?"

"I asked my priest to officiate. I know Marcus wasn't religious, but it means something to me." Lisbon was defensive, Jane thought, to no purpose. "I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all. It can't hurt, right?"

They were silent for a while, until Lisbon shot Jane a look that plainly asked for help. He responded by making small talk with Amy, asking her how much time she'd been given for bereavement leave, what her favorite thing was about her job, if she liked the area where she lived, etc. Her answers confirmed his initial impression of her as a rather shallow, self-centered person, and he wondered how Pike could have gone from Lisbon's depth and complexity to Amy. Perhaps, in the end, he just hadn't wanted to be alone. In which case Jane felt less guilty about taking Lisbon away from him. She deserved to be appreciated for the rare, beautiful creature she was.

After an appallingly long drive through heavy traffic, they reached the cemetery. Father Egan was already waiting, and it took only a few minutes for everyone to gather so they could begin.

Jane tuned out the service, looking around at the mourners as Agent Bradley was doing. He quickly ascertained that the few who looked guilty weren't murderers, so he amused himself watching a pair of swallows hop along the grass nearby. He checked in on Lisbon occasionally but didn't let her catch him doing it. Lisbon was devout but private about her faith, and she'd taken care not to practice it in front of him except in extreme circumstances. Like having a bomb strapped to her, for instance.

He needed to find a way to let her know that although he didn't believe in a benevolent deity in the sky, her faith was a part of her, and he would never want to change that. If she found comfort in what to him were incomprehensible rituals, he was fine with that. She deserved all the comfort she could get.

Meanwhile, he didn't want her to feel he was watching and possibly judging her. So he pretended to ignore the service, and when it was over he stood few paces away while she spoke to the priest.

One of the fraternity brothers, whose name Jane hadn't bothered to commit to the memory palace, approached. "Hey, some of us are going for drinks, if you and Teresa want to come."

"I'm afraid we can't, but thank you. And thanks for coming," Jane replied. He turned to look for Amy and saw her getting into a car with another of the out of town mourners. Well, good. He and Lisbon would be able to talk on the way back.

Don Bradley was standing off to one side, so Jane went over to him. "Agent Bradley. So, how goes the case?"

"Mr. Jane. Lovely service," he responded. Looking at Jane's bruise, he added, "Sorry to hear about the...well, it wasn't exactly an accident, was it?"

"No. Those keys weren't marked; whoever used them already knew where they were for," Jane said. "Which indicates they attacked me specifically to get them. Any idea what they were after?"

"No. Pike's unit say he wouldn't have had anything valuable or sensitive at home. It wasn't their impression that he owned anything worth stealing, other than a nice TV and stereo. Which are still there. Any thoughts?"

"Hm." Jane mulled over what he might be prepared to share at this stage. "I think it's a shame none of Amy's friends or family could take the time to support her in her grief."

"We're looking into her, but nothing unusual yet," Bradley said.

"And I think that whoever tossed Pike's apartment will make another appearance, since they didn't find what they were looking for."

"How do you know?"

"Lisbon said the place was completely trashed. If they'd found what they were looking for, they'd have stopped then. Unlikely it was in the very last place they looked."

"Hm." Bradley frowned. "You think they'll be back? I can put eyes on the place."

"If they looked everywhere, they won't come back to look there again. But they might think Lisbon has it." That was Jane's biggest concern. He did not like the idea of Lisbon as a target, not at all.

"We can keep an eye on your hotel as well."

"That might be good," Jane agreed. "What was Pike working on?"

"Nothing big. He'd recently helped take down a major gang operating in North America and Europe. Recovered nearly half a billion dollars' worth of art in a sting operation."

"Any of them get away?"

"Not that we're aware. Possibly. Pike's team is looking into that."

"Good. Well, keep us posted. We're here a few more days, until we get the apartment cleared." Jane glanced over at Lisbon, who had finished with her private prayers at the graveside and was heading toward them.

"Teresa," Bradley greeted her. "Lovely service."

"Thank you," she replied. "Any progress on the case?"

"We're pursuing several leads," he told her.

Lisbon looked unhappy, easily translating that into a "no." But she didn't push. "Let us know if we can help. Jane here is kind of a legend in Austin."

"So I've heard. I'll let you know. Take care." Bradley smiled and left.

"Tea?" Jane suggested hopefully.

Lisbon moved closer, sliding an arm around his waist. "Sure. We can make a stop on the way to the apartment. You feeling okay?"

"Right as rain, love." He kissed the top of her head. "Let's go."


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: **So sorry for the delay! I was across the country for a week-long conference and the 16-hour days left no time or energy for writing. I'm back in my normal routine now though. And if you're tempted to complain this chapter is short, take comfort that I didn't write until I hit a evil cliffhanger. :) Oh, and the tie is for Sue Shay—I hope you like it!

**Chapter 8**

The mess in the apartment was every bit as bad as Lisbon had feared, but she swallowed down her frustration and anger and focused on Jane. He was wincing a little with every step, and she knew it must be time for another painkiller.

She settled him on the couch and patted his pockets, finding the pill bottle and pouring two into her palm. "Do you want water?" she asked.

"No. My tea's cool enough," he sighed, eyeing the pills with resignation and picking up the paper cup.

Once he'd swallowed the pills, she helped him lie down. There was just enough room for her to perch on the edge of the couch, and she slid her fingers into his hair on the uninjured side of his head, causing his eyes to fall shut and his lips to curve into a smile. If he had a tail, it would be thumping against the cushions in pure bliss, she thought.

"Better?" she asked softly.

"Mm hm," he hummed.

"Good." She shrugged off her sweater and laid it on the back of the couch, then began unknotting his tie. The royal blue silk slid easily through her fingers, and she smiled as she folded it carefully and laid it on top of her sweater. "I love the tie, by the way."

"Thought you might," he replied, his eyes glinting at her from under lowered lids. "You've always thought I needed a leash, haven't you?"

"There have certainly been times I wished I had a choke chain on you," she said dryly. Then she leaned forward to kiss him. "Thank you for behaving today."

"It was the least I could do," he replied.

She undid the first three buttons of his shirt. "Get some rest. I'm going to get started on this mess."

Jane caught her wrist, so she sat back down. He frowned, then asked, "Did they toss the whole place?"

"Looks like it. Oh. You don't think they found what they're looking for," Lisbon realized.

"Unless you find a corner untouched, no."

"What are you thinking?" She looked down at him, preparing to try to read him through his evasion.

Jane looked steadily at her, his expression open. "Pike had something someone was willing to kill to get. He didn't hide it here, apparently. He crawled over to the picture of you to ensure you'd look into the case, not just because you're an excellent investigator, but because you know something. Something relevant."

Lisbon frowned in confusion. "Like what?"

"I don't know. Someplace that he'd hide whatever it is? A guess as to what it was?"

"He never brought anything home from work but files and his laptop. The FBI cleared those out before we got here."

"Probably not work related, then." His look was gentle. "Something personal."

Lisbon looked down at her hand resting on his heart. "I don't know what it could be."

"Storage unit?"

She shook her head. "Marcus said if you have enough junk to need a storage unit, you have too much junk."

"Gym locker?"

"He used the gym at the FBI, and it's already been emptied."

"Well, give it some thought," Jane advised. "It'll come to you."

"Okay. Take a nap and let the medicine work. Jack and the others are coming over later for the bequests. Then we can grab some dinner." She kissed him again. "Don't get up, and don't answer the door."

"Okay," he murmured, closing his eyes. "Don't go out. They might think you have whatever it is."

Lisbon glanced at her handbag, just large enough to hold her gun, badge, and cell phone. "Don't worry. I have plenty to do here."

Jane hummed in agreement, half asleep. Lisbon looked at him for a second more, then got up, kicked off her shoes, and went to work.

mmm

Jane wasn't sure what time it was when he woke, but then he noticed the sun was setting. Sitting up, he saw that Lisbon had turned on the lights in the bedroom. The living room was set to rights, so she'd been working hard.

Sitting up slowly, he took stock of his injuries. His shoulder ached a little, and his head felt fuzzy, but mostly he was thirsty. When he got to his feet, he didn't get dizzy, so he went to the kitchen and drank a glass of water, then made his way to the bedroom.

A grin spread over his face as he noticed the black dress spread out on the bed and the delectable panty-clad ass poking out of the closet.

"Naked house cleaning. How come you never do this at home?" he teased.

"Ow!" Lisbon exclaimed as she straightened up and hit her head on the closet rod. Jane saw with disappointment that she was, in fact, wearing a Washington Nationals jersey with Strasburg emblazoned on the back. A flare of jealousy burned through him for a moment until he realized it was far too small to be Pike's.

"Dammit, Jane," Lisbon complained, rubbing her head and setting her short ponytail swunging. Between that and the smear of dust on her cheek, she looked about nineteen, and he had to smile.

Lisbon rolled her eyes at him, then seemed to remember what she was wearing. "Oh," she said, flustered. "I found this. I must have left it here."

Jane tsked at her. "You mean you left it here because you thought it would make me unhappy. Teresa." He reached out to wipe the dust off her cheek. "In a matter of days you'll be wearing my ring. Soon after that, you will be my wife. And I hope immediately after that you'll be carrying our child. One sports jersey isn't going to matter to me."

Lisbon's smile was brilliant with happiness. "In a hurry, huh?"

"Yes. I wasted enough of our time. So you should keep your jersey." He paused, then pretended to be struck by a thought. "Assuming you weren't actually dating Mr. Strasburg."

She laughed. "No." Then she sighed. "I do miss going to the games, though."

"Are they playing at home while we're here?" Jane wasn't a sports fan, but he'd buy tickets if Lisbon wanted. Hell, he'd buy her season tickets if she wanted.

"Not for a few days. What time is it?" She glanced at the alarm clock and answered her own question. "I'd better get cleaned up."

Jane took a seat on the bed and watched with interest as Lisbon stripped off the jersey and stepped into the dress. He zipped it for her, then slid the rubber band out of her hair and fluffed it with his fingers. "So you're handing out the bequests, huh?"

"Yeah. There are a couple of people who couldn't come, and I put their stuff aside to mail. But I figured his friends should come pick up theirs and see if there's anything else they want."

"Good thing we got the probate process started." Jane massaged her shoulders gently. "Looks like you've just about finished his clothes."

"Yeah," she sighed. "Oh, I wish this was over."

"Soon," he assured her, pausing his massage to plant a kiss behind her ear.

mmm

It was only a few minutes later that a knock on the door interrupted them. Lisbon went to answer it, glancing over her shoulder to see that Jane had put his game face on.

Jack Reid and Trevor Dunn had been Marcus' fraternity brothers, and they were nice guys who didn't seem to hold it against her that she'd left him. Marcus' best boyhood friend, Tony Benson, was a little cooler to her but still scrupulously polite. Being around them and hearing their stories made her feel even more guilty that she'd hurt Marcus. He really had been a great guy.

She glanced at Jane as Amy came in behind Tony, obviously having spent the afternoon with the guys. They were holding their liquor well, but she suspected they'd had quite a few toasts.

Lisbon had brought all the things she thought they might be interested in to the living room for them to browse. A goodnatured squabble broke out over an intramural football trophy, and there was some joshing around over dividing up old photos. It reminded her of her brothers, and she made a note to call them when she got home.

Jane stayed on the sidelines, listening to Amy as she picked up various knickknacks and mementoes and reminisced about them. Lisbon wondered if he had a headache; he was being uncharacteristically quiet.

Eventually they decided to order some pizza and have dinner together. It was getting late when Lisbon realized that Jane had vanished, and she frowned as she tried to remember whether he'd eaten anything. She was about to go check on him when Jack and Trevor decided to leave, and saying goodbye took a while. But at last she was free to leave Tony and Amy on the couch and go into the bedroom.

The empty bed froze her in shock and fear until she realized there was a pillow missing, as well as the throw that usually lay across the foot of the bed. Going around to the other side, she found Jane curled on the floor on his uninjured side, sleeping peacefully. She gazed down at him with a sigh. He needed to be in bed. Why was he on the floor?

Oh. She shook her head at him as she realized he would rather sleep anywhere but the bed she'd shared with Marcus. He'd been so supportive on this trip that she'd almost forgotten how difficult it must be for him to be constantly reminded of the life she'd made without him. His love was deep and fierce, paired with an equally fierce need to protect and keep her close; her leaving must have been incredibly painful. She wished he'd had the courage to let her see that in the first place. They would all have been spared some pain.

But on the other hand, she couldn't fault him for trying to protect himself. He'd been raised to keep his feelings hidden, and the loss of his family had only reinforced that. Of course he hadn't wanted to put himself at risk again. And she knew that he really had wanted the best for her. It was only when he realized she wasn't happy with Marcus that he'd told her the truth.

With a sigh, she kicked off her shoes and knelt on the floor, easing herself down to lie beside him. As she carefully lifted his sore arm to slide under it, he mumbled her name and pulled her close, which made her smile. Even asleep, he always knew her, and he never called her by the wrong name, which she took as a sign that he really had moved on and wasn't stuck in the past anymore. She kissed his forehead gently as she pulled the throw over them.

Snug in their warm cocoon, Lisbon relaxed, trying to let the stress of the day fade. The worst was over now, and as soon as she had cleared the apartment and completed the paperwork to end the lease, they would go home. And even though it would take time to wrap up Marcus' finances, she'd have good things to look forward to as well, now that Jane had finally gotten it through his head that there was no need to wait around for her to overcome the commitment issues he claimed she had.

She must have dozed off, because she woke with a start, her mind alerting her to a danger she couldn't immediately spot in the dark room. She was sitting up before she identified the silhouette standing over them as Amy's.

"Sorry," Amy said, not sounding it. "Tony is leaving and wanted to say goodbye."

Lisbon glanced down at Jane, who must be awake but wasn't choosing to act like it. "I must have dozed off. It's been a long day." She got to her feet, careful not to jostle Jane, and wondered why she was explaining herself. She owed Amy nothing.

"Is Patrick okay?" Amy asked.

"He just needs to rest," Lisbon replied, herding Amy toward the door.

"He looks like he should be in the hospital."

Lisbon bristled but kept her tone even. "He insisted on coming with me."

"He's a good man," Amy said, pausing in the hallway.

"Yes, he is." Lisbon was curious to see where this was going, but mostly she wanted to get Jane safely tucked in their comfortable hotel bed.

"You don't deserve him. And you didn't deserve Marcus." Amy folded her arms and looked like she was spoiling for a fight. Lisbon had no intention of indulging her.

"I'm very sorry I hurt Marcus. But I'm glad my leaving let the two of you find happiness. And I hope someday you'll find that again."

Amy's expression crumpled. "I hope so too."

"Come on. It's been a long day." Lisbon gestured for Amy to precede her to the living room.

Tony was standing by the door. He put out his hand as Lisbon approached. "It was a nice ceremony. Thank you for arranging it."

"I'm glad you could come," Lisbon replied. "Are you sure you won't take anything else?"

Tony shook his head. "I have a lot of great memories already. Thanks, though."

"Have a safe trip home." Lisbon stepped back as he opened the door, surprised and disappointed when Amy made no move to leave too.

As the two women stared at each other, Lisbon wondered why Jane hadn't come out to join them. He'd been running interference between them since they'd met. Why stop now? Was he that tired? Was he sick? She was suddenly very worried and anxious to get rid of Amy.

"Is there anything else you'd like?" Lisbon offered, gesturing to the little pile of photos and other mementoes Amy had chosen.

"One of his shirts, maybe? Oh, and did you find his cologne?"

"In the bathroom," Lisbon said, feeling her heart soften a little. She'd managed to get hold of one of Jane's shirts while he was in exile, but she'd missed his scent desperately once she was living with Marcus, whose cologne she found uninspiring. It would be a comfort to Amy, though, she hoped.

She began boxing up the things in the living room that hadn't been claimed, pausing when she heard the murmur of voices in the bedroom. Should she join them? Jane seemed to know what he was doing with Amy; he usually did when it came to handling difficult people, whether he chose to exercise that knowledge or not.

How had Marcus handled her, Lisbon wondered. Maybe she hadn't shown him her difficult side, or he'd welcomed her honesty if she had. It depressed her to reflect that while she'd most valued Marcus' honesty, she hadn't been honest with him. Maybe he'd just wanted someone who wanted him and kept no secrets. Maybe what he'd valued most about Amy was that she wasn't in love with another man and trying her best to hide it, and he'd seen her temper as a secondary issue.

Before she could make up her mind whether to go to the bedroom, Jane and Amy emerged. Amy was propping Jane up, one of his arms slung across her shoulders, and Lisbon instantly dropped what she was holding and hurried over to them. "Are you all right?" she asked Jane.

"Fine, fine," he assured her. "Right as rain."

"He got dizzy when he stood up," Amy argued.

"Sit," Lisbon commanded, reaching for Jane. He shook his head slightly at her, though, and let Amy help him settle on the couch.

Lisbon told herself firmly that Jane must be working an angle with Amy and she had no reason to be hurt. Jane didn't have an unfaithful bone in his body, and whatever he might do, it wouldn't be because he was interested in Amy romantically.

"I'm fine, Teresa," he assured her. "Do what you need to do."

"It's late. I'm done here," she told him, hoping Amy would get the hint.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?" Amy asked.

Lisbon held on to her temper. "No, we're almost done. We'll finish up tomorrow and go home." Then she thought to ask, "Will you be all right?"

Amy sniffed, wiping at her eyes. "Someday, I hope. Thanks for taking care of everything."

"You're welcome. I'm sorry we had to meet like this." There was probably an alternate universe where Marcus and Amy invited her and Jane to their wedding and they all lived happily ever after. She wished she lived there, because it was probably a more just world. Marcus was a good man who'd deserved far, far better than he'd gotten.

"Yeah, well." Amy swallowed down a sob.

Jane said gently, "Be well, Amy. We'll be in touch."

Amy nodded, picked up her things, and left, too choked up for a good-bye. Lisbon sighed in relief once she was gone, sitting beside Jane and kissing him. "You okay?" she asked again.

"Just tired," he said. "Can we go back to the hotel now?"

"Yes. I'll make you a cup of tea and tuck you in," she promised.

He smiled. "I love you."

She leaned over to kiss him again. "I love you too. More today than yesterday, and more tomorrow than today."

"Then we're headed in the right direction," he chuckled, threading his fingers through hers. "Let's go."


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: **The first section of this is M territory, so if that isn't your thing, you should skip to the first section break. As always, I love hearing from you! Especially since some of you may find your suspicions confirmed soon... :)

**Chapter 9**

Jane felt much better when he woke the next morning. His head was clear and his shoulder ached less, so he rolled to his side to smile at Lisbon, sound asleep, and ponder putting his morning erection to use. Her tenderness of yesterday might linger if he woke her the right way, and he couldn't be the only one missing their lovemaking. They were still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship, after all.

Sliding a hand up her nightshirt, he gently palmed a breast and started kneading, lightly at first and then with growing pressure as he felt her nipple tighten and stand erect. She moaned a little in her sleep and shifted to give him better access, which made him grin in anticipation before coaxing her all the way onto her back so he could push the shirt up. He was primarily a tactile person when it came to sex, but a little visual stimulation was always a pleasant bonus.

When he bent to press an open mouth kiss to her nipple, she arched her back, one hand going blindly to his head and taking a firm hold on his hair. Lisbon was a control freak even in her sleep, he knew, and without her conscious mind holding her back, she might hurt him without meaning to. He'd better not dawdle.

Making sure to lean his weight mostly on his good shoulder, he reached a hand down into her panties, pleased at the way her legs fell open to welcome him and the slickness his finger met when he dipped it inside her. He loved the way she gave herself to their lovemaking without reservation, not worrying about how she looked or sounded, trusting him with her uncensored self. Their years together paid off in bed in ways he hadn't anticipated, and that was one of them: Lisbon's default assumption was that he already knew her secrets, and she felt no need to hide anything from him. For such a controlled personality, that was a huge leap of faith, and he treasured it for the splendid gift it was.

He noted how her breathing changed and the roll of her hips increased as he slid his fingers in and out of her, knowing the timing was critical. Too much too fast and she would wake up startled and disoriented; if he led her slowly and steadily up to orgasm, she would wake just as the wave of ecstasy crashed over her, letting the ebb of pleasure pull her into the day. He loved knowing that about her, something he was sure no other man had ever uncovered and that she herself had probably not known. It was their shared secret.

She began moaning his last name, which she defaulted to when she wasn't consciously trying to use his first. That was a legacy of their years together too, a remnant of years of hopeless longing and cherished fantasies, something they'd both tried to keep each other from knowing they had in common.

He put his mouth against her ear and whispered, "I'm here, Teresa. I'm here."

"Jane," she sighed happily, and then she gave a little cry as his fingers found that certain spot inside her. Her hips came off the bed so violently it jarred his shoulder, but he kept his focus on her as he breathed through the pain.

She cried his name again, spasming around him as her eyes fluttered open, her gaze locking onto his in those first few seconds of consciousness. He loved that glimpse into her unguarded soul, the feeling that he could see all the way into her with no barriers. The way she held his gaze without reserve, accepting all the love his own eyes poured out to her, healed the cracks in him a little more each time.

Her body calmed, and he withdrew his fingers, smiling at the little pout she made as he did. Then he licked them clean, loving the feral heat building in her expression as she watched.

"Good morning," he said, his voice low and husky.

"Oh, yes, it is," she replied with a feline smile, arching up to slip off her panties before rolling to her side, throwing a leg over his hip, and impaling herself on his aching hard on. "Mm. My favorite way to wake up."

"Mine too," he grinned, kissing her. "Mmm, love, you feel so good. So good."

"You make me feel good too," she replied, panting a little as she increased their pace. "Don't hold out; I've had mine. Your turn."

"Huh uh," he grunted. He made it a point of pride to keep a certain ratio between their orgasms, and he wasn't going to let it fall to 1:1 now. He slipped a finger between them, making her gasp as he pressed on her clit.

"Stubborn ass," she breathed, which made him gasp out a laugh. "You always have to win."

"In this case, we both win," he pointed out. He removed his finger and slid his hand to her ass, angling her so her clit brushed his cock with each short, sharp thrust.

"Ah!" Lisbon's eyes rolled back in her head, and he licked her exposed throat, ending with a nibble on her chin that made her squeak. "Don't mark me!"

He chuckled breathlessly. "Why not? You're mine. I'm going to mark you with a ring and then a wedding band and then I'm going to put a baby inside you, big and round for all the world to—"

He broke off as she came, clutching at him hard and pulling him over the edge with a choking cry.

mmm

Afterward, they lay panting in each other's arms, recovering while they exchanged smiles, until Lisbon leaned up to nip at Jane's lower lip. "Sometimes I think you could just talk me into an orgasm," she teased.

"I'll take that dare," he replied with a cocky grin.

Her smile faded. "I want to go off the pill. Now. We'll still have plenty of time to get married even if I get pregnant right away."

Jane looked at her, reading the desire bordering on desperation in her eyes. As much as he wanted to do things in the traditional order, he also didn't want to deny her anything. And he had to admit that carrying their unborn child with them to the altar wasn't exactly a novel adaptation of the tradition. "Okay."

"Okay?" She looked surprised.

"Okay." He smiled, pecking her on the lips. "If you want to be a pregnant bride, I'll do my best to make you one."

Lisbon squeezed him tightly, burying her face in his neck. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me, my love. This is something we both want." He stroked her back. "These are decisions we make together. It's not about one of us winning."

"I know," she said, her voice muffled as she pressed little kisses up his jawline. "But you're so stubborn, I didn't think you'd change your mind. And I'd never try to get pregnant until you agreed you were ready."

"I know that," he assured her. He was the trickster in this relationship; Lisbon would never play games, especially ones involving an innocent life.

She kissed him soundly, then slid out of bed. He felt bereft until she smiled and said, "I'll make you some tea."

She stripped off her nightshirt, treating him to a delightful view as she went into the bathroom. A moment later she returned with a cup of water for the electric kettle and her pack of pills, which she held up for him to see before dropping them neatly into the trash.

Jane beamed at her. For the rest of his life he would remember that image, Lisbon nude, flushed, and joyful as she declared her intent to build a family with him, then turned to brew him a cup of tea. If he were a painter, he would capture that moment on canvas and title it simply "Love."

It would be priceless. Just like her.

mmm

Lisbon felt happy for the first time since she'd learned of Marcus' death. She and Jane were on the same page about their future, finally, and he was feeling better if his sexy way of waking her up was any indication.

They showered, got dressed, and had a leisurely breakfast in the hotel restaurant, smiling at each other like besotted newlyweds. Then they strolled hand in hand through Old Town to the Metro, enjoying the mild fall day.

They took the Blue Line to Rosslyn station, where they waited for an Orange Line train. Their platform was mostly empty when they arrived, but it was soon filled with a swarm of high schoolers talking excitedly about the huge escalator they'd just taken and jostling each other playfully. Lisbon watched them closely, worried they were in danger of falling into the tracks, but their chaperone shooed them back before anyone could get hurt.

After a few minutes, they were joined by more tourists and a few late commuters, and the platform became crowded. Lisbon stuck close to Jane, and they ended up at the back of the crowd, his arms wrapped loosely around her waist from behind.

Above the din, a shout rose, followed by a shrill cry for help from the other end of the platform. Lisbon began pushing her way through the crowd, Jane following her as best he could. She was faster, though, and soon she realized she'd lost him. He'd be okay, though, she told herself as she looked around for the person in distress.

The train was just coming into the station when she felt a sharp prick in her arm and turned quickly, but no one was paying any attention to her. She looked around for Jane again, her vision going cloudy. As she swayed and fell into someone's arms, her last thought was of Jane, tousled and smiling at her from bed.

mmm

Jane searched frantically for Lisbon as the train came to a stop, pushing his way through the people trying to get off and on the train. How could she have disappeared? He couldn't see her anywhere. Would she have gotten on the train? No, not without helping whoever had called out. And not without him.

After the train left, Jane traversed the platform's entire length twice as it emptied, his heart thumping painfully in increasing panic. Then he pulled out his phone and called her, hoping she'd gotten on the train after all. But his call went straight to voicemail.

Jane ran up the escalator, propelled by adrenaline, and slapped his ID on the station manager's booth window. "My partner is missing," he said. "Stop the train that just left the station."

"What?"

"Stop that train!" Jane shouted, waving his ID again. "I'm FBI. My partner's on that train!"

"Sir, calm down, please," the station manager said, picking up the phone. But instead of issuing orders, he told the person on the other end that he needed security officers there right away.

Jane groaned in frustration and did the first thing that occurred to him: he called Cho. He didn't pause to say hello when the call was answered. "Cho, Lisbon's gone. Someone took her in a Metro station. I need the train that just left Rosslyn station stopped!"

"Got it," Cho said, and Jane heard him calling to Wiley, then Fischer. "Jane, calm down. We'll find her."

"Cho." Jane tried to get his breathing under control. "I need her back."

"What do you think's happened?" Cho asked.

"Pike had something somebody wants. They think Lisbon knows where it is, but she doesn't. They killed him, Cho. They won't be afraid to kill her too!" Jane felt himself start to hyperventilate and turned his focus to getting his body calmed down, even as two transit police officers with a German Shepherd approached.

"Abbott's getting on the phone with DC now," Cho said. "Wiley's tracking her phone."

"It's turned off. I already tried calling her," Jane said. "Cho, I have to explain things to the transit police now. Call me if you find her!"

"Don't get arrested," Cho replied. "I'm on my way."

Jane held onto that reassurance all through his explanations, the stopping of the train at Clarendon, and the search that failed to turn up Lisbon. Don Bradley arrived in time to hear the conclusion that Lisbon and her kidnappers must have gotten off at Courthouse, and they all went down to Metro headquarters to look at security footage.

At last, Jane spotted Lisbon in the grainy black and white image. She was swallowed up in a too-large sweatshirt with the hood pulled up and leaning heavily on a stocky male in similar attire, but it was her. He knew those graceful little hands and legs as well as he knew his own.

Bradley agreed with his identification. "Looks like her to me. We'll grab security camera footage from the surrounding areas and track them. Come on, Jane. You can call Dennis from our office. He's waiting for a report."

They wouldn't kill her right away, Jane assured himself. They'd try to get the information from her first. And while it made him sick to think of someone hurting her, she was strong. She would hold out a long time. Cho was on his way, and the DC office was mobilized, determined to find her. She'd been one of them not long ago, after all.

Why had he waited all this time? They could have been married by now if he hadn't been so wrapped up in his own idea of how things should be. The memory of her happiness this morning cut at him. He should have given her more of that.

He had to stop thinking like this. He needed to figure out what Lisbon's kidnapper wanted and find it, use it as leverage to get her back.

The DC office was bright and noisy and distracting. He needed someplace to think. The hotel room was out; he'd be reminded of Lisbon every second. Lisbon had been carrying the keys to Pike's apartment, and Jane didn't feel like persuading the manager to let him in.

Wandering DC by himself was also a bad plan, in case the kidnappers decided to snatch him as a way to persuade Lisbon to tell them what they wanted to know. While it was now the singular goal of his life to see her again, he wanted to be sure of her safety afterward.

With a sigh, Jane headed for the nearest break room, made himself a cup of tea, and sat in the corner.

He reviewed the clues at hand: Pike's sloppy murder. The FBI's conclusion that his death wasn't directly related to his casework. Someone's search through the apartment looking for something that Pike had. And now Lisbon being grabbed in a public place, presumably as part of the search for whatever it was Pike had died for.

Taking an FBI agent in broad daylight on a subway platform was daring. It argued for careful planning and resources, unlike Pike's murder. They had obviously drugged her with something fast-acting, because she hadn't been able to fight them off or call out to him for help.

Bradley had someone watching the hotel and apartment, so it was unlikely someone had followed them to the station. More likely, they'd been waiting there, knowing the route they had to take. Rosslyn was the only logical transfer point between the inbound Blue Line and outbound Orange Line trains, after all.

He wandered back to Bradley's office. "Check the Rosslyn security footage for our hoodie friend. He had to have been waiting for us. Maybe there's an angle that shows his face."

"Got it." Bradley gave the order to someone else. "Dennis tells me he's sending two of your team up here to help. They'll be here in a couple of hours."

"Good." He hoped it was Wiley with Cho, but he bet it was Fischer, armed with instructions to keep him and Cho from going rogue. As if she could stop them. Jane knew he could rely on Cho for anything that had a decent chance of saving Lisbon. And for himself, there were no limits to what he'd risk. There was no life for him without Lisbon, so he had nothing to lose.

Wandering back to the break room, he finished his cup of tea and tried calling her again. "I love you," he told her voicemail. It felt important to have that on the record, one more time.

As he was putting his phone away, it rang. Assuming it was Cho or Abbott, he was surprised to see an unfamiliar number. "Hello?"

"Hello, Mr. Jane," a male voice said. "Missing something?"

"If you hurt her, I'll kill you," Jane growled, quickly making his way to Bradley's office and pointing at his phone. There was a silent scramble around him as people went to work tracing the call.

"You'll have to find us first." The kidnapper sounded amused. Not an amateur, Jane noted, not nervous or hesitant. "I have something you want, and you have something I want. Surely we can come to a mutually satisfactory arrangement."

"I'm listening," Jane replied.

"The late Agent Pike had a printout of call records that have since been erased. I want it."

"We didn't find anything like that," Jane frowned.

"Then you'd better look again. Or the next funeral you attend will be Agent Lisbon's."

"Wait," Jane demanded. "How do I know you haven't already killed her?"

"She's alive and well, for now." There was a shuffle on the other end of the line, and then Lisbon's voice said, "Jane?"

"I'm here, Teresa," he assured her. "I'm coming to find you."

"Don't do anything stupid," she said breathlessly. He heard pain in her voice, underlying her distress.

"That's enough," the kidnapper interrupted. "I'll call back in 24 hours. If you don't have what I want, she's dead."

Jane stared down at the "call ended" message, then looked around him at the agents working the call. One of them shook his head at Bradley and said, "Burner phone. It's off now, and GPS wasn't enabled. We traced two towers but couldn't get the third."

Of course, Jane thought. "They're looking for a printout of a call log. We need to go through his papers again. All of them."

"Right." Bradley nodded. "Okay, people. Let's get started."

mmm

Jane usually left the boring paperwork to others more suited to the task, but time was of the essence here, and until he thought of something better to do, he was happy to put his brain to the task of digging through boxes of case files looking for call logs.

Time passed without his being aware of it; he only realized it was afternoon now when a hand landed on his shoulder and he looked up to see Cho standing beside him. Fischer was talking to Bradley nearby, glancing over at him in concern every few seconds.

"Bring me up to speed," Cho said, taking a seat.

Jane went over the situation as he knew it. Cho listened intently, then nodded at the stack of papers Jane was examining. "What does any of this have to do with Lisbon?"

Jane paused, struck. "Nothing. We're looking in the wrong place. Thank you, Cho."

Cho sat back. "Panic lowers the IQ. Figured I better come help you."

"And Fischer?"

"Making sure we don't do anything stupid."

"Fair enough," Jane said. Then he frowned. "The call log can't be case related if it has something to do with Lisbon. She and Pike haven't worked a case together since the Hennigan murder."

"But what was he doing with a call log if it wasn't work?" Cho asked.

Jane looked around. "We need to find Pike's version of Wiley. Weems!"

The older agent turned. "Yeah?"

"Who's your go-to tech guy here?"

"Gaynor."

"Get him for me." Jane turned back to Cho. "If we can't find the log, maybe we can recreate it, at least enough to find out who's threatened by it."

"None of this makes sense," Cho mused. "Lisbon wasn't in touch with him, was she?"

"No."

"Then how could she know anything?"

Jane felt his brain settle back into its groove and suppressed an impulse to hug his friend. "She doesn't. Not consciously, anyway."

"Then they took her to make you find it for them?"

"I think they tried to get it out of her first." Jane grimaced, imagining what she might have gone through. Hopefully whoever had her was smart enough to realize she wasn't lying when she claimed ignorance.

"Then it has to be something she might reasonably know. They searched the apartment, so it's not there."

"Lisbon said she didn't know of any hiding places," Jane said. "But Pike wanted her on this case. It has to be something she doesn't know she knows."

"Or something she doesn't know she has," Cho agreed.

Jane wanted to slap himself on the forehead. Grabbing his phone, he dialed Wiley. "Wiley. Drop what you're doing and go through Lisbon's mail. See if there's anything with a DC area postmark."

As he waited for Wiley to report back, Jane looked at Cho, who frowned and asked, "If it's not work related, wouldn't he send it to her home address?"

"Didn't have the new one memorized. He knew the office address. And he was in a hurry." Jane looked up as a tall woman with short dark hair stopped at his desk.

"Lisa Gaynor. You wanted to see me?"

Cho took over. "Did you run a search on phone logs for Marcus Pike within the past week?"

"Yeah, probably," she replied. "The art guys are always looking at connections."

"Can you check? Get us a copy?"

"I'll have a look."

Jane's attention went back to his phone as Gaynor moved off. "Yes, Wiley?"

"Got an envelope here with an Arlington, Virginia postmark," Wiley said.

"Open it."

"Uh. I don't think Agent Lisbon would—"

"Agent Lisbon is somewhere fighting for her life," Jane snapped. "Open it!"

There was the sound of ripping paper, and then Wiley said, "Uh, it's a letter. Handwritten. Should I, um, read it?"

"Anything else in the envelope?"

"Yeah. It's a printout. Looks like maybe calls from a cell phone?"

"Got it," Jane said to Cho. "Wiley, whose phone?"

"Gimme a sec." Jane heard a pause, then typing. "Pay as you go. Bought with cash from a Target in Arlington."

"Run every number on that list. No, better yet, scan it and email it to us. You get on a plane and bring me the list, with the letter and envelope."

"Um," Wiley said. "Is Agent Abbott—"

"I'll square it with Abbott. You get on the first flight to Reagan National. Right after you send me that list."

"Got it."

"Good man." Jane hung up. "Got it."

"Good. What do I need to tell Abbott?" Cho responded.

"Wait." Jane dialed Wiley again. "Wiley. Under my couch cushion is a small box. Bring it with you. Thanks."

Cho had his own phone out. "We need the original list, not just a copy?"

"I'm not taking chances," Jane replied.

Cho nodded and dialed Abbott.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: **I had this chapter mostly written before I posted the last one so as not to prolong your suspense. That makes me a little less evil, yes? ;)

**Chapter 10**

Lisbon tried to breathe through the pain, conjuring Jane's voice murmuring soothingly in her ear, telling her to let the pain drain out of her with each exhale. It helped her keep calm and not think about the sickening crack her fingers had made as they broke. At least the bastard couldn't know that since she'd broken her right wrist a couple of years ago, she could use a gun just as well with her left hand. If she could just get free from this chair and find hers, she'd show him he hadn't crippled her.

She was grateful her kidnapper didn't seem into violence; he hadn't struck her at all. And it had only taken two fingers, broken with cold, dispassionate speed, for him to decide she was telling the truth. Well, that and whatever drug he'd given her. Then he'd had the idea to use her as a hostage and put Jane to work looking for the call log he wanted.

Which was weird. Why care about a call log if it wasn't part of a case? What could possibly be so important about it that someone would kill Marcus, then orchestrate her kidnapping?

And more importantly, where the hell was it?

Jane would find it. She was absolutely sure of that. He'd find it and trick her kidnapper into revealing where she was, and then he'd be here, peeking over the shoulders of a SWAT team. He'd better have a SWAT team and not do something stupid like come alone.

God, she hoped Abbott had the sense to send Cho up here to keep Jane from going crazy. Her heart ached to rival her broken fingers when she thought of Jane realizing she was gone and the terrible desperation he must be feeling. How many times had he told her she was his reason for living, that he would never find the strength to go on without her?

The fact that her captor had worn a mask comforted her, as it argued he intended to let her go. But she couldn't count on that. She had to stay on her guard, no matter how much she ached from being tied to a chair for hours and having her fingers broken. She had to get out of here alive. For Jane's sake.

She found herself praying, as she had so often when they got close to Red John: _Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the Divine Power of God, cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls._

_Please_, she added as she had for so many years, _don't let this be the ruin of Patrick's soul._

mmm

Jane was ready to force his way through airport security by the time Wiley's delayed flight landed. He was stopped only by Cho's expression, which clearly said, "Go ahead, be someone else's problem for a while." While Cho and Fischer might be okay with the idea of him spending the night in TSA custody, he had no intention of restricting his options so radically.

He'd never get a gun off Cho, but maybe Fischer wouldn't be expecting it? No, he bet Cho had warned her to check her pockets every time Jane was within reach. Lovers had privileges partners did not. Cho's loyalty to Lisbon was absolute, but Jane suspected Fischer now outranked him.

Wasn't DC supposed to be crime ridden? Maybe he could pick up a weapon on a street corner somewhere.

"Stop it," Cho said.

"What? I'm just standing here."

"You're thinking."

"Which is what the FBI pays me to do. Though, admittedly, not very much," Jane replied.

Fischer rolled her eyes. "Freedom is priceless."

"Meh. Lots of good reading time in prison. Plus, I could make more in one poker game than Abbott pays me in a year. Two, even."

"But then you couldn't spend your days making googly eyes at Lisbon," Fischer pointed out.

Ah, the fatal flaw. "I refuse to admit ever having made googly eyes at anyone," Jane said, wrinkling his nose in distaste. "But your point is sound. Lack of Lisbon is an unacceptable condition."

Fischer's expression softened. "We'll get her back, Jane."

"Yes, we will," he agreed, because any other outcome was unthinkable.

They fell silent until at last Wiley's blond head appeared in the crowd. He waved when he saw them, grinning briefly before taking in their serious expressions and altering his to match. "Hey," he said breathlessly, digging in his duffel bag and handing an envelope and small jewelry box to Jane.

"Thanks." Jane put the letter in his jacket pocket and slipped the ring box in his pants pocket. Gaynor was already running down the numbers on the list, all burner phones paid for in cash so far. He'd keep the printout safe, though surely the kidnapper would realize they'd make a copy? "We need to run prints, look for something beyond the obvious," he murmured, mostly to himself.

He'd keep Pike's letter to Lisbon to himself, though. She wouldn't want something so personal circulating around the FBI. And the ring box would stay hidden until he saw Lisbon again.

"Let's go," Cho urged.

"Uh, have you guys had dinner? There was nothing on the plane," Wiley said eagerly.

"We'll order in. You staying the night?" Cho asked him.

"Yeah, Abbott said to stay here and help you guys but not to get sucked into any crazy plans."

Jane snapped, "My plans should be judged on their success, not against some bureaucratic nonsense."

"Right," Wiley said uncertainly as they started for the exit, casting a longing glance at the Legal Seafoods as they passed.

mmm

He had to read the letter for the sake of the investigation, of course. Pike must have included some explanation for sending a cryptic printout, and when pressed, Wiley admitted he'd only read the first line. He looked up to Lisbon like a big sister and had a healthy respect for her temper. Cho and Fischer weren't eager to intrude on her privacy either. Jane would take one for the team; Lisbon might snark at him, but she would expect him to indulge his curiosity even if her life weren't at stake.

While everyone else munched on curry and sweet basil chicken, Jane grabbed a cup of tom yam soup and found the quietest corner of the break room again. He spread the letter on the table as he spooned soup into his mouth, looking for variations in handwriting. The front of the page had been written carefully, neatly, with no hesitation strokes or blots where the pen rested while the writer thought. Jane bet this was a copy of an earlier draft, possibly the last iteration of several.

Turning the paper over, Jane found what he was looking for. The last paragraph featured cramped, hurried writing, barely legible in places. This was the part he needed to pay attention to.

_I hope I'm wrong, but just in case, I'm sending you this. You'll know what to do with it. Whatever happens, Teresa, I'm glad to know you. You're the strongest woman I've ever met, and I hope you'll be happy. I hope Jane appreciates you the way you deserve. Every woman I've met pales in comparison to you, but you showed me what to look for. I hope I'll find her one day._

_Love,_

_Marcus_

Jane frowned. Those were not the words of a happily engaged man. Or even an unhappily engaged one.

He tucked the letter back into his jacket pocket and went out to where Wiley was shoveling curry into his mouth with one hand and typing with the other. "I need a phone number," Jane said.

"Yeah? Whose?" Wiley looked up eagerly.

"Amy Richardson."

Weems looked up. "We looked into her. She's clean as far as we could tell. I have her contact info."

"Great. Phone number?" Jane went over to Weems' desk, accepting the sticky note with the hastily scribbled number on it. "Thanks. What's her work schedule?"

"No idea," Weems replied.

"Want me to get it?" Wiley volunteered.

"No warrant," Weems pointed out.

Jane turned and winked at Wiley, who grinned and turned back to his computer. One cup of tea later, Wiley texted him: _Flight to Rome tonight. Leaves in four hours._

Perfect, Jane thought, dialing as Cho came in to search the refrigerator for something to drink. "Amy?" He made sure his voice was shaky, uncertain. Bereft. It was frighteningly easy.

"Patrick? Everything okay?"

"I—I'm sorry to call so late. But I don't have any friends here." Jane waved a hand indicating Cho should disregard what he was saying.

"What's happened?" Amy asked. "Are you okay?"

"No. No, I'm not. They took Teresa, and I know the FBI is doing everything they can, but I'm scared things will go wrong. I can't—I can't lose her, Amy." He didn't have to fake the terror in his voice.

"I'm so sorry," Amy said. "Oh, Patrick. That's awful. What can I do?"

"Meet me? For a drink? I just really need someone to talk to," Jane said miserably.

"Well, I—"

"Please? I really need a friend right now."

Cho folded his arms and watched.

"Okay. Are you downtown? There's a bar in Crystal City some of my friends like to go to. We could meet there." She gave him directions from the Metro. "Half an hour?"

"Perfect. Thank you, Amy. Thank you so much." Jane hung up.

Cho said, "Laying it on a little thick, weren't you?"

"Meh. You haven't met her. Did Fischer pack date clothes?"

Cho raised his eyebrows. "You'd have to ask her."

Jane got up and made his way to Wiley's desk. "I need a GPS tracker," he said quietly. "Think you can get one for me?"

"You bet." Wiley grinned up at him. "I'd love an excuse to go meet the tech guys."

"And gals," Jane added, savoring the way Wiley's face lit up as he got out of his seat.

Fischer came over, looking suspicious. "What are you up to?"

"The question, Kim, is what are you up to? Did you bring anything suitable for a hot date?"

Everyone's heads swiveled toward them. Fischer frowned. "No. And I know you're not asking me out, so I repeat, what are you up to?"

Cho joined them, coming to stand at Fischer's side. "He wants us to go to a bar while he cons Pike's fiancée."

"I doubt very much she really was his fiancée," Jane replied, "and I need you as a distraction. She won't notice I'm playing her if she's busy watching you two make out in a dark corner. But the businesswear doesn't really work, so—"

Weems spoke up. "They're fine. Everybody wears work clothes in Washington on a weeknight. Short of an inaugural ball, you're always okay in a dark suit."

Jane looked around him and had to admit there were an alarming number of dark suits on both the men and women. "All right. We don't really have time for shopping anyway. You guys should get there before me."

"See you there," Cho replied, nodding to Fischer.

mmm

Crystal City was not only next to Reagan National Airport but home to a surprising number of people out drinking on a weeknight. As Jane entered the bar, he fingered the GPS tracker in his pocket and made a note to do something nice for Wiley, who'd not only come through with the technology but had done enough research to inform Jane that no direct flights to Europe left from National. Dulles Airport, where Amy's flight was scheduled to depart, was an hour's drive from here. Jane couldn't decide whether Amy was skipping work or had adopted the identity of someone who was conveniently frequently absent. A roommate, perhaps? The woman was fake to her core, so he wouldn't put anything past her.

His instincts had twitched at their first meeting, but he'd been focused on Lisbon, and then on keeping Amy away from her. His heart hurt as he imagined Lisbon in the hands of someone who obviously hated her. He had to get her back, and he had to do it tonight.

Amy waved to him from a high table toward the back. As he approached, she got down from her chair and hugged him. "You poor man," she sighed into his ear.

Jane was thankful she'd made it laughably easy to slip the GPS into her skirt pocket, but he had to exert stern control over himself to keep from recoiling. She felt all wrong against him, too tall and angular. And she smelled of plumeria instead of cinnamon. But he made himself grip her as if she were a life preserver. "I'm just so scared for her," he murmured.

"Oh, I know. I know," she soothed, rubbing his back.

Jane let out a gusty sigh and pulled back, then pulled out Amy's chair for her. He was pleased to see it offered a clear view of Cho and Fischer indulging in a blatant display of public affection. That should serve as a nice distraction, especially since Fischer was unbuttoning Cho's shirt to reveal a glimpse of muscles sure to catch attention.

Jane moped and stared morosely into a succession of drinks while Amy pretended sympathy and slid her hand onto his knee, then slowly up his thigh. The situation would have struck him as absurd if Lisbon wasn't involved. Was she really so vain she thought she could seduce a man desperately worried about his lover? She'd have to believe he was stupid drunk, surely. So he set about making himself appear inebriated, with an accompanying emotional disintegration.

Amy was definitely distracted by Cho and Fischer, licking her lips when she looked in their direction, which was often. That helped, but Jane was impatient. He wished he had something to slip into her drink to speed things up. "I gotta stop drinking," he slurred. "Gotta be sober when the kidnapper calls. Gotta give him this." He patted his chest, making the printout in his jacket pocket crinkle.

Amy's pupils dilated. "What is it? Money?"

"Huh. No. I got money, though. Lots. And I'd give it all to get Teresa back safe." He fixed a slightly mad stare on Amy. "I'd pay a queen's ransom to the person who brought her back to me. 'Cause she is a queen. My queen." He took another sip of his martini. "Most powerful piece on the chessboard. I'm powerless without her."

"No, you're not. You'll get her back. It's easy, right? You give them what they want and they give her back."

"Maybe," Jane sighed. "Or maybe I give them what they want and...and she turns up in a gutter somewhere." His voice cracked and went hoarse, and he swallowed hard.

"But they have no reason to kill her, right?" Amy tried to soothe him. "I mean, she's an FBI agent. Killing her only makes trouble. If they're smart they'll just take what they need and disappear."

"Then I hope they're smart. But not too smart. I know they've hurt her. I could hear it in her voice." He clenched his fists on the table. "Did I tell you I killed a man with my bare hands? He murdered my wife and daughter. And a lot of other people. Then he threatened Lisbon. He tortured me with that threat. He wanted to hurt her, kill her slowly and horribly, and for me to know it was my fault." Jane gave a feral smile that made Amy withdraw her hand. "Nobody hurts my Lisbon and lives. Nobody."

Amy bit her lip, then got to her feet a little unsteadily. "It's late, Patrick. We should go. I'll grab a cab and take you to your hotel so you can sleep, okay?"

Jane let her coax him out of his chair, drawing out his wallet and throwing a wad of bills on the table. He'd already calculated their tab and made sure he included a hefty tip for the mess he'd made knocking over a drink earlier.

Leaning heavily on Amy, he staggered toward the door and into a cab, then pretended to fall asleep. He'd hoped Amy would just take him to her place, or better yet, wherever Lisbon was, but instead she kept shaking him until he muttered the name of the hotel. Annoyed, Jane made sure to drool on her shoulder during the brief ride to Old Town, and he let himself be mostly dead weight as she hauled him out of the cab and through the lobby.

When they reached the room, Jane slouched on the bed, thinking miserably about how his day had started. Amy regarded him in poorly concealed exasperation, no doubt planning her next move. After a moment she asked, "Can I make you some coffee?"

"No!" The idea of Amy touching Lisbon's coffee things repulsed him. "I, uh, don't drink coffee. I'm fine. Really. Jus' need to sleep a little. Then go get Teresa." He let himself topple over, his face pressed into the pillow.

"Patrick," Amy scolded, "you can't sleep in your suit. Come on. At least take your jacket off."

Ah ha, Jane thought gleefully as he let her wrestle his jacket off. He pretended to close his eyes, and she turned, swiftly plucking the printout from the inside pocket and sliding it into her purse.

Then, before he could roll over, Amy bent and stole a kiss. "Sweet dreams, Patrick," she whispered.

Then she was gone. Jane sat up, shook himself, and took his phone out of his pocket. "Wiley, she went for it. You got her?"

"Yep," Wiley said. "Cho wants to know if you're coming back to the office."

"Tell him to come get me. And to hurry." Jane hung up. He rubbed his hands on his thighs, then got up to make a cup of tea to help his biofeedback along, trying without success not to let every one of Lisbon's possessions stab at his heart.

_I'm coming to get you_, he promised the image of her in his head. _Soon_.

mmm

As he'd suspected, his phone rang again a few minutes after Wiley reported Amy had entered a building and appeared to be staying there. Cho had arrived at the hotel room almost half an hour before, standing near the window and pointedly not looking at the bed. Jane added a weekend at a romantic hotel for Cho and Fischer to his mental list of things to buy once this mess was behind them.

"Mr. Jane? I hope I didn't wake you."

"Let me talk to Lisbon," Jane demanded.

"She's asleep."

"Let me talk to her!"

The answering chuckle made him want to reach through the phone and throttle the kidnapper. "Fine. She's been sedated for the night, so she may not feel like a chat, but I'll try."

Jane listened intently to the sound of footsteps. Not a carpeted surface; wood, he thought. Then he heard the kidnapper say, "Wakey, wakey, Agent Lisbon."

A moan of pain sent a chill down Jane's spine. "Don't hurt her!" he protested.

"Jane?" Lisbon's voice was slurred, but it was unmistakably her.

"I'm here, Teresa," Jane hurried to assure her. "I'm going to take you home soon."

"I'm glad to hear that," the kidnapper said. Jane heard footsteps again, then the closing of a door. "I hope you found what I asked you for?"

"Yes, I did."

"Where was it?"

Jane saw no reason to lie. "In Teresa's mail. I had a friend bring it up here to me."

"Smart of you. Good. Because it occurs to me that it might be wise to disappear for a while, and that takes money. So when you bring the printout, bring along a hundred thousand dollars."

Jane forced the grin off his face before replying, "How am I supposed to do that?"

"That's your problem. But do it before noon. I'll call you back with the meeting place and time."

"Wait—" Jane protested, but the call had ended.

"They went for it?" Cho asked.

"Oh, yes. I knew Amy was greedy. It was written all over her," Jane replied.

"But they have the printout. Why don't they just take off?"

"Because they're greedy," Jane said with exaggerated patience.

Cho gave him an annoyed look. "I got that. But they've been smart so far. Maybe they're just buying time for their escape."

"Greed makes smart people stupid," Jane said, looking Cho in the eye. "Trust me, I know."

Cho held his gaze for a moment, then looked away. "Okay. So what now? If you need money, should we head for the nearest casino?"

"No need. It's morning in Switzerland. A wire transfer to a local bank will do." Jane greatly enjoyed having surprised Cho. "But there's no need, since I have no intention of giving a dime to anyone who hurt Lisbon." He dialed Wiley. "I just got the call. Different number." He recited the phone number to Wiley, who began typing furiously.

"Sorry," Wiley said. "Another burner phone."

"Is Amy still in the same location?"

"Yeah."

"Great. Thanks." Jane hung up and called Fischer. "We need to move on Amy Richardson's location."

"Now?" Fischer exclaimed.

"Now," Jane confirmed, then hung up.

Cho's phone rang a second later. "Yeah. No. Yeah. Be right there." He hung up and looked at Jane. "If you're coming, you're wearing a vest."

"Then get me a vest," Jane replied.

mmm

Lisbon faded in and out of consciousness; the drug made her sleep, but any twitch of her broken fingers shocked her awake with fiery pain shooting up her arm. She had a hard time sorting out dreams and reality. Everything jumbled together: Jane's voice making her heart leap, Amy taunting her about how soft Jane's lips were, and someone pulling at her hair and putting a phone in her face. So when she heard shouting, she thought she was dreaming, but when the door to the room opened and light hit her, she thought it might be real.

Her kidnapper approached, his face uncovered, and she dimly realized he was here to kill her. She tried to move the chair away from him, presenting a narrower profile to the gun as she'd been trained, kicking out as he got close enough. He yelped as she connected, then stepped back and raised the gun.

_Jane, I'm sorry_, she thought, toppling the chair over in desperation as the gun fired. Her head hit the hard floor, and everything went black.

mmm

The sound of gunfire snapped Jane's tenuous control, and he pushed forward frantically, evading Fischer's attempt to grab his sleeve. He had to squeeze through two SWAT guys in the doorway, taking in the bodies and blood on the floor and freezing in horror. He thought he might throw up, eyes fastened on the way Lisbon's short hair fanned across her face, the ends glistening with red.

Dimly, he heard a sharp crack and his perspective shifted. It was only when Cho knelt in front of him, blocking his view, that he realized he'd fallen to his knees.

Cho reached for Lisbon, and Jane gave a choking cry. "Don't touch her!"

"She's alive, Jane," Cho said, feeling for her pulse. "The blood's his."

Jane fell forward on his hands, his vision greying and his stomach roiling as though he was about to throw up.

"Jane, breathe," Cho commanded from what sounded like a long way away. "Breathe."

Jane closed his eyes and tried to obey. Focusing on his breathing, he managed to break through the vise constricting his lungs and get his heart beating normally instead of galloping unsteadily.

From somewhere behind him, Fischer announced, "Look who we found on the fire escape."

Growling, Jane sprang to his feet and knocked Amy out of Fischer's grip, pushing her against the wall and holding her there by her throat. Her eyes rolled wildly as she struggled to speak.

"Jane!" Fischer shouted.

He ignored her, his gaze boring into Amy. "I told you I killed a man, didn't I? A man who killed my family and threatened Lisbon. He made me think she was dead once. I found her unconscious and bloody. Did I tell you how I killed him? Like this. I choked the life out of him with this very hand."

"Jane, shut up!" Fischer hissed desperately.

"Feel it, Amy? Your neck's smaller; it'd be so much easier to crush your windpipe. Remember that when you're talking to Agent Cho about what you've done and why. You tell him everything. Everything, you understand? Or else I'll come visit you in jail and remind you. Only next time I will show you no mercy."

He let go of her with a look of disgust, turning away as Fischer went to help the sputtering Amy and going back through the doorway to kneel beside Lisbon.

Cho said, "Get her out of here. And someone call the paramedics!"

Jane gently moved Lisbon's head into his lap, brushing the hair back from her face. She lifted a hand, then gave a mewl of pain.

Cho said, "She's got two broken fingers. Careful."

Jane felt the rage well up in him again, but he was careful not to disturb Lisbon as he gently checked her for further injuries. "I'm here, Teresa," he whispered to her. "I'm here."

Then he wiped a salty droplet from her cheek, closing his eyes to prevent more tears from falling.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: **And here's the explanatory chapter. I hope you're not disappointed! It's been so much fun to read your guesses. I'll have to try plotting more often. There will be an epilogue after this and then we're done, I think. My muse has already let me know I can find her in Beirut...

**Chapter 11**

Lisbon woke suddenly, not sure where she was, but relaxed as soon as she realized the warm body pressed up against her was Jane. She'd woken in hospital beds before, and she'd woken up next to Jane regularly for the past few months, but never both at once.

Taking a quick inventory, she decided her throbbing head and aching fingers were her only injuries. She was lying on her back, leaving Jane huddled on his side in danger of falling off the edge, so she carefully scooted over and turned to face him, searching his sleeping form anxiously. He seemed unhurt, but the lines on his stubbled face were deeper than she'd seen them since she'd moved back to Austin.

Smoothing a stray curl from his forehead with her good hand, she leaned over to kiss his lips gently. He snuffled against the pillow, then reached out an arm to draw her close again, throwing a leg across hers for good measure.

"I'm here, Patrick," she whispered, her voice scratchy. She tucked one leg between his and maneuvered her right arm to lay across his waist, her splinted fingers dangling at his back, out of harm's way.

He mumbled something that might have been her first name, fitting himself more closely against her, and relaxed into a deep sleep again. He must be exhausted, she thought.

This was the first time she'd been in serious danger since they'd become a couple, and it couldn't have been easy for him to confront the possibility of her death. In the back of her mind, she'd always worried about this situation happening and what it would mean to their relationship. Had he been overwhelmed, pitched back into that dark loneliness where he'd spent so many years? Would he pull away from her again, falling back into his belief that bad things happened to people who got close to him? Or would he hover for a while and then settle back into their life together?

She prayed it would be the latter.

A nurse came in, smiling when she saw Lisbon was awake. "Good morning," she said.

"Don't wake him up, please," Lisbon whispered as Jane stirred.

"I'm Laurel," she said in a quieter voice. "How are you feeling? Your boyfriend really shouldn't be in the bed."

"He had a tough day yesterday," Lisbon replied.

"You had a tougher one, I think." Laurel checked the monitors. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. Except for my fingers, they didn't hurt me."

"You got a pretty good whack to the head. Between that and the sedative, you gave us a scare. Apparently you decided breathing was optional for a while. They just moved you out of the ICU two hours ago, and I guess that's when Patrick came off his adrenaline high."

Oh God. Jane really had been confronted with her possible death. She tightened her arm around his waist, imagining his terror. Wait. What was that bulge in his pants pocket?

"You're looking much better," Laurel assured her. "The doctor will be in to see you in about an hour, and then we'll see about getting you some breakfast, okay?"

Lisbon's stomach growled. She hadn't eaten in 24 hours, she realized. "Great. Thanks."

When the nurse was gone, Lisbon worked her left hand into Jane's pocket, catching her breath when she felt the small velvety box there. Carefully, she drew it out, biting her lip as she opened it to reveal the beautiful round emerald mounted in intertwining strands of tiny diamonds. It was intricate and gorgeous without being flashy, and she'd never seen anything so beautiful in her life.

Blinking back tears, Lisbon realized her question was answered. Jane wasn't going to push her away or disappear again, not with this in his pocket. He obviously intended to make good on his promises to her yesterday morning, and very soon, too.

She slid the box back into his pocket, smiling. She'd let him propose according to whatever plan he'd concocted, and she'd do her best to act surprised by the ring. It was the least she could do for him after what he'd been through. She felt her love for him swelling inside her until she thought she would burst.

Jane came awake to her kiss, responding eagerly and slipping his tongue past her lips. After a very pleasant minute, they separated, beaming at each other.

"Are you okay?" Jane whispered, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs.

"Yeah," she whispered back. "I'm good. You?"

"I'm okay if you're okay," he replied, kissing the tip of her nose. "I missed you."

She smiled. "I missed you too. I thought about you a lot. I imagined what you'd tell me to do with the pain, and it helped."

His wince was only momentary, but she recognized it. He had his smile back in place before he said, "Good. Hey, Cho and Fischer and Wiley are here. They'll be by when visiting hours start."

"What happened?"

"Marcus sent you a letter, along with the printout they were looking for. I had Wiley bring it. Cho and Fischer came up as soon as I reported you'd been taken. I knew Amy was involved, so I met her for drinks, slipped a GPS tracker into her pocket, encouraged her to steal the printout from me, and voila. She thought she had the upper hand, so she led us right to you."

"Fell right into your trap, huh?"

"Of course. I was too highly motivated to fail."

She was pleased to see his cocky grin looked genuine. "And when are they coming to arrest you?" she teased.

"Like I would let anyone lock me up where I can't see you," he scoffed. Then his amused expression faded into a solemn one. "I don't want to be without you ever again. I don't...I don't like who I am without you." One corner of his mouth turned up. "That guy is an idiot."

"I've been trying to tell you that for years," she said gently, then kissed him. "So what was with the printout?"

"No idea. Hopefully Cho is getting the whole story for us."

Lisbon couldn't help but be touched that Jane's natural curiosity had been so completely squelched by his concern for her. "Oh, I see. As usual, you're taking a nap while everybody else does the work."

"Well, some of us were awake all night," he replied. "Unlike you, lolly gagging in bed like Sleeping Beauty while various medical personnel tried to wake you up."

Lisbon gave him a worried look. "The nurse said I stopped breathing. Must have scared you, huh?"

"Oh, Teresa," he sighed, pressing a kiss into her hair. "I think my heart stopped. Don't ever do that again, okay? I don't know what I'd do if I never saw those beautiful eyes again." He placed a pair of gentle kisses on her eyelids. "If you never raised your eyebrows to tell me you think I'm full of shit." He kissed each one. "If you never scrunched up your nose at something I said." He kissed the tip of it. "If you never frowned at me with those pouty lips." He pressed his against hers. "If you never snarked at me with that sharp tongue of yours." He slid his tongue into her mouth and sucked on hers.

"Mm," she hummed as they pulled back, "you're not getting off the hook that easy."

"Good. Because I love your hook. Just like I love the rest of you."

Lisbon snickered, and Jane grinned at her. "Yeah, there's a dirty joke there that I just can't quite assemble."

"You must be tired," she said, stroking his cheek with her good hand. "You can go back to sleep if you want. The doctor won't be here for a while."

"Nah, I'm good. Are you comfortable? I'm not crowding you, am I?"

"Just try moving," she growled, clutching a handful of his shirt before kissing him again.

mmm

Jane was alarmed and unhappy when the doctor agreed with Lisbon that she didn't need to stay in the hospital. "Frankly, you'll get more rest back in your hotel," he said cheerfully. "Your x-rays show your skull's intact, and you're clear of the sedative, so I see no reason to keep you. Just take it easy, try not to jar your fingers, and check in with your doctor when you get home."

"Thanks." Lisbon's smile was brilliant.

Jane knew when he'd lost a battle, so as he helped Lisbon get dressed, he prepared for the next one: getting Lisbon to go to the hotel instead of the office. It was nearly lunchtime, so as they waited with different levels of impatience for the discharge paperwork to arrive, he called Cho. "Hey, Cho. How's it going?"

"Amy has a top notch lawyer. You may get arrested for assault by the end of the day," Cho replied. "How's Lisbon?"

"She's great. In fact they're letting her out. Want to meet for lunch?"

"Yeah, sounds great. But we need to talk, so why don't you come here? We'll order in and grab a conference room."

Jane sighed. It seemed this wasn't going to be his day. Though perhaps Lisbon would be better off in a quiet, private place than in a noisy crowded restaurant. "Okay." He could convince her to rest after she'd caught up on the case. If necessary, he'd bribe her with Pike's letter, which he was sure she'd want to read by herself.

"What does Lisbon want for lunch?" Cho asked.

Jane lifted the phone away and turned to her. "Cho's ordering us lunch. What's your preference?"

"Oh." She looked surprised, then eager. "There's this Greek place near the office. Their spanakopita is the best. Oh, and grape leaves!"

Jane had never seen Lisbon so enthused about food. He'd make sure she got this meal if he had to go get it himself. But for now he put the phone back to his ear in time to hear Cho relaying the instructions. "Get plenty, Cho. Lisbon hasn't had real food in a day now."

"Will do. See you soon."

Lisbon frowned. "Remind me to pay Cho back."

"I got this, love." He'd encourage her to stuff herself and then take her back to the hotel to sleep off the food coma. A foolproof plan, surely.

mmm

Jane's ability to multitask was severely tested over lunch. He needed to listen to Cho and Fischer, but he was distracted by the rare spectacle of Lisbon wolfing down food like a starving waif. There must be at least one Greek place in Austin, and he resolved to find it. Or learn to make grape leaves himself. Or both. It was a good thing he already knew the Heimlich; he was worried Lisbon might forget to chew.

Nothing he was hearing surprised him, anyway. The kidnapper was named Jeff Rehmer, with several arrests but no convictions on his record, though the DC police suspected him of ties to a local gang. He'd died instantly when Cho shot him, reacting to Rehmer's shot at Lisbon, which had missed her as she toppled over and embedded itself in the wall.

Amy claimed to have known Rehmer through a mutual friend but to be unaware of his criminal past. She said she'd been shocked when he told her to get the printout from Jane or he'd kill Lisbon, and she'd only gone through with it because she knew Marcus would have wanted her to. It was all errant nonsense, but it might play well with a jury. Jane wasn't ready to share Pike's letter before Lisbon had seen it, but it would cast doubt on her story at the very least. A good prosecutor could demolish her claim to be his fiancée if there were no receipt for the ring among his financials, added to the fact that none of his friends had been aware of his engagement.

Jane anticipated telling everyone he knew once Lisbon formally agreed to marry him. He might throw an engagement party, even. A billboard was not entirely out of the question.

"What made the call log so important?" Lisbon asked as she paused to wipe her chin with a napkin.

Fischer sighed. "That, we don't know."

"Yes, we do!" Wiley burst in the door, grinning. "Ooo, grape leaves."

"Have one," Lisbon offered, pushing the container in his direction.

Wiley glanced at Jane, who had been known to snap at people who took food intended for Lisbon. But Jane calculated that she had already consumed about two meals' worth of calories, so he felt no need to interfere. Wiley happily took a stuffed grape leaf, but before he could put it in his mouth, Cho said, "Talk first, eat later."

"Right. Lisa and I finished cross referencing all these numbers against all the ones in Agent's Pike's phone. No matches. Then we took a chance and worked through all the numbers associated with the suspects in the international ring Agent Pike's team broke up a few weeks ago. We got a match. But they're all burner phones, so all that tells us is that the person who had this burner phone was in contact with one of the thieves a month ago."

Fischer frowned. "So it was work related?"

"That's the thing." Wiley took a seat. "The phone this log came from wasn't associated with the thieves until now. I mean, nobody was investigating it. If Rehmer and Richardson hadn't made such a big deal about getting it, we wouldn't have noticed or cared. How stupid is that?" He took a bite of the grape leaf and made an approving noise. "These are even better than the taverna at home."

Jane made a mental note to find out which taverna Wiley meant while the rest of his brain was pondering the stupidity of the criminal mind. One criminal mind in particular.

Cho said, "Jane, any thoughts?"

"I think," he said slowly, "that even criminals get hungry. Any eating establishments on the list of calls?"

"Yeah." Wiley sounded surprised. "One. A Chinese place."

Cho said, "Find out for sure. We need the date and time too."

"Okay. Um, why?"

"The problem with carrying around a secret cell phone for your nefarious activities," Jane said, "is that it requires a perfect memory. Otherwise you end up slipping up and doing something like, say, ordering Chinese to your boyfriend's apartment with the wrong phone. Which is probably okay, except he kept the delivery receipt. And because he's an FBI agent investigating art theft, a crime for which a job as a flight attendant to international destinations would be perfect, he notices the strange number and investigates. But he does it outside of work because he's your boyfriend and he wants to be sure before he casts suspicions on you. And even when he realizes your burner cell is connected to his last big bust, he doesn't turn you in. He confronts you about it instead. Because it could have been a wrong number, right? But it wasn't. And you panic and shoot him. Then you run. But later you realize he must have evidence somewhere, and you go back to try to find it. But the ex-girlfriend and her handsome, brilliant current love interest are already there, and Marcus was smart enough to mail his evidence to an agent he trusted before he confronted you."

Lisbon had stopped eating to stare at him. "So Amy is an art thief."

"An art smuggler," Jane clarified. "Meant to operate without much contact with the thieves, as part of a larger operation, I believe."

Cho said, "So she hired Rehmer to get the keys off you to search the place, and when that didn't work, she had him kidnap Lisbon."

"Yes. She wasn't the brains behind the operation, obviously," Jane said.

Fischer said, "This is all conjecture. We need something solid."

"So search Amy's place," Jane said.

"We have. Turned up nothing."

"Gym locker key? Storage unit? With the thieves arrested, she's probably sitting on her last batch of smuggled art, afraid to try to move it in case the distribution network is compromised. And I think you'll find the murder weapon in the same place."

"We'll take a look," Cho said. "Want to observe while we run this past Amy and her lawyer?"

"No," Jane said. "I'm taking Lisbon back to the hotel to rest, as her doctor ordered."

"We can watch," Lisbon protested.

"We can leave it in the capable hands of our colleagues," Jane replied. "Then I will treat them all to case closed pizza while we finish packing up Pike's apartment."

"Cool," Wiley grinned.

"Uh huh," Cho said. "It's not case closed pizza if it's also moving bribery pizza."

Jane gave a sigh of mock frustration. "Fine. Then case closed pizza and bribery beer."

Fischer said, "Throw in a cab ride back to our hotel and I'm in."

"Of course," Jane smiled. "Go get her, guys. Call me when you're done." He got up and pulled Lisbon's chair back. She stifled a yawn and grabbed for the last grape leaf as she got up, but she didn't protest, which told him she was tired or hurting or both. It was high time she rested.

mmm

Lisbon rarely slept during the day, but she was exhausted. It was almost dinner time when she woke alone in the hotel room, finding a note from Jane on the pillow beside her.

_My dearest Teresa,_

_I'm at Pike's apartment continuing the packing, with plenty of reinforcements. No need for you to join us; I won't be out late. I placed an order for your dinner with room service to be delivered at seven. And I've left you some reading material on the desk. I read only the last paragraph, but I hope you find comfort in it._

_Love,_

_Patrick_

_PS—Call me if you want to talk._

Lisbon took a deep breath. She'd all but forgotten Jane had mentioned a letter from Marcus, with everything else going on. She was both desperate and terrified to know what it said.

Rubbing at her face, she took a deep breath. She should take advantage of this time alone to read what would probably be an emotional letter. She was grateful to Jane for giving her the space to do so, though she suspected he was using it to make sure she didn't exert herself packing.

She got out of bed and went to freshen up in the bathroom, then opened the bottle of water Jane had left on the nightstand and took a drink. Finally she could find no more excuses to put off reading the letter and went over to the desk.

_Dear Teresa,_

_I'm sorry it has taken me so long to write to you. Please know that I got your letter, and I appreciate your trying to explain why you decided to go back to Austin. I wish I could say it surprised me that you chose to be with Jane, but I always knew he meant a great deal to you. I just didn't know the feeling was romantic, or mutual. I believe you when you say you didn't either. But I'm happy for you. Not everybody gets the chance to be with the person they love. And I know how much you missed him. You tried not to let me see, but every now and then I'd catch the awful sadness in your eyes when you were reminded of him._

_I'm not angry with you. And I don't want you to be down on yourself for hurting me. I know you didn't set out to. I know you tried to be happy here, and it wasn't easy with me being gone so much. It wasn't exactly what I hoped for us either, and I felt bad leaving you alone in a strange city with a new job, knowing you'd left your friends behind for my sake. I wish I could have given you more. But I guess it wouldn't have mattered, would it? You'd loved Jane for so long. Of course you wanted to give him a chance when he finally came to his senses. I'd have done the same in your position. Anybody would._

_You deserve to be happy, Teresa, and I hope you will be. When you think of me, if you think of me, I hope it's as a friend. I will always think of you as one, and regret that we weren't meant to be more._

_I miss you, but otherwise things are going well. I found someone at work to go to games with when I'm in town. I've gotten to know some of the flight attendants on my regular routes, one in particular. She's sort of consoled me. It helps that she's nothing like you, though at times I wish she were, a little._

_I hope I'm wrong, but just in case, I'm sending you this. You'll know what to do with it. Whatever happens, Teresa, I'm glad to know you. You're the strongest woman I've ever met, and I hope you'll be happy. I hope Jane appreciates you the way you deserve. Every woman I've met pales in comparison to you, but you showed me what to look for. I hope I'll find her one day._

_Love,_

_Marcus_

Lisbon saw immediately that the last paragraph had been added in a hurry, and why Jane had zeroed in on it. Wiping tears away, she folded the letter carefully and tucked it into her suitcase. Jane wouldn't mind if she kept it, she thought.

She let herself weep a little, until dinner arrived. As she ate, she reflected on her two loves. Marcus was a good man who'd done his best for her and had died trying to catch a criminal. Jane was a complicated man with a good heart who was obsessive about her health and diet. And her emotional wellbeing. And who'd brought Marcus' killer to justice.

Or at least she hoped. When she was done eating, she set her tray out in the hall and dialed Cho.

"Hey," he said, sounding out of breath. "You okay?"

"Yeah. What are you doing?" she asked curiously.

"We rented a U-Haul to drive stuff to Goodwill. The furniture's heavy."

Lisbon shook her head. She'd always be amazed at what Jane could convince people to do. "I wanted to check on the case."

"Everything's good. Amy had a stash of miniature paintings and the murder weapon in a storage unit she paid for in cash. She agreed not to press charges against Jane in return for taking the death penalty off the table, but she'll do life."

Lisbon recalled that Virginia not only had the death penalty, but frequently used it. "So Jane was right."

"Smug bastard usually is," Cho replied, grunting a little with exertion.

"Is that Lisbon?" she heard Jane ask in the background.

"Yes, it is, and no, you can't talk to her until we're finished moving this bookcase!" Cho replied.

"Tell him I ate dinner and I'll just watch TV until he gets back. And thanks, Cho." Lisbon hung up, chuckling a little at the mental image of Cho and Jane moving furniture—mostly Cho, no doubt. She hoped he didn't throw his back out again. Frowning, she called Jane. "No more heavy lifting for Cho!" she demanded.

"Hello to you too, my love. And don't worry. Fischer and Wiley are tackling the dresser."

"Maybe I should come supervise." She was beginning to worry. With her broken fingers, she couldn't do much hauling, but she could at least keep people from getting hurt.

"No need. This is the last of it. I made an appointment with the building manager for tomorrow morning so you can do the paperwork to break the lease, and then we can give our statements to the FBI and wrap up other loose ends. I've made reservations for our flight home day after tomorrow."

Lisbon sighed. "Okay. But don't think you get to decide everything unilaterally once we get home. You get one more day of hovering and that's it. Understand?"

"I'll happily share the decision making, my dear. Why don't you pick where to have dinner tomorrow night? We should give ourselves a treat."

Lisbon knew the perfect place. "I'll take care of it. You're coming back soon, right?"

"Probably an hour or so. Love you."

"Love you too," she said before she hung up. Then she settled on the bed with the remote control and tried to relax.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: **Okay, so I was wrong about this being the last chapter. Thank you for all the reviews and the follows and favorites that let me know you're still reading! Also, the restaurant in this chapter is a real place. I highly recommend it if you're ever in DC!

**Chapter 12**

After a morning spent running errands, Lisbon made a visit to Marcus' grave so she could tell him in person that they'd caught the killer and that retrieval of the art Amy had smuggled would be credited to him. Jane stayed with the cab, but she had no doubt he was watching her every move.

She wanted to give Jane a reward for his behavior on this trip, so after lunch they went to the National Zoo. While she enjoyed the animals, she was delighted to watch Jane interact with the children who seemed to be everywhere. His happiness in simple things like balloons and ice cream was contagious.

Then they went back to the hotel to rest and get changed for dinner. Lisbon refused to tell Jane where they were going, so she was surprised when he put on his suit and tie. "It's not the Ritz," she told him, smiling as she adjusted the knot.

"Just trying to look worthy of you, dear," he replied. For lack of anything better, she'd put her black dress on again.

He playfully bugged her to tell him where they were going as they walked to the Metro and rode back to Rosslyn station, where they left the subway and caught a Circulator bus across the Potomac to Georgetown. When they got off the bus and left the busy thoroughfare of M Street for the quiet side of Wisconsin Avenue, he guessed, "Planning to have your way with me in a dark alley?"

"Spoken like a man who's never been in a DC alley," Lisbon said, wrinkling her nose. "Ah. Here we are."

She led him up a few steps, then through a door and down a flight of stairs.

"A speakeasy?" Jane guessed, before they turned the corner to find the restaurant dining room.

"The best Italian food I've found here," Lisbon replied.

They shared a meal of delicious gnocchi and tortellini with lobster sauce, accompanied by a bottle of excellent red wine and finished off with the restaurant's trademark decanters of amaretto and sambuca. It was very late by the time they hauled themselves up the stairs and out into the cool night air.

"Do you mind if we walk?" she asked. "I ate way too much. But I always do at Filomena's."

"I'd love a walk," Jane agreed, taking her hand.

"I used to come up here just to walk around," Lisbon reminisced. "I love old neighborhoods. And even though it's mostly shops and restaurants along M Street, there are some gorgeous homes just a block or two back. Plus the bridge has a wonderful view, especially at night."

"It is a charming neighborhood," Jane agreed.

They didn't talk much until they got to the middle of the bridge and turned to look south toward the Kennedy Center, the Capitol, and the Washington Monument. The lights twinkled in the dark water, creating a beautiful reflection of the iconic view. Lisbon leaned on the railing, shivering a little at the breeze until Jane put an arm around her.

"I used to look at this and wish you would visit me," she said softly. "I'd think about all the things you'd love here. The museums, the opera and ballet, all the exotic restaurants and historical sites. All that intellectual stimulation."

"Mm." He leaned his cheek against her hair. "All that is nice, true. But truthfully, Teresa, I'd love anyplace I could be with you."

"I told myself I missed Austin," she admitted, "but mostly, I missed you."

"You'll never need to miss me again," Jane said.

She turned in surprise as he withdrew his arm, only to be even more surprised when he got down on one knee. He smiled reassuringly up at her, and she summoned an answering smile. She had no reason to be nervous; they both knew what her answer was going to be. But neither of the two other proposals she'd received in her life had felt like this.

Jane took out the ring box and opened it, holding it up for her to see. She didn't have to fake her delight at the way the gems sparkled in the light from the nearest street lamp.

"Teresa Lisbon," he said solemnly, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, catching bad guys and annoying our bosses and building a home and a family together. I want every sunrise to find us curled up together in bed and every sunset to find us smiling at each other wherever we are. I want to promise you publicly that you are the most important person in my life, and that you will never have to question that again. Will you accept this ring as a sign of that promise, and in return, wear it as a sign of your promise to marry me?"

"Yes," she said quickly, before she could choke up.

Jane slipped the ring onto her finger, kissed the back of her hand, and got to his feet to fuse his mouth to hers. As she put her arms around his neck and gave herself over to the kiss, a strange, bubbly sensation rose up in her. This, she realized, must be euphoria. It seemed fitting that being engaged to Jane would give rise to an entirely new sensation for her.

From the way Jane beamed at her when they separated, she guessed he was feeling the same way.

mmm

They were married three months later, after going through the counseling mandated by the church. Jane wore his tie, and Lisbon wore a simple white dress, not wanting a full-blown wedding gown but unable to throw tradition entirely out the window. All their friends and two out of three Lisbon brothers attended, and it was generally agreed that Annie was a beautiful bridesmaid, Cho a good looking groomsman, Ben an adorable ring bearer, and yes, that was a tear in Minelli's eye.

Lisbon had tears in her own eyes when Jane choked up, his voice nearly unrecognizable, as he recited, "With this ring, I thee wed." She knew he was reminded of his first wedding to his first love, a woman she would always share his heart with. But it was okay; his heart was big enough for the both of them. Just like it would hold any child they might have without crowding Charlotte.

She had her own ghosts today, wishing her mother could have been here and hoping for a better end to this marriage than her parents'. But the ghosts were at their backs; their future was in front of them. And it held every sign of being a long, happy one.

mmm

Lisbon was more upset each time her period arrived, and Jane knew better than to comfort her with promises that a baby would come in time. They both knew it might not. But when her period arrived two weeks after the wedding, he decided it was time to promise what he could.

"If we get to the six month mark without success, I'll go to a fertility specialist."

"But we know it's not you," Lisbon said, snuggled on his lap holding a carton of ice cream with two spoons, their monthly consolation routine. "You had a child."

"Almost twenty years ago now," he replied. "And a lot happened in those intervening years. I'm not willing to subject you to testing without doing the same."

"I love you," Lisbon sighed, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I love you too. And you are all I need to be happy. You know that, right?"

"I know. And you make me happy," she assured him. "I don't know why I want a baby so bad. I know it might not make sense, with our jobs, our age. It's just...it won't go away."

"Not everything we want has to make sense," he assured her. "I want you to have your wish. I'm willing to consider whatever measures might be necessary, as long as they don't endanger your health. That's where my line is, Teresa."

She sighed. "I know." She set the empty carton down on the coffee table and put her arms around him.

"It's still early days, love," he murmured into her hair, rubbing his hand along her spine and sliding the other into her hair, massaging gently to relax her. "Let's enjoy our time alone together, hm?"

"Mm hm," she agreed, but he knew she was still sad. She would be, he knew, for a while, until her period passed and a case came along to take her mind off her disappointment.

This was the one wish of hers it might not be in his power to fulfill, at least not single handedly. Jane frowned, running through possibilities in his mind. There had to be a way. IVF, egg donors, adoption...they had options, much as they were attached to the idea of doing things the old fashioned way. And they had the means to pay for whatever was necessary.

He recognized his arbitrary six month deadline as a stall. He loved being with Lisbon, learning to associate the word "wife" with happiness and security again instead of guilt and pain. It was a more difficult and lengthy process than he'd anticipated, and he was beginning to think he needed more than nine months to come to terms with the idea of being responsible for a child again. He couldn't go back on his word to Lisbon, though. She'd left Pike for him partly because he'd assured her she could have a family with him. He didn't want her to ever regret that.

He just hoped if they did conceive, it would be a boy. "Son" was a much less fraught word than "daughter" for him. Maybe he'd have dark hair and favor his mother, so Jane could focus on being the best possible father without remembering the fate he'd condemned his daughter to.

"Hey," Lisbon said, sitting up to look at him. "What's the matter?"

"Just thinking."

"Yeah, I got that. What about?"

He sighed. She didn't need to hear about his doubts, but he tried not to lie to her now. "I want to add to our family. I'm just a little concerned that I...I have a lot of baggage I've never unpacked. And it's one thing to work through my fears with you, because you understand. But a baby won't."

"I know. It's a big commitment," she said. "But every time I've seen you with a child, I've thought what a great father you must have been. And could be again."

Jane shook his head. "The thing is, Teresa, I wasn't. I mean, I like to think I was when I was around, but I missed way too much of her life, too busy hustling people to treasure her like she deserved. I thought we'd have more time together. I wanted to make sure she could have anything she wanted, go to college, travel abroad. But all she really wanted was my time. And I'll always hate myself for not giving her more of it instead of caring so much about the money. Because let me tell you, it was no consolation at all after she was gone."

She leaned her head against his shoulder and hugged him, but he was in no mood to be comforted.

"So don't set your heart on a baby because you think I deserve another chance, or because you have some fantasy that it will heal something in me that's broken. Because some things can't be fixed, Teresa, and that is one of them."

She sucked in a breath, then got up and left the room. Jane sighed, rubbed at his face, and followed her into the bedroom. She was sitting against the pillows, head on her knees. Her voice was muffled and strained as she said, "You should have told me you don't want a baby."

"That's not what I said, Teresa." They should not be having this discussion now, he thought. She was emotional and he was tired. "Can we talk about it later?"

"Fine. What do you want to talk about, the weather?" she snapped, lifting her head to glare at him. The sheen of tears in her eyes made his heart hurt.

He should have known he wasn't getting out of this that easily. "Listen," he said, sitting on the bed near her feet, "I was trying to explain why I'm not as upset as you are. I admit I'm conflicted. But that doesn't mean I don't want what you want. And it doesn't mean I'm not trying my best to give it to you." Last Friday, he'd tried four times between dinner and breakfast. That was pretty good for a man his age.

"But you don't want it for yourself," she accused.

Jane frowned, trying to think of how to explain himself. "I...have trouble wanting things for myself. Especially when I know I don't deserve them. Asking you to come back to me was something I could only do after I was truly, thoroughly miserable. And it's not possible for me to be that desperate about anything as long as I have you. But all that being said, when I think about you holding our baby in your arms, I feel...I feel a longing so powerful it's overwhelming. Like how I missed you when I was on the island."

The sadness and hurt in her eyes faded, replaced by hope.

He continued, "So it's not a lack of want, Teresa. But I do doubt my ability to be the kind of father you expect and that our child will deserve. I will try, though. I promise you that." He laid a hand on her knee and squeezed.

She let out a long sigh. "I can't ask for more than that."

"I'm sorry this can't be easier for us," he offered after a moment. He'd wasted so much time, precious months after his return when they could have been conceiving a child. They could have already had a child by now if he'd confessed his love to her the moment he got out of detention. Maybe if they'd just leaped straight into it, he wouldn't have had time to torture them both with doubts. But instead he'd procrastinated, then tried to do the noble thing by letting her leave with Pike, and then lured her back when he missed her too much, only to drag things out some more thinking she needed time to adjust. Looking back, he could see that he'd been the one who needed time. "Wanting something and being ready for it can be two different things," he mused.

"But don't you think you can get ready once the baby's on the way? Won't you be excited?"

"Of course I will. Teresa, I only brought this up because I didn't want you to feel that your reaction was unwarranted because I react differently."

She made a face at him. "Since when have we reacted to anything the same way?"

He chuckled. "Point taken."

"Can we just go to bed? I'm tired."

It was only nine o'clock, but Jane realized he was tired too. "Of course." He leaned over to kiss her. "Love you."

"Love you too," she assured him in return.

mmm

A horrible case involving a child pornography ring took up the next two weeks, and they were on the road with no time for their personal lives. When they were finally able to have a couple of days at home, Lisbon worried that the case would have fed Jane's fears about being able to protect his own child. After what they'd seen, she had to admit it was hard to think about bring a child into a world that contained such evil, but then, the world always had. And maybe their child would make it better, like they tried to do.

Still, she resolved not to pressure him. They'd been separated for the last part of the case, so she'd be grateful just to lie in his arms again. Snuggling together in their own bed at last, she whispered, "I missed you."

His arms tightened around her. "I missed you too. And I realized that one of the reasons I need you is to remind me that there is, in fact, good in the world."

"Tough case," she said, wondering if he wanted to talk.

"Yeah," he said, stroking her hair. "Horrible. No punishment can be enough for someone who would use a child like that. Or throw one away to be used like that."

Some things had to be left to God, she thought but didn't say. It comforted her to know that the criminals would face a terrible judgment worse than anything they could experience on Earth. She wished Jane could have that comfort too.

She was stunned when he continued, "And now they'll be left to the foster system. Which is rife with abuses all its own. I hate that. I wish we were in a position to be foster parents, help them try to have a normal life."

"Our schedules," she sighed. She had to admit the thought had occurred to her as well.

"That's going to be a problem with parenthood in general. What do you think we should do about it? I'm not in a position to find another job."

"I am." She swallowed hard. "Abbott says the FBI needs good administrators. We'll probably still need a nanny or daycare and reliable babysitters, though. I can't promise a 9 to 5 schedule, even if I'm not in the field."

Jane kissed her forehead. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too. But there's no way we can stay partners and have a family. I've thought about it a lot." She but her lip. "But I don't want you to feel like I'm abandoning you for a baby."

"Even I'm not that selfish," Jane assured her. "I guess I'll learn to live without you at work as long as I can come home to you." He sighed, then said, "I've wondered if our jobs aren't part of why we haven't conceived."

"What do you mean?" She frowned at him.

"I mean, your body is programmed for self-preservation. It won't take on the strain of a pregnancy if it senses there's danger or a lack of food or security. You're stressed on a daily basis, and you don't always eat, or eat healthy food when you do."

Lisbon grimaced. "You want me to go ahead and move out of the field now?" She'd planned to put it off until she was actually pregnant.

"That's up to you. Can you stay in your current job and pay attention to your diet, find some way to de-stress at the end of the day?"

"You're pretty good at de-stressing me," she reminded him, sliding a leg between his.

"Mm hm, and I'm happy to keep doing it." He kissed her gently. "But you need time for you. What about yoga? You used to enjoy that."

"I could find a class." Jane was right, she thought; she needed to make her life a little more baby friendly if she wanted to have one.

"And I'll start packing you a lunch," he promised. "Both of us. We can eat together if our schedules allow. And no more skipping breakfast."

"Okay." She slid a hand under his pajama top, feeling him react to her touch. "What do you need from me?"

He chuckled warmly in her ear. "All of you, love."

"Well, that's easy," she smiled, slipping her hands around to cup his ass.

For the next few minutes, it was all kissing and pushing and pulling at fabric until they were naked in each other's arms, and then he was pushing into her, filling her. She loved that feeling of being completely connected with him, the two of them sharing themselves without holding anything back. It felt like an act of creation, whether it resulted in conception or not.

Her orgasm blotted out all other thought, but as she came back to herself she was able to focus on Jane again. He was sweating a little as he worked inside her, pushing as deep as he could go, eyes closed to savor the sensations. But he opened them to check on her, smiling at her contented expression.

He came with a long, guttural groan, face contorting in ecstasy, and she loved that there wasn't any thought of masks or tricks when he was with her like this. They shared a sweet kiss before he pulled out of her, and then he collapsed on his side, his hand splayed over her belly as if protecting the potential life there.

Lisbon laid her hand on his, entwining their fingers. She would start making changes to their lives tomorrow, but this, how they were together, would never change, she promised herself. This was forever, whatever the future held in store.


	13. Epilogue

**Author's Note: **Okay, this isn't the ending I originally envisioned. It kind of wanted to be a whole other story, so I hope it isn't too out of control. Thank you for reading, and to all my kind reviewers out there, you rock!

**Epilogue**

The shrieking from downstairs told Lisbon it was time to close her laptop and leave the rest of her work for tomorrow. Bedtime was one of her favorite times, but it was always better on the nights Jane wasn't out on a case.

Their foster children had been with them for two months now, and they were settling into being a family. Mary and Ellie, 8 and 6, had a range of issues, but Jane had been part of their rescue from their nightmare life, so they mostly exempted him from their general distrust of men, and he always seemed to be able to get to the root of whatever was causing difficult behavior. Lisbon was convinced she'd never have been able to handle them on her own. Jane was better than having a live-in therapist. He was great at helping with schoolwork, too.

Going downstairs, she found Jane draped in a sheet, pretending to be a ghost while the girls laughed and squealed, pretending to be scared. They were wary of being touched by men, so Jane was careful about physical contact, but he loved goofing around with them, no matter how often she pointed out that getting them all worked up before bedtime was counterproductive.

"Uh oh," she said. "It's that pesky ghost again. What should we do about him, girls?"

"Tickle him!" they chorused.

So Lisbon got her evening workout chasing her husband around the living room and wrestling him expertly to the floor, holding him down with her knee while tickling him until he cried for mercy. Then she plucked the sheet off him while he lay panting and the girls clapped.

"Bedtime for bad ghosts," she announced. "And little girls."

Jane got to his feet, yawning. "Bedtime story, anyone?"

"My turn to pick!" Ellie exclaimed, jumping up and down in excitement.

They went upstairs, Lisbon joining the girls in their big canopy bed, loving how they snuggled up in her arms and leaned against her. They'd started out with twin beds, but the girls preferred to be close to each other at night, so they'd taken them furniture shopping a week after their arrival.

Jane always sat on a chair. It made Lisbon sad that he couldn't have the hugs and snuggles she enjoyed and that he'd had with Charlotte, but in a way, she thought this might be easier for him. The first night the girls were with them, he'd confided to her that he wasn't as terrified as he'd expected, because he was confident that nothing would happen to them in his care as bad as what they'd already been through. He felt he had something to offer them that they weren't likely to find anywhere else: real understanding and patience. With her loving acceptance and their happy marriage, he felt they could raise these girls and give them a chance at a normal life.

She'd never loved him more.

It took two stories for the girls to get drowsy, and then Lisbon turned on the nightlight and kissed them goodnight. Jane dropped kisses on the tops of their heads, one of the few touches they were comfortable with.

Then they closed the door behind them and went back downstairs to cuddle on the couch for a while.

"How was the case?" Lisbon asked, noticing Jane was quieter than usual.

"Meh." He shrugged. "It's always tough when the killer turns out to be the parent. I'll never understand it. To be given such a gift, and then to be so selfish that your child's existence becomes a problem to be solved. If there were any justice in the world, those kinds of people would never have children at all."

"Justice is meant to be a struggle, I guess," Lisbon sighed. "Sorry. I hope you'll get a nice juicy bank robbery or something next."

"Something I could solve with a complicated plan to make Abbott and Cho roll their eyes would be nice," he agreed. "Maybe you could guest star as my gun moll."

"Maybe." She slanted a smile up at him.

Jane tightened his embrace and kissed her temple. "We still have that appointment at the fertility clinic day after tomorrow, right?"

"Yes." Lisbon frowned. With her adjustment to her new job, two children in need of loving attention who were having trouble adjusting to school, and Jane's unpredictable schedule, she worried that going through fertility treatments, if they turned out to be necessary, might be the last straw. "But I...I wonder sometimes if it's selfish to put us through that. We have the girls now. That should be enough."

"And you're worried how they'll take it if we have a baby," Jane said. "That they might feel replaced or worried we won't have time for them, or resent the baby."

"I'm worried we're all going to end up in therapy," she admitted. The girls had a therapist, and they consulted with her regularly, but so far they were doing pretty well. She didn't want setbacks.

"Do you want to wait?" Jane asked softly.

"If we wait, we'll probably lose our chance," she sighed.

"Then let's do it. We'll deal with whatever problems arise. Who knows, a little brother might help the girls relate to boys better."

"And if it's a girl?" Lisbon couldn't help feeling that was a recipe for disaster. A little sister who, given her father's genes, was bound to be brilliant and beautiful and who would be sheltered from the horrors Mary and Ellie had experienced would inevitably be resented, she feared.

"We will make it work," Jane said firmly. "Let's at least go get a thorough understanding of our options, okay?"

"Okay." Lisbon tucked her head against his shoulder. "Are you...worried we won't get to keep the girls?"

"A little. Their mother might manage to stay clean once she gets out of jail. Or maybe one of their fathers will turn up to claim paternity."

"Unlikely, since she was turning tricks for money to buy drugs," Lisbon pointed out. She knew it was unchristian, but she had nothing but disdain for the woman who'd sold her children. That she had apparently believed the buyer was a private adoption broker didn't absolve her.

"But if their fathers can't be identified, they won't be able to surrender their parental rights, and we'll never be able to officially adopt them," Jane sighed. "Though maybe it's for the best. Mary might find my last name irksome."

She chuckled. "She could take mine. Oh, speaking of jail, they want me to testify at Amy's trial. The prosecutor called to let me know it'll be next week. Will you and the girls be okay without me?"

Jane hummed thoughtfully. "It's a little soon. They're beginning to trust me, but you're the one they've really bonded with. I'm not sure it's a good idea."

Lisbon sighed, wondering if they could persuade Fischer to spend the night.

"I think we should all go," Jane said suddenly. "DC's full of great kid activities. And I bet the girls have never been on a vacation."

"Can you get the time off?" Lisbon knew it was a silly question the moment the words left her mouth.

"Uncle Dennis won't deny the girls a treat." Jane grinned, and she knew that if necessary, he'd take the girls to the office to plead his case. Their coworkers all knew the girls' story, and Cho had been with Jane when they found them. Everyone was rooting for them.

"I thought I'd try to settle Marcus' estate while I'm there," she sighed. "I think everything's wrapped up."

"Good. Have you decided what to do with the money?"

"I...I know I said I wanted to donate it to charity, but lately I've been thinking. I don't think he'd mind if I set it aside for the girls. Do you?" She held her breath as she waited for his response.

"No, love. I don't mind, and I think Marcus would be glad to help our girls. For college? We can cover their tuition now, but it might come in handy later."

Lisbon couldn't help a shudder at what the private school was costing, but she had to admit that the girls needed a safe environment with understanding teachers, at least right now. "College, or to get started in their careers. Help me invest it?"

Jane chuckled. "I take it you don't mean I should use it as my stake at the nearest casino."

"I was thinking about a CD or mutual funds," Lisbon replied. "Though...if you wanted to see what you could do with some of it—not all!—you might talk me into it."

"Oo, I love it when you enable my vices," he breathed in her ear. "Want to go upstairs and see what you can do about the others?"

"Be good," she whispered, "and maybe we can sneak in a long lunch while the girls are at school."

Jane pulled her up, turning her so he could claim her mouth. They were careful about sex now, not wanting the girls to overhear, and the sense of sneaking around appealed to him. Lisbon was dying to really let go, though.

Maybe she'd take an extra day off before they left.

mmm

Testifying was never fun, but it was even less so when she was personally involved in the case. Jane had wanted to be there to support her, but they'd agreed a murder and kidnapping trial was no place for their girls. So the rest of her family went to the zoo while she was stuck in a courthouse. At least she'd get to join them for dinner later.

And she could take comfort in the fact that the trial seemed to be going well. Amy was doubtless going to prison for the rest of her life, and Lisbon hoped she hated every minute of it. She wanted it to be a fitting punishment for killing a good man and hurting and terrifying another.

As she left the courthouse, her phone rang. Lisbon grabbed it eagerly, hoping it was Jane, but instead it was the fertility clinic. She bit her lip, then sent it to voicemail. Whatever the news, she and Jane would need time alone to process it, and she didn't want to spoil the girls' first vacation. They were so excited about everything: the flight, the big city with all the gleaming white stone, and the historical (or possibly apocryphal) tales Jane seemed to spin nonstop.

She was thrilled that the girls had been happy to go have fun with Jane, showing no signs of nervousness that she was leaving them in his charge. He cared so much about them and devoted so much thought and effort to their wellbeing that he deserved to be loved and treasured in return. Someday, she hoped they would run to him with their nightmares as readily as they ran to her. It would take time, though, she knew. They had suffered for nearly a year, after all.

She texted Jane that she was finished, and he responded that they were still at the zoo and would meet her there. So she got on the Metro and headed to Woodley Park, grateful her testimony had been scheduled for early afternoon so she could have a little fun. It was a beautiful early summer day, not too hot yet and just a little humid.

That morning, she'd wrapped up Marcus' estate, and while she was relieved to be done with all the financial and legal work, she was a little sad too. It was like saying goodbye to him all over again.

She would always be grateful that Marcus had shown her she could have more than work in her life. And even though that life hadn't turned out to be with him, she gave him part of the credit for it. If he hadn't come along, Jane might have been content to go on as always. They might still be pretending to be just friends and colleagues instead of making each other happy and building a good life for their children.

Walking up the hill from the station to the National Zoo, Lisbon smiled in anticipation. Jane had texted her photos of the kids enjoying themselves, eating ice cream and picking out stuffed animals. They probably wouldn't want their dinner and might end up buying an extra suitcase to take all their loot home, but it would be worth it.

When she entered the zoo and looked around, she was delighted to spot Jane carrying Ellie with a huge stuffed tiger walking beside him. That thing was bigger than Mary, who was obviously attempting to carry it, and she wondered how on earth they would get it home. When she got within earshot, she said, "Really, Patrick. I entrusted you with two healthy girls, and now one can't walk and the other's been eaten by a tiger!"

Jane grinned as Mary shook the tiger and made "rawr" noises. "Ellie's tummy is a little rumbly. On reflection, the cotton candy with the snow cone might have been unwise."

Lisbon hurried to lay a hand on Ellie's back. "You okay, sweetie?"

"Huh uh," she said miserably, reaching out an arm.

Jane adjusted her weight. "You're too big for Teresa to carry, Ellie. But you can sit in her lap when we get in the cab, okay?"

"Okay," she sniffled.

Lisbon kissed her sweaty cheek and rubbed her back soothingly. The girls had lived on a diet of junk food most of their lives, but Jane was on a crusade to teach them proper nutrition. After a steady stream of veggies and fruit, the influx of sugar had apparently been too much for Ellie's delicate digestive system. "We'll get you some Pepto Bismol when we get back to the hotel."

Ellie wrinkled her nose, leaning her head back on Jane's shoulder. Lisbon was glad to see that she was okay with Jane holding her; that was a big step. Turning to Mary, Lisbon caught a grin on the girl's face before it vanished behind the tiger again. "So, tiger, you're in big, big trouble. You better spit Mary back out right now."

"Rawr, rawr," Mary responded. "I'm a big tiger and I'm all prowly and growly, so you better watch out!"

Jane said, "Turns out Mary is a cat person."

"So I see. Tigers can't fly on airplanes, you know," Lisbon told her. "So how are we going to get you home?"

Mary peeked out from behind the tiger, her happy smile fading. "I can't take him with me? Patrick promised!"

Jane said, "I always keep my promises, Mary. Your tiger just has to go a different way. We'll get him a nice box and he'll go in a different part of the plane."

Mary jumped up and down. "Yay!"

Lisbon bit back a question about how much this tiger was going to end up costing, because she didn't want to dampen Mary's happiness again and because Jane would just roll his eyes at her. "I take it we're getting a cab back?"

"I think that's best for Ellie," Jane replied as they all started walking toward the exit.

Lisbon looked down at Mary. "You want me to carry your tiger, Mary?"

"No. I can do it," Mary insisted.

Ellie whined, "Patriiiick."

"You want a drink, do you?" Jane asked. "Teresa, could you get it out of the bag?"

He turned partway around, and Lisbon rummaged in the drawstring sack he had slung over his shoulder. She pulled out the bottle and stared at it. "Perrier, Jane?"

He chuckled at her use of his last name. "The carbonation helps settle her stomach. They didn't have ginger ale."

"Next you'll be making them caviar scrambled eggs," she sighed, unscrewing the cap off the bottle and holding it up for Ellie to drink.

"Truffles, maybe. Not caviar," he replied, apparently serious. "Mary, you need a drink?"

"Uh huh." She wrestled the tiger around until Lisbon gently took it from her, handing her the bottle instead. The girl gulped down a mouthful and then held out her arms for the tiger.

"What's his name?" Lisbon asked as she took the bottle and gave the tiger back.

"Her. It's a girl," Mary said, as if that should have been obvious. "Her name is Teresa, but Patrick said we should call her a nickname so we won't get confused. So we'll call her Tess."

"Tess the tiger," Lisbon said, touched.

"She's going to sleep at the foot of the bed and protect us," Mary said.

"Good." They reached the exit, and Lisbon hailed a passing cab. They all got inside, Lisbon first, then Ellie on her lap, then Mary, and lastly Jane wrestling Tess the tiger into the cab before closing the door.

Holding Ellie, who snuggled so trustingly on her lap, Lisbon made a decision. The girls needed them. She couldn't be selfish, sinking time, energy, and money into trying to defeat nature. They were a family. Maybe not the family she'd dreamed of, but God didn't always answer prayers the way you expected, she knew. She'd be grateful for what He had seen fit to give her and not question it.

She kissed Ellie's head, smelling apple scented shampoo (not strawberry, not ever, for Jane's sake), sweat, and cotton candy, and smiled down at Mary, who was playing with Tess' whiskers. Then she looked at Jane, who was looking back with the intent expression that she knew meant he was reading her. She smiled to reassure him, and he leaned across Mary to kiss her quickly.

Yes. This was right. This was their family.

mmm

Jane could tell Lisbon had been wrestling with something but had come to a decision. He hoped it wasn't anything to do with the trial. She seemed happy, so he was content to wait to find out what it was.

Now that the girls were settled in and bonding with her, she had a glow of contentment, and he loved watching her being a mother. She was every bit as good at it as he'd imagined, and it made her happy, even though sometimes it was difficult and even painful. But one of the reasons he'd wanted the girls to live with them was that Lisbon was the best example he could imagine of someone who had triumphed over her past. She could show them how, without even trying. She could help them heal, just like she'd helped him.

Right now she was making a quiet fuss over Ellie, helping her feel safe and loved. It didn't escape Jane's attention that Mary was watching, even though she was pretending not to. He'd never forget finding the girls in that squalid room, Ellie hiding under a blanket and Mary glaring fiercely at him and Cho as they stood in the doorway. When Jane had gently suggested the hiding child reveal herself, Mary had said, "That's my sister. Don't you touch her!"

Mary would find a kindred spirit in Lisbon, also a protective big sister. And hopefully she could have the childhood Lisbon hadn't, now that she was beginning to trust them with Ellie's care.

Ellie was asleep by the time they got to their hotel downtown, and Jane helped Mary out of the cab, handed her Tess, and went around to the other door to pick Ellie up so Lisbon could get out. Then he took the girls upstairs to their two-bedroom suite while Lisbon went to the drugstore next door, laying Ellie on her bed with Mary and Tess watching and then ordering a light dinner from room service.

Lisbon arrived with medicine and ginger ale, gave Ellie a little of both, then gave her a quick wipe down in lieu of a bath and put her in her pajamas, tucking her in with kisses and comforting murmurs. Dinner arrived shortly afterward, so Mary and Lisbon left Ellie in Tess' charge and sat down at the little table in the main room, leaving the door open in case Ellie called for either of them.

During dinner, Lisbon distracted Mary from worrying about her sister with questions about the animals she'd seen, further demonstrating her excellence as a mother. Jane enjoyed watching them, remembering with a pang how he'd marveled at Angela and Charlotte. With only vague memories of his own mother, he was happy to know the children in his care had what he'd missed.

Mary began yawning before she was finished eating, so after her bath she was amenable to going to bed. Moving Tess to the foot of the bed, Mary crawled to her sister's side and draped an arm over her.

Lisbon bent to kiss Ellie's forehead, then straightened to tell Jane, "She hasn't got a fever, and she's sleeping soundly. She'll be fine in the morning, I bet."

"I'll be more careful next time," he said ruefully. "Poor little thing."

Lisbon caught his hand in hers. "You were just trying to give her a treat. But next time, go easy on the sweets, okay?"

"I will," he murmured.

"Story?" Mary asked, yawning.

"Of course." Jane looked around for a chair he could move.

"You can sit with Tess," Mary offered, then bit her lip.

"Thank you," Jane smiled, sitting at the foot of the bed beside the tiger. He then recited one of Mary's favorite books from memory, doing all the character voices, while Lisbon sat stroking Mary's hair. She was asleep before he finished.

As they left, Lisbon didn't close the door all the way. The girls always wanted to be behind a closed door, but he knew tonight Lisbon wanted to be able to hear Ellie.

"How was the trial?" He asked after they were in their own room.

Lisbon kicked off her shoes, lying down on the bed with a sigh of relief. "It went okay. They've got an airtight case. And everything went okay at the courthouse, so that's over with."

Jane couldn't be sorry to finally have Pike out of their lives and less stress on Lisbon. "Good. Did you hear from the clinic today? They called me but didn't leave a voicemail."

"Oh. Yeah, I have a voicemail. I haven't listened to it yet." She bit her lip, and Jane knew this was what she had been wrestling with earlier. "I'm not sure I want to."

"Whatever it is, we'll deal with it," Jane assured her, settling on the bed beside her and reaching for her hand.

"That's the thing. I don't...I want to focus on the girls. I've spent too much of my life wishing for what I didn't have," she said softly.

Jane scooted down and turned so they were lying nose to nose. "But some of your wishes came true, didn't they?"

"Yes. I got you. Finally." She smiled and kissed him. Then she sighed. "But I don't want to get so wrapped up in wanting what I don't have that I miss what I do have."

Jane was torn. One one hand, he was relieved not to have the worries that would come with a pregnancy and infant care. But on the other, he was deeply sad at the thought of never seeing Lisbon all round and glowing or nursing her baby. "So you're saying, what? You don't want to have a baby after all?"

"I'm saying...I don't want to do any treatments. I want to just focus on our family. If a baby happens, great. If it doesn't, fine." She searched his face anxiously. "Are you okay with that?"

"Yes," he assured her. "But...dreams are hard to let go of, Teresa. You may feel this way now, but next week or next month you may change your mind."

"I won't," she said, setting her little chin stubbornly. He couldn't resist kissing it.

"Okay. But let's not close any doors just yet. Let's at least find out where we stand," he said. "We don't have to make any decisions, but we should at least go get the test results."

Lisbon sighed. "Okay." She pulled out her phone, put it on speaker, and played the voicemail.

"Hello Ms. Lisbon, this is Stephanie from Dr. Gaines' office. We have your test results, but there's no need to come in again. It turns out you won't be needing our services at all. Congratulations, and please see your ob/gyn as soon as possible. Good luck!"

Lisbon sucked in a breath of shock, and Jane felt a smile stretch his face almost painfully. He couldn't seem to stop, even when his wife kissed him, giggling breathlessly from sheer happiness.

mmm

Seven and a half months later, Ian Andrew Jane made his appearance and met his exhausted but ecstatic mother, his relieved and amazed father, and, a little later, his two curious older sisters. As Jane rocked him in his arms on his first night home, he couldn't take his gaze off the little face with his mouth and Lisbon's eyes, imagining his future.

He would grow up playing tea party and wearing silly hats, hating Little League but falling in love with tennis, learning to play the piano and then teaching himself the guitar, and dropping out of Juilliard to join the Peace Corps before coming back to the States to go to Stanford, finally graduating with a degree in criminal justice.

He would have an affinity for magic tricks and a passion for justice, and he would love his family fiercely. His mother would light up every time he came into the room, and his father would be so proud of him that there was no room left in him for guilt or worry or self-loathing. His sisters would adore him and ask his advice about their boyfriends, and their Thanksgiving and Christmas family dinners would be full of laughter.

"Welcome," Jane whispered to his son. "Welcome to the family."

Then he laid the baby in the bassinet and turned to the bed, where Mary and Ellie were cuddling with Lisbon now that she was finished nursing.

"Bedtime story?" he asked.

"Yeah!" The girls grinned.

Jane took his seat near the foot of the bed, massaging his wife's feet through the covers. "Once upon a time, there was a man who had everything he ever wanted, until he lost it through carelessness. He was angry, and he went on a quest to find revenge. But along the way he met an angry little princess who had lost her tiara, and after he helped her find it, she agreed to help him with his quest. She was a very beautiful princess, and she had three loyal knights, but she needed cheering up. So the man became her jester. And they had many adventures, some of them quite silly..."

THE END


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